Summer After Freshman Year--Back In the Nest? Yes or No - Page 3

katliamom · 04-03-2008, 06:53 PM

Chedva, my own D came home the summer after her freshman year for the same reason: we weren't about to subsidize her housing costs in Boston if she could live rent-free at home in Colorado. It worked out OK -- but she was REALLY anxious to get back to her school life come September. By the time she was packing she was threatening "this is my LAST summer in Denver!" It was a little hurtful, but I know she didn't mean it in a negative way: she was simply ready for a more permanent life in an exciting city. Ironically enough, she was home for the semester six weeks later: she got mono and spent much of october and november at home in bed! This summer, she's staying in Boston, working and taking classes trying to make up for a lost semester -- and is very happy about it. (Sigh-but I'm happy she's happy.)

katliamom · 04-03-2008, 06:54 PM

Marian! Yikes! 18 pounds is a lot of weight to lose. I hope she's OK...

Marian · 04-03-2008, 07:00 PM

katliamom, she seems to be fine. She just has a schedule that makes it hard to get to the dining halls for some of the scheduled meals, and she doesn't seem to make up for the missed meals in other ways. She was a little heavier than she would like to be at the beginning of the year. Now she's considerably thinner, but still in the normal range. I think the absence of a kitchen full of food downstairs simply discouraged her from eating more than she should, and the extra exercise of walking around a huge campus helped her to take weight off, too.

But all her pants don't fit properly now, which is frustrating because she bought about ten pair last summer so that she wouldn't have to do laundry too often. *sigh*

If anything was wrong with her, I would know. She always seeks my advice on health issues (to the point where she once e-mailed me a photograph of a cut to ask whether it was infected). She has had a few medical problems during this school year, but nothing that she couldn't deal with.

calmom · 04-03-2008, 07:51 PM

My daughter actually returned to our geographic area after freshman year and sublet a room in an apartment to live on her own (with bf) in the city. (I'm in a suburb about 15 minutes away) So she was home a few days, moved out, then came home for about a week at the end of the summer before returning to school. I got to see her by arranging to meet her in the city and stopping by her apartment. She had an internship in the city, so she was working full time.

The cool thing is that she got very frustrated and complained to me that her roommates were alway leaving dirty dishes in the sink and she was stuck doing everyone's dishes all the time. Boy, was she angry! I told her I knew the feeling.... well. (Since then when she has stayed at home she has been soooo much better about helping out around the house).

For the coming summer I won't see her at all - she's going abroad, leaving from and returning to NY where she attends school.

momofthreeboys · 04-03-2008, 07:54 PM

My freshman S finally announced this week that he was, in fact, coming home. He's been on and off, but his next year roommate is still on foreign study so I think he decided he's rather be home. I really think it will be the last time he comes home for an extended period of time. My h and I "think" we're happy about it. Christmas went well and he seemed genuinely happy to be home (as opposed to his senior HS year) and he has his "old job" all ready lined up. I can relate, as the summer between my freshman and sophmore college years was the last time I came home for an extended period of time with the exception of the Christmas break.

justhismom · 04-03-2008, 08:08 PM

We are looking forward to our S return home for the summer. He has applied for a couple of jobs already and hopefully he will have something lined up by the end of the school year. He needs to work this summer since the Bank of Mom and Dad will be closed from May to Sept. He also wants to work which is nice. Since like all the other college kids, he keeps odd hours it will be interesting to see how he manages to get up for work each day. My dishwasher, fridge and washer/dryer are not looking forward to him returning.
He just informed us today that since next year they had to sign a 11 month lease for housing on campus, that he would like to take a summer class. My response was good, you can get a job there on campus for when you are not in class.
We should all check back in with each other in July to see if we are still thrilled to have them home. It will be interesting.....

swimcatsmom · 04-03-2008, 08:11 PM

Quote:

He needs to work this summer since the Bank of Mom and Dad will be closed from May to Sept.

LOL justhismom

over30 · 04-03-2008, 08:32 PM

My freshman will be home this summer which makes mom, dad and the dog happy. He's been offered a lab job which pays decently and says he also wants to do some tutoring on the side to earn some extra money. He says he wants to spend this last summer with his high school friends who will be here, but that this is probably his last summer home. Sounds about right to me and we're thrilled he'll be home. (Older brother is graduating and starts his "real" job 1,000 miles away.

Both of mine are nocturnal and our rule is "be very very quiet and don't wake us up." They know I am a worrier, so they tell me where they are going and call if their plans change. If it's late, they send a text message so if I wake up in the middle of the night I'll know where they are. Works well for everyone. Plus, with a day job semi-normal hours are a requirement.

oldfort · 04-03-2008, 08:32 PM

My daughter is going to be home this summer. She has 2 jobs lined up locally. We are looking forward to have her home for a while. She was home for 6 weeks this winter and it just flew. We have a few family trips planned this summer already. I think this may be the last summer she is home...she will probably do a year abroad junior year...it makes said.

anxiousmom · 04-03-2008, 08:38 PM

DS will be back in the nest this summer. I'm off in the summer (teacher) so it works out well, since we will have to share a car. He'll be working M-F 8+ hours outside in the baking heat, supervising little hoodlums at outside camp - so he's going to be plenty ready to sleep and I don't anticipate any issues. He's a great guy and hubby and I will be delighted to have him here.

astrophysicsmom · 04-03-2008, 10:23 PM

I am thrilled that D will be home this summer. I'd mentally prepared otherwise, as she was talking about several options that didn't include coming back here. I was happy earlier this week(yet guilty) that she was NOT chosen for a prestigious internship that she had applied to; she was told by her profs that it would be unlikely for her to get it, since she has only finished her first year of school, so she wasn't really expecting it. That notification finalized her decision...she's going to take an online history course so she can take even more heavy-duty science classes on campus. Of course, I'm no fool. The reason she's coming home is that her bf is doing an internship here. (They go to different schools), so they are really looking forward to the summer. I'm not expecting to see too much of her, but still.... I'll be glad she's "home".

mominva · 04-03-2008, 10:56 PM

Yes, DD will be home, well at least based in our home, and working for the summer. We'll have a full house, as her college grad siblings now rent their rooms from us

If last summer is any indication, it will be a rare day that all 5 of us will actually have dinner together or be asleep at the same time

NorthMinnesota · 04-03-2008, 11:14 PM

D1 will be home again after sophomore yr. She has another paid internship that we found through family networking. We like when she is home. We set ground rules and expectations the first year and so far so good! She knows she is blessed with no loans and no payments on her part as long as she abides by the family rules. She loves taking friends to the lake/cabin and boating and not paying rent even if that means doing her laundry, cleaning her bathroom, doing dishes and helping around the house when necessary. We set the rules and so far all has been fine. It's comfortable being home but there are chores and expectations.

07DAD · 04-04-2008, 10:27 AM

I imagine that for those of us parents whose student does not return to the parents' home this first summer there will be no repeat of the transition we (both the student and the parents) experienced at the end of the summer after the senior year in HS. THAT sure is a plus.

I have noticed throughout my S's freshman year, that as each break came and went, he seemed more self-assured in making and living with his choices since (1) he had to pay for what he did and where he went and (2) he experienced no "grief tax" from us if he didn't stay long to visit us.

S is already working on an internship for the following summer in DC (a long way from where we live).

In reading the posts in response to my Original post, it struck me that when I was in my 20's-40's and was on vacation, I would stay our later and sleep in the next day. Do you think that some students think of college summer break as a vacation? If so, isn't their behavior "ADULT"? Seems that a possible solution is for the parents whose kids return to the nest for the summer to firmly establish whether they (the parents) view the summer as the student's vacation.

Since we are on the same page with our S that this summer is a time for him to earn next years spending money, if he wants to be able to do much and/or go anywhere at breaks during the school term, his choice to take an OOS job that will net him more than being in town and working would seems the "adult" decision for him.

I don't think my desire to see him more should trump this.

astrophysicsmom · 04-04-2008, 11:37 AM

You raise an important question, re: is it vacation or not?

Hmmm. Here's our take, which is probably different than most, but coming from some significant life events that H and I have experienced...

We consider D's "job" to be a college student, and to get good grades. We pay the $$$ that's not covered by scholarships, and give her spending money....She knows that grad school will follow, and in order for her to have the best possible experiences/options, she's jumped in with both feet, in terms of tough classes, a research assistant position as a freshman, etc. Our mantra for her college experience, though, is that it should be FUN, and not something to endure. She's having the time of her life, and has earned straight A's. Thus far, she's certainly held up her end of the bargain.

We DO consider her summer to be "vacation". She's going to be taking a history class at the local CC (to get rid of that remaining requirement in basic req's), and she's figuring out what she wants to do the rest of the daylight hours. (Her bf has a 9-5 internship, so I've already assumed that from 5:01 on, we won't see her.) I'll expect her to do her laundry, keep her areas clean (not a problem, she's pretty OCD about her "stuff" being put away), and help out (some!!), but it's up to her of whether she works or not. We're "retired" and having her around to hang out with during the day will be fun... Our summers tend to be kind of strange anyway, at least for the last 3 years. H and D2 will be gone for 5 weeks from late June to early Aug (Kilimanjaro, etc.!) and I've planned to go play "Thelma and Louise" with a friend up in the Northeast, and probably will retreat to a mexican beach during part of July, as well, so I don't think we'll have a chance to get too sick of each other.

I may have a different story to tell in August, but at this point I can't wait to have her around to tell stuff to in person, instead of IM, e-mail, texting or calling!!!