Parent’s right on college student grades?

[fencersmother]

Hillsdale College mails the grades to parents, and even has parent/prof conferences!

[mini]

"But I do think that if parents are paying, they should see the grades - however it comes to them."

I don't get the "should" here. They might want to see them and, as you note in your situation, would have a good reason to. But I would have no good reason to - and their grades are far less interesting or important to me than what they are learning. (What would be unsettling to me would be to see all "A"s, which would suggest to me that they weren't really challenging themselves or stretching their vistas widely enough for my tastes.)

But then we homeschooled.

[mom2three]

I'm with the "scholarship of mom" folks. I look forward (with great longing) to the day when my kids are financially independent and in charge of their own lives. However, right now, I am paying a LOT of their freight. They accept my access to their grades and records without complaint.

If I hadn't had that access when one of my sons took a nose-dive, he would probably have flunked out, because he was so oblivious he didn't realize how bad things were.

If I were to "mind my own business" I'd be driving a nice car and going on a lot more cruises. I am minding their business, in a very literal way (rent, tuition, doctors, insurance, etc., etc.).

[momofthreeboys]

I too am of the "scholarship of mom" school and agree of mom2three. If the parents are paying then there is a vested interest in keeping on eye on things. If the government says the buck stops with the parents then they need the ability and authority to influence the situation. My S1 didn't question it when I asked for access, in fact his fall grades came in while he was at home for Christmas and he told me he was going to look them up and did I want to look over his shoulder and he's "self reporting" to us fairly consistently. I imagine this could be a problem in some families (the kids aren't as open with the parents) He does go to a school that sends a note to freshman parents simply telling them if their progress is "satisfactory" or "unsatisfactory" so I figured he was doing OK. If my kids were paying their own way - I'd never give "knowing their grades" a thought because the buck would stop with them. My S has a scholarship contingent on a certain GPA, but the office that administers those told me that they would haul my son in and give him a "talking to" if he was in a position of loosing it and also told me they would certainly give parents a heads up if their child were in danger of loosing a merit scholarship...but it's a small school so they can "do" those sorts of touchy, feely things I think. I think some of this "your an adult, but not really - you're responsible, but oops not really" legal stuff is utterly ridiculous and sometimes I wonder what drugs our lawmakers are on.

[mini]

I guess maybe I trust my kids more than most, and I've never had them disappoint me. But I don't think a "should" belongs in this discussion.

[thumper1]

It depends on the school. At DS's school, unless students specifically indicate that they do NOT want their grades mailed home...they get mailed "to the parents of___." We got them for eight semesters. At DD's school EVERYTHING goes to the student...including the bills. However we politely told DD that as long as we were paying the bills, we needed to have her sign the release to deal with the school on all issues. She had NO interest in dealing with the bills...So we do have access to her grades too.

However, both of my kids have been very good about emailing me their grades. DS is a grad student, and he has sent us his grades quarterly with a note saying "I'm sure the school will be sending these too." I don't have the heart to tell him that the school is NOT sending us anything...

[gladmom]

You’re right, yayverily. I misread the FERFA document. I knew, though, that we were allowed to get the grades no matter what, because an excerpt from an article in the NewYorkTimes said:

"The proposal also clarifies, but does not change, the often misunderstood rules on parents’ access to their children’s college grades and other records. The privacy law lets universities give parents the education records of students claimed as dependents on their tax returns."

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/25/us...rmation&st=nyt

Thanks, dadx, for pointing this out.

Our D willingly signed the paper that allowed the school to send us grades. She went on a downward spiral of grades due to mental illness. Money wasn't an issue because she had full tuition covered by scholarship/tuition remission, and college funds were in her name that covered other expenses. We weren't able to convince her to get help and she is not attending that school anymore. But knowing the grades showed us that all was far from well with her. That was something, at least.

[thumper1]

>>The privacy law lets universities give parents the education records of students claimed as dependents on their tax returns>>

This is exactly what they told us at orientation at DS's university.

[banditmag]

College students have the best of both worlds, it is the perfect transition into true adulthood. "I am independent" my butt, I still pay for your room, board, car and health insurance etc.. I, too, believe that as long as I am paying $43,000 a year for your education that I have a right to see your progress. I do trust my child, she has never disappointed me. She did sign the waiver but tells me her grades due to her pride in accomplishments. I guess I wanted her to know that if she starts "socializing" too much and grades fall there will be consequences. I know she plays hard but she also works hard, I have no problem with that.

This is her first year and we have dealt with major medical issues. She is 400+ miles away and hates the privacy laws - her favorite saying lately is "being 18 sucks", glad she realizes that being an adult is not all it is cracked up to be.

[yayverily]

The link to NY Times article doesn't work for me.

Here's what they say on the MIT web site regarding parents' rights to access student records:

"Although parents normally are not entitled to review students’ education records without the students’ consent, appropriate MIT representatives may consult with parents and others in emergencies when health and safety issues so require."

Grades aside, one of the unintended consequences of FERPA is that complete privacy for the student can sometimes result in parents being completely unaware that their child is at risk of harming himself or others. It's reassuring to see that MIT will contact parents in "emergency" situations.

Note that violating FERPA does not have serious consequences for the school--last time I checked into this, they can't be sued by the student, and only run the risk of having their federal funding interrupted if they show a pattern of willful disregard for the provisions of FERPA and ignore letters from FERPA warning them to be more careful.

Here's what is covered by FERPA: "Under FERPA, education records include most tangible materials, including computer records, maintained by MIT that relate directly to an identifiable student currently or formerly enrolled at MIT. These include admissions records, grades, most course work, exams, UROP records, disciplinary records, and financial aid records, as well as gender, nationality, race, ethnicity, and identification photographs. Education records do not include Directory Information, as described below, or those records of Institute faculty and staff members that are made for, and restricted to, their personal use. Other kinds of information, such as medical and law enforcement records, are also excluded from the definition of education records. These are sometimes governed by other laws and/or policies."

[calmom]

Mini, if the grades fall or the kid doesn't complete requisite number of units, they lose their financial aid. A parent keeping track of grades is no different than tracking investments -- if, for example, I invested in rental property, I would want to be able to know if the units were rented and if the tenants were current on their rent. I wouldn't want to simply find out one day that the property was in foreclosure because no one had bothered to tell me that there were a bunch of vacant units and the place was in a state of disrepair.

As far as "trust" -- I will note that you are the father of daughters, not sons. Let me assure you that males are a very different breed than females. Much more likely to get into all sorts of trouble and much less likely to inform or confide in their parents when it happens -- so please don't go lecturing those of us who started by raising sons about "trust". In any case, it's very easy to be all smug about how much you "trust" your kids until the day that you find out that there is a disconnect between what you expect and what is going on in real life. Whether it happens to your or not is much more a matter of luck than trust -- there is no kid who is immune from running into academic problems. I actually think that if the parent insists on direct access to grade reports (either by mail or online), that makes it easier for the student who is struggling, because they don't have to figure out what to say or how to introduce the topic or explain things to their parents.

As I did note, if my kids are adults and paying their own way, then I don't think its any of my business. But when I am paying out more than a quarter of my annual income for tuition and living expenses, then I don't think its inappropriate for me to expect the same documentation that is required by any outside entity offering grant or loan money.

By the way, I'm still making payments on a PLUS loan for my son's college when he didn't even complete courses I was paying for. So yeah, I would have liked to know at the time -- maybe I could have helped him find the support he needed at a time when it would have been useful.

[mini]

"Mini, if the grades fall or the kid doesn't complete requisite number of units, they lose their financial aid. A parent keeping track of grades is no different than tracking investments..."

My relationship with my kids is that I would be the first to know. It just wouldn't be an issue. (with my younger one, I'm always complaining that she tells me far too much, and I tell her so.) And, as I said, and I meant it, I am far more concerned if they are getting easy "A's" than about them failing.

I brought up foster boys as well. One at Princeton (interesting story).

[swimcatsmom]

And of course it is the ones who are struggling grade wise who will be more reluctant to share. I have 2 opposites.

My son, wonderful young man with an incredible work ethic in paid employment whose every employer has kept an open door welcome when he has moved on, not academic at all. Tried college - no scholarships (HS was a struggle because of learning disabilities) and we did not qualify for finaid at the time so we were paying out of pocket (CC as he did not apply for anything else) - did not share his grades which were not brilliant. Would it have made a difference if we had known - probably not.

Our daughter - very academic - excellent scholarships which, added to the finaid we now qualify for, means we are paying little - just books this year. Happy to share her grades with us - though we always know from the deafening silence if she has not done as well as she hoped in an exam. We don't have any leverage with her to make her tell us anything as we are not paying - but she does ask our opinion about classes and such - and sometimes even follows our advice.

[mini]

"And of course it is the ones who are struggling grade wise who will be more reluctant to share."

Not in my house.

[calmom]

My relationship with my kids is that I would be the first to know.

Well, my relationship with my kids is that I have always granted them more independence. I don't expect to know everything about their lives... just the parts I am financing.