Summer After Freshman Year--Back In the Nest? Yes or No - Page 4

bugmom · 04-04-2008, 12:30 PM

My freshman S is applying for a internship/RA job at his school for a summer HS student program. If he gets that, he may be home a few weeks. If that does not come through he will be home and probably working at some waiter job. That will make him very unhappy but will end up with big money for back to school.

michone · 04-04-2008, 04:47 PM

Here's a question that's not related to this thread, but thought I'd ask. Do your college-aged children still want to go on family vacation with you. My son (current freshman) doesn't want to vacation with us. Last year he went away with friends as a last hurrah before they all went away to college. Do any of you have experience leaving your college-aged children home while the rest of the family goes on vacation?

oldfort · 04-04-2008, 04:53 PM

No, we can't get rid of our college daughter. Every vacation she wants to come. We have a lot of good memories around all of our family vacations. I am trying to plan a vacation to south asia and it might not coincide with her breaks, she is having a fit. On the other hand, we also can't imagine going on family vacation without her.

djvu009 · 04-04-2008, 05:16 PM

I read all about empty nest syndrome in another thread, about how you parents are crying b/c your s's and d's are leaving for college. And then I see this thread about you not wanting your children back for the **ENTIRE** summer. Why wouldn't you want to see your kids for as much time as you can?

Any ASIAN parents have anything to say on this? We sure have different values/family dynamics. We are expected to live at home until marriage. Many people are even expected to live at home after marriage, to take care of their parents. Of course, none of this is set in stone, but we always have the option of living at home, knowing that our parents actually WANT US THERE. Sending a chinese parent to a "home" for elders is a BIG NONO.

What's this I hear about parents asking their fresh college grads to PAY RENT if they want to move back home? Wow...talk about different values.

Then I hear about parents not tapping into their retirement funds to help their kids pay for college. I'm not saying that anyone SHOULD do that, but I'm sure chinese parents would go in debt to let their kids go to their dream school. That's because they know we will take care of them when they get older. Chinese parents don't have to worry about saving for retirement. That's what their children are there for.

swimcatsmom · 04-04-2008, 05:22 PM

I think the majority of posters on this thread would like their kids home for the summer - I know I would. But if they have an opportunity to do something important to them, as my daughter does, that means they will not be home for the summer then we are willing to put their wish to do that ahead of our wish to have them home.

And one of my daughters high school friends is Chinese and I know she is not planning to come home for the summer. Don't know if her parents expected her to or not.

proudinnj · 04-04-2008, 05:27 PM

Sons are taking courses during first summer session then coming home to work as lifeguards at the beach. This might be their last summer on the beach because they'll be applying for internships next summer.

Lets see -- summer at the beach -- in my next life I want to come back as one of my sons!

As for vacations -- they still enjoy our company, particularly when we pay! Who wouldn't?

mom2three · 04-04-2008, 05:30 PM

Oddly, since I'm one of the folks who thinks that a whole summer home could lead to conflicts, our college-aged kids DO vacation with us. With two in school now the scheduling gets a little difficult, but we did a short family trip to Washington D.C. over Christmas, and it was great, and we hope to coordinate schedules to take some other family trip this summer - maybe to a reunion with DH's family.

Being somewhere different, with things to do as a family, and no work/school responsibilities creates a great atmosphere, and we have a great time.

Both my sons who are in college have year-round contracts for housing, so it makes more sense for them to take a couple of courses and come home for a couple of weeks.

It's lots of fun when the three boys get together. They are so close in age, and have so many shared interests and experiences. They speak their own shorthand.

swimcatsmom · 04-04-2008, 05:30 PM

I think my kids would still vacation with us - if only we could afford a vacation

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mom2three · 04-04-2008, 05:43 PM

I hear you!!!!

garland · 04-04-2008, 05:51 PM

We have an extended family get-together in the same place every summer, (where we recently bought a house which we will hopefully soon move to) and my kids almost always make it there, even the 25 year old. It's a tradition they look forward to, even though we've lost some family and w're not all in the same house anymore. They don't always make it, but they are always glad if it works for them.

I have a friend who said--kids will come on vacations they don't have to pay for--at least, ones like mine who certainly don't have unlimited funds for other options!

Like many here, mine always needed to work in the summer for pay, so these unpaid internships or summer classes described in some posts were really not an option, unless they found a way to make up the money. But I envy y'all who had the extra to facilitate that--just wasn't an option for us.

citygirlsmom · 04-07-2008, 01:28 PM

SO- its official, my D will not be home AT ALL this summer- well, maybe for a couple of long weekends, but she is working 35hours a week, staying in her dorms and enjoying summer in NYC....sigh

But she is THRILLED!!! She will miss her friends and may be at a loss sometimes for companionship some evenings, but she is resourcefull enough to keep busy and make new friends with others also working or studying at the school

Life moves on

MidwestMom2Kids_ · 04-07-2008, 02:02 PM

After freshman year (2009 summer), my daughter is planning to be a camp counsellor at a camp that would fill over half of her summer weeks - I think this will work for us. It still gives us a few weeks to enjoy having her in town, but not so long that we will all drive each other crazy.

MidwestMom2Kids_ · 04-07-2008, 02:04 PM

You know, anyone who is looking for something for their kid to do that doesn't involve them staying at home - Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky Ohio has dorms for its summer workers. And a number of kind of fun programs for the workers, who include many international kids. If you can't see your kids at home, instead of paying to send the kids somewhere, let them go somewhere and earn money.

07DAD · 04-07-2008, 02:28 PM

Interesting that camp counselor as a summer job is mentioned.

I looked at the escalating gasoline prices, the rising food costs and apartment rental/out of pockets (rising utilities) and realized that a job after freshman year that covers room, board, utilities and has no transportation costs for weeks at a time AND pays money to boot is a pretty good deal.

avoidingwork · 04-07-2008, 03:22 PM

S1 and S2 have worked at a summer camp since they were 17 and 16 respectively, so I haven't had children at home for summer for 3 years. It is a family camp, so I go and visit them for one week out of the summer.

As for family vacations, we still do them together and I am hoping that continues. We go to a 4-day camping music festival in the spring. We did a short road trip to LA last year. Then, I lure them with periodic big trips. We went to the Galapagos a few years ago and as S1 will be in Thailand for a semester, I'm hoping S2 and I can join him for some traveling in the area.