Didn’t get in any this year, need recommendations for next year

[je_ne_sais_quoi]

I am sorry your son and you are struggling. You came to the right place for advice -- I am new to College Confidential but I couldn't have gotten through this process without the help and support of the people here.

I want to add one more suggestion, since you mentioned wanting a small campus (and social sciences). I assume you mean he wants to major in social sciences, not learn to be more sociable. Please try to read a book called "Colleges That Change Lives" by Loren Pope. It is very helpful. The author writes about excellent schools that help students find their voice.

Best of luck to you and your son. He is lucky to have you for his mom.

[epiphany]

hey, jnsq, you're not so "new." You're 2.33 years old!

I was going to ask the OP a question, but I'm concerned it will appear rude or insensitive in this thread, and that's not the thrust. It's a question, though, I genuinely have, so I'll open a new one.

[Dad II]

I am sorry to see what happened to a smart kid. However, OP must learn some lessons from it. I am going to be less PC on the subject.

First of all, Asian boys are "THE" most competitive group per college admission. Your son's SAT I of 2300 is very good among all the students but I would not consider it so outstanding among the asian boys to make your son stands out. Besides, the test scores does not seem to be that important for "Top" schools lately. His 3.5 GPA and less than 10 total AP taken might put him outside of the top 10% among asian boys. Had you posted this in a "chance" thread, I would have all top 15 schools as high reach for him.

From your limited disclosure, I think the #1 issue here to do help your son improving his social skill. It is not just college, most of the companies will prefer "doer" too.

So, it might be better to aim a little lower on the "ranking" for next year and let him having a chance to shine in the school.

Best of luck to your family

[je_ne_sais_quoi]

(An aside to epiphany: I posted once in 2005, then didn't return until 11/2007, I believe. Compared to a lot of CCers, I surely feel "green"!)

[ellemenope]

One more thing you might think about: just because a student gets As in English doesn't mean that the essay will be excellent. The kind of writing taught in high school ("Compare and contrast this and that") is not the kind of writing required on a great essay for college applications.

You might want to have someone read his essays to see where they might be improved. I would not suggest his English teacher. Some of the CC eyes might be willing to take a peek.

[mom5]

Moderator,
Can you remove my posts
Sorry everyone for this inconvinience
Thanks.
Mom5

[epiphany]

As both a class essay reader & application essay reader, I completely agree with post 65.

Regarding DadII's post, on the social skills thing, good point. A few realities about social skills:
- needed for college. (Colleges are not monasteries.)
- needed for companies, as he said. (Needed for job interviewing also!)
- needed for the college application process, as it exposes the student, requires him or her to describe himself, usually, and even requires interviews, often. And as we've seen, the process can be brutal.
- helpful for happiness, finding a mate, staying peacefully married.
- most overlooked aspect: important for maximum learning & even recognition by others, in the years kingergarten through 12. We have a number of students right now at our center, plenty of non-Asian as well as Asian, whose lack of social skills has contributed & is contributing to their failure or poor performance. Can't look anyone in the eye -- or at least any adult or authority figure; respond by mumbling in monosyllables; body posture & body language reflect the same social maladjustment. They make themselves as invisible as possible in the classroom. The result is, they're being ignored and passed over.

I'm not talking personality or temperament. A shy person can have sufficient social skills. But social skills actually do affect academics.

[marite]

To build on epiphany's post, a parent once posted about his son's interview at a highly selective school. The kid was very smart and had great ECs. But when asked "why college X...?" he replied :"I dunno." Some time later, the dad reported the kid had not gotten in (but did get into a great school which did not require an interview).

[MidwestMom2Kids_]

Another concern is that if this bright young man is shy then the gap year may or may not change anything for him. He may find it even harder to become more outgoing than if he were in a school. He may find it difficult to get a good rec. in the fall if he is shy. Just because he needs to look better on applications does not mean he will have the comfort level or the skills to get a great rec. I, too, think he should find a school for this fall.

I agree with Oregon101.

[cottonwood513]

When I wrote post #40, I did not mean to suggest he should take a gap year. I don't think St. Olaf's is still taking admissions for next fall. Anyone know?

[deb922]

I am sorry mom5 that you feel that you have to delete this post. I think that what you are saying is very important and people are giving great advice. I read that other people in your life are not happy about you posting on this site. I want to say that there is nothing, I mean nothing to be ashamed of. I hope the best for you and for your S and I hope he finds a college he can be happy at.

[thumper1]

I'm looking forward to hearing the happy ending to the story for mom5's son. There WILL be a happy ending...just as their was for Andison. And that saga certainly is the top classic for me on this forum. It helped so many folks view the application process in a different way...and realize that "when one door closes, another one opens".

[ellemenope]

Amen, Thumper1! A true CC classic...

[curmudgeon]

deb, post # 66 makes me sad, too.

[oregon101]

I will respect your decision to ask the forum to no longer post--but not until I let you know that Linfield College outside of Portland, Or is still accepting applications. It is a gem of a school. I hope that you and and your s take a look at their website. I just saw it yesteday and know that another member just toured it with her d's and they really liked it. Good luck