A measure of my impending insanity -- the pre-college spreadsheet

[rrah]

Please sign me up for the jmmom "Slacker school." D thought I was a bit over the top with my very simple one page spreadsheet with possible schools and info about each one, (ie overseas study programs, size, merit possibilities, etc.)

[jmmom]

^^ Absolutely, I am in "purge" mode at my house, as we are scaling down. But I will *not* purge "Accept My Kid, Please..." I just won't.

[vballmom]

Wow, owlice, you're organized

For DS1 (HS Junior) I've got a spreadsheet on Google Docs, which I like because he can see it as well as his father (my XH). It's very simple, just a list of colleges that he's interested in, a link to their engineering dept websites, FAFSA/Profile, application start and due dates, visit date, ED/EA, and a checkbox to indicate whether SAT scores have been sent. DS1 and I populated the list of colleges by looking at a variety of search engines (Cal State mentor, Princeton Review, WICHE, etc).

I've also set up some links and checkboxes on backpackit.com, as suggested by a CC member at some point, but I'm finding this less useful so far.

We get zero mail from colleges because my son opted out from the PSAT and SAT mailings. Just as well - he's comfortable reading all of this info online, and paper mail would just go straight to the recycling bin.

So far I haven't seen the need to set up paper files, but might once DS gets into more serious application mode this summer/fall.

Good luck!

[owlice]

On recordkeeping: the school does that for you.

Actually, it doesn't; I had to tell S's GC that S had already passed the high school assessment test for algebra. (S skipped algebra I.) The score wasn't in the school's records. (That has since been fixed.) The school also doesn't have his SAT scores, know what he's done/doing over the summer, nor what distance learning courses he's taken and the grades he received in them, and what ECs he does outside of school, nor when he's done them.

S is a freshman; he picks his own ECs. What he chose this year might not be what he chooses to do when he is older; in fact, the choices he made this year may not even be available to him later in his HS career!

And let's face it: I'm old. I'm unlikely to remember what ECs he did this year unless he continues with them or one of them burned itself into my brain by annoying me!

vballmom, the spreadsheet is organized; me, not so much! Google Docs sounds like a good idea. Alas, it's highly unlikely my exH would look at anything I put on there, so I will probably not use it. ExH is going to be very very surprised when it comes college admission time; he actively resists talking about college financing. I know he will have a little money for S, as the state-mandated child support payments (which are quite low) go into a 529 that he controls for S (my idea), but other than that, I will not count on him for college funding. If he provides some, that'll be great, of course! But count on it... not a good idea.

Your S sounds farther along the college admissions thing than my S, and that makes sense, considering he's a junior! My S isn't interested in any of it, and that's okay with me. He has a couple of years before he needs to gear up to deal with it. We do sometimes talk about the financial aspect of college; he knows how much I will likely have for him for college, but other than that and taking whatever standardized tests are a good idea, nothing. (He also opted out of mailings on his PSAT/SATs. Next one he takes, though, I might suggest he opt in.)

Good luck to your S!

[vballmom]

owlice - my XH is a bit head-in-the-sand as far as college finances are concerned, but we negotiated terms for splitting the cost in our divorce settlement, so he knows he needs to come up with the $$s. I also send him links to finaid.org etc so at least he's got the basics. DS1 has enough in his 529 to easily pay the first 2 years of any college, so that should give XH enough time to fully understand how expensive this will be. I know that in a lot (maybe most) divorces, there's no provision at all for college funding. Sounds like at least you've got a start with your son's 529.

DS2 is a sophomore and has zero interest in talking about colleges. I don't bring him along on visits w/DS1. No point in creating a spreadsheet for him this year either. DS2's friends are starting to think about it though, and since he has been buddies with 2 boys in particular since kindergarten, I'm guessing they'll end up looking at a lot of the same schools just by virtue of their pack mentality.

[mathmom]

I just threw report cards and awards in a school file. The one thing I didn't do and should have was write down the awards for which all he got was a medal. My son kept all the medals hung on his closet door. Three years later we had no idea what green stood for or what event he got it in.

Additionally, I also found that there were a number of awards my son received in class at school, he would stick in some notebook and I never actually saw them. I was cleaning up his room today (tossing high school papers) and discovered one of his National Latin Exams certificates in one, and his ACM scores in another.

[owlice]

vballmom, unfortunately, my state doesn't require any support past age 18, even for college. I had the child support going into a 529 because I know some men come to resent paying child support and I didn't want exH to be one of them. Plus, I figured he wouldn't be putting anything aside for college on his own otherwise. (So far, that appears to be the case.) Another consideration, which I didn't really think about at the time, is how S would feel should his dad not have had anything to offer for college expenses.

ExH isn't a bad guy; he just doesn't plan, nor think much about the future. I send him links, info, articles on rare occasions, and under the terms of our divorce, he's supposed to give me a copy of the yearly 529 statement, but ... I know not to get my expectations up.

[owlice]

mathmom,

I just threw report cards and awards in a school file.

That requires paper organization, and all I can say to that is "AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!"

(Well, one other thing, too: kudos to you for doing it!)

[yayverily]

owl: Great that you're here and that you want to be involved. Those are two big plusses for your S.

Having said that, if you subject the poor kid to too much organization and detail, he may just grow to feel that he has lost all control over his own life. Think of yourself as a guide, and let him make the decisions--what courses to take, what summer programs to attend, etc. Biggest problems in our house occurred when DW tried to push DS into things he just didn't want to do. I think it's one of the laws of teenage physics:

"For every parental push there is an equal and opposite reaction on the part of the teenager"

[owlice]

yayverily, all summer program and course selections are his. As are ECs, unless they are family ECs (such as soup kitchen duty, which we all do together). I might make a suggestion and tell him why I think what I do, but these things are up to him, and I'm happy to support his decisions.

[yayverily]

Excellent! You definitely have taken the right approach. Good luck.

[riverrunner]

I've got your back, owlice. My kid would tell you that my obsessive organization actually KEEPS me from bugging her. When she got around to filling out apps or building her brag sheet, she was oh-so-grateful to simply go to the paper files, or look in the email or docs files for the info she needed.

Don't confuse organizing things with pushing children. They don't necessarily go hand in hand.

[LIMOMOF2]

I think D is also grateful that I started keeping that binder for her. When I told her what I was doing, she looked relieved that her paperwork would be somewhat organized. Now if only I could do the same with my own stuff.

[BAfromBC]

Good for you owlice!

I belong to Obsessive Organizers Not-So-Anonymous too! So what if Microsoft Excel became my "BFF" and CC my "addiction" for several months. My research and industry made my D's application process come senior year a breeze for her.

But I must say that you've got me beat--I didn't set up our "command center" (complete with jam-packed filing cabinet, giant wall calendar for all deadlines and to-do's, bulletin board with color-coded post-it's, etc. etc.) until my D's junior year. (We weren't really even dreaming about college in any tangible way until then though I did keep a record of her academics/EC's/awards, etc. as suggested by her GC.)

Honestly, with a full load of AP's, and in/out of school EC's, and volunteer work, and a part-time job when was she supposed to do all of this research? I don't know how some kids manage all of this completely on their own--it's overwhelming.

When catalogues and emails came pouring in, I began to set up folders for the colleges of interest to her. We had 3 cartons and began sorting by yes, maybe and no. After a few months, she settled on about 3 dozen schools that merited further scrutiny. I set up folders for each of these schools for her. Each folder contained various statistics, comparison admissions data, info about location, housing, food options and student life, any unique things about the school, outcomes for graduates, and print-outs of major requirements, interesting courses, research opportunities and professors' bios for areas of interest to her-- plus financial data and whatever else I found relevant to the school and the process.

By the end of August, before her senior year, she had a place for one-stop-shopping, which also included DVD's I purchased of college tours/info sessions from Collegiate Choice--which helped to remind her of what these places looked like. She used this and advice I gathered from CC members to narrow down her list to about a dozen schools. She's the kind who is interested in everything and got excited by something at every school, so narrowing her list was a chore. It was take it off, put it back on, and take it off again over and over again. She finally settled on schools that best met her top five necessities.

I believe that if I hadn't laid the groundwork for her, she wouldn't have had the time to work on all of those apps and compulsively write and re-write half a dozen essays for the Common App and all the supplemental essays, as well. She had most everything completed by the end of September. She found her senior year even busier than her junior year, so she was relieved to have the app process behind her while most of her classmates were still in agonizing overdrive.

The funny thing is that after all of the research, planning, work and hemming and hawing at the very last moment (and I do mean last--the deadline day for ED apps) she threw caution to the wind and went with her gut and applied ED to the school that, I suppose, gave her butterflies! So, by mid-December she had her happy ending--an acceptance and a financial package enabling her to attend a top LAC.

I don't take credit for that outcome--that was all her--I was more like the executive assistant to the CEO who helped to grease the wheel, so-to-speak!

And frankly, without CC (and the lovely, knowledgeable people who took the time to share their experiences and advise us) we may well have gotten lost along the way.

Best of luck to you and your S (he is lucky to have you on his side) from an unapologetic organizational freak!

[owlice]

BAfromBC, you're hired! See you and your folders in 18 months!!