Is anyone besides me frustrated with the entitlement mentality that seems prevalent

[taxguy]

Maybe I am missing the point and am unduly provincial in my thinking, BUT where does it say in our constitution that everyone has the unconditional right to an expensive private school education?

I keep seeing all of these posts ( throughout CC over the years) about "being poor" and "not being able to afford (select private school or ivy school name)" or " how unfair it is," or " financial aid should be grants and not loans " or my favorite. " I am entitled to send my kids to any school my kids want and should get more than enough aid for it." Also, private schools are just as much to blame when they raise tuition in order to provide "need based scholarships," which University of Richmond did a few years ago.

PLEASE SPARE ME! If you can't afford to send your kids to a private, expensive school, send them to a state school or start off in a junior college. This is what those colleges are for. Plenty of immigrants came to this country and got a terrific education at the City University of New York. They didn't whine, complain, or feel that something was owed them. They made the best with what they got and, as a group, was immensely successful.

Next I'll be seeing complaints about not being able to afford that home in Beverly Hills or being able to afford that nice BMW. How did we get to this entitlement mentality anyway?

[tokenadult]

I am troubled by two forms of entitlement mentality.

1) Feeling that being a good high school student should be rewarded by getting into the college one "earned" admission to. By contrast, I think the reward for being a good high school student is one's high school transcript and diploma. Colleges admit students for their own college-related purposes and reasons, not merely to reward good high school students.

2) Feeling that a good college education should be free of expense to a range of income including incomes at three times the national median. It's great if a college makes a highly affordable offer to a family, and I don't decry anyone of any income applying for financial aid, but if the college's purpose is (as colleges usually state) to make attendance possible for students of a broad range of income, it shouldn't surprise anyone if financial aid dollars are aimed mostly at the students with the most limited means. There are a LOT of low list price colleges (usually subsidized by general taxation, but sometimes subsidized by private endowments) and there are a fair number of colleges that offer "merit aid" (bounties for desirable students). A student who is offered a high out-of-pocket cost at a particular college simply has to decide whether the cost is worth it or not. If the education is that valuable, it's a good investment to pay out of pocket or to borrow to attend that college. If the college is not that valuable, attend some other college.

[owlice]

What tokenadult said. So yes, I'm frustrated with it.

[Northstarmom]

I agree with you all.
Most people in the world don't have any opportunity to go to college. Here in the U.S., there are affordable college options for virtually everyone, including poor people. We all are very fortunate.

[Tuition Dad]

Taxguy – Amen! Lots of things in life come down to money, and college is one of them. Figure out what you can afford and act accordingly. If you can’t afford where you want to go, then move on and adjust your expectations. I understand that a teenager might get his/her hopes up to attend a certain school, but at some point parents need to bring reality to the situation. I too am amazed at times about the comments made by some about how they can’t afford to go to this or that school. I know it is disappointing, but welcome to the real world I guess.

[worknprogress]

Count me in.

I am grateful for any help that is given to my daughter. I see her as our responsibility and if financial support is provided by a school, it is a gift. WE have done nothing to deserve it.

On the other hand, I feel sick when I see how the cost of public institutions has risen. Penn State is now almost 23,000 for in-state students with very little financial aid given. Honors college kids get $3000 towards expenses, a small handful get scholarships.

I know of two families where the income is less than $30,000 and after the grants and loans given, they are still expected to come up with over $11,000. I feel like we have failed those kids. If they are bright and accomplished enough to be accepted at main campus PSU, we should be able to make it affordable for them.

So, yes, I am also frustrated with the sense of entitlement.

[hops_scout]

taxguy, this feeling goes MUCH further than just college. And I agree with you. I believe it has become a problem with college admissions/expenses due to the society on general feeling like everybody should be able to get everything without any work.

[mikasauntie]

I'm wondering if it might not be so much a sense of entitlement as failing to fully comprehend the huge price increases. H and I both worked to pay our way through school. I never expected kids to have to totally pay their own way, but did not realize that our savings were not keeping up til S finally gave me the names of some schools he might be interested in...in October of senior year. Ouch! On top of that, scholarships this year have not matched what recent history led me to expect.

Are my children OWED a place at those schools? NO, but we had to make some big adjustments in perception/expectations in the past several months. And I FELT like we were saving for this all along. (Thanks to the "safety", everyone in the family ended up happy)

Perhaps "entitlement" is really the mixture of emotions many of us have to go through to come to terms with this new reality in our lives.

I've been seeing the same in so many other areas of our life lately - post-wildfire rebuilding hindered by behind-the-times fire insurance (thankfully not our personal issue), long term care for elderly. The same questions of entitlement are bubbling up there as well.

And I SWORE I would never be like my parents and be amazed at the cost of bread or gasoline exceeding childhood prices!

[katliamom]

save your frustrations for the real problems of this world... there have always been and always will be spoiled whiners

[taxguy]

Mikasauntle and Hop_scout, you may be right. I am certainly seeing this entitlement mentality outside of college admissions. Juries are awarding damages regardless of fault because "if there is an injury, someone has to pay." Look at the cigarette suits. Doesn't any juror feel that people who smoked had some responsibility in all this? I remember my mom telling me over 45 years ago that smoking was bad for her yet there are judgments in the hundreds of billions against cigarette companies.

We have a legal theory of agency where an employer is responsible for the acts of their agents or employees. Thus, if an employee goes out and get lunch for the office and negligently drives his/her car killing someone, the employer is responsible! This entitlement mentality is killing this country with debt and bad law suits. Sadly, most of the candidates are running on "big government" platforms,which means a lot more spending. When will this end?

[zoosermom]

I also am tired of the entitlement mentality in many parts of our society and this forum. Nobody is entitled to a top, private college, but people ARE entitled to come to this forum and vent or discuss. I'm also tired of the gotcha mentality that I find sometimes on this forum when people don't toe the party line. In the other thread that taxguy posted, some people were entitled, but some were legitimately frustrated, confused, tired and the judgments were flying on that thread. I almost expected some of the posters on the "wrong" side of the opinion divide to be accused of criminal acts. Yes, there are some people who could use a kick in the rear-end, but but there are people who see posts (from the same posters no less!) that say "if you ran an EFC calculator, you know exactly what you were looking at" and out of the other side of the mouth "individual colleges determine need and there's no way for you to know what they'll do." Which are both true and part of the reason why there is FA fatigue. As I've said, I feel nothing but gratitude for my daughter's situation (and I daresay that it was ALL luck that it worked out so well), but I really think the admission/financial aid fairy should come to my house and choose my younger daughter's college because it's too much for me. I think it's important before joining a pecking party to distinguish between vicious posters, frustrated posters, and people who hold a legitimate difference of opinion.

[owlice]

Ah, taxguy, will have to part company with you on the cig suits; sorry. I think they are well-deserved.

[Christcorp]

Wow; a topic where just about everyone agrees with each other. Especially when many of us disagree with each other on other topics.

Point is; no one has the "RIGHT" to a higher education. You have the right to "ACQUIRE" a higher education. You don't have the RIGHT to property or wealth. You have the right to ACQUIRE property and wealth. That's the basic concept of the United States and our freedoms. Having the right to ACQUIRE. You acquire through hard work and determination.

[pafather]

Thomas Sowell just wrote a few columns regarding the high cost of higher education and how government funding drives up the cost. He proposes financial aid that is essentially all loans (to be paid back as a percentage of future earnings), which would make college students who would potentially receive lots of financial aid think twice before opting for an expensive private education.

Townhall.com::The Economics of College::By Thomas Sowell
Townhall.com::The Economics of College: Part II::By Thomas Sowell
Townhall.com::The Economics of College: Part III::By Thomas Sowell

I agree that the entitlement mentality is pervasive in our society. A hardworking, bright, creative low-income student has no more "right" to a Harvard education than he/she does to a BMW or to a 4000 square foot house.

[CBBBlinker]

Yes, yes, yes -- I agree w/ OP. What drives me nuts are people who don't really save for college and do things like drive the fancy cars, put in a pool, expand their house, etc, etc. -- and then say, "Well, we'll qualify for FA since we have no money."