"Letting Go"

[dbwes]

This book (Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, 4th edition, by Coburn and Treeger) has been recommended many times on CC, but I have just gotten around to reading it. Any parent, particularly of an '08er, would benefit from this -- it really is excellent.

[mountains]

Thanks for the reminder, dbwes. It's been in my amazon cart to buy later - I just clicked to order.

[acme]

dbwes, can you tell us more about it?

[HarrietMWelsch]

I really liked that book! I bought one copy, and passed it to a dear friend, who passed it to a friend, and so on. Had to buy myself another to keep at hand.

Also, particularly for moms of daughters, She's Leaving Home: Letting Go As My Daughter Goes To College, by Connie Jones. While I didn't agree with every single word, so much of this one resonated very deeply. I bought multiple copies to give as gifts to the friends who are mothers of my D's best friends.

[my-3-sons]

The University of Miami sends a copy of "Letting Go" to all incoming parents in the summer.

[bethievt]

It was really helpful to me. I read it well before my son started college and would have re-read if he'd had any issues during his first year, but he hasn't, so I haven't needed to. I thought the authors did a good job of helping parents interpret a child's communications, as in, "When she's saying this, it might really mean that." Or, "When he's asking for this, he might really need this other thing." My son is so straight-forward, we don't need to translate, but my friends with D's seem to need more help with this. Over-generalization, I know.

[runnersmom]

Karen Coburn is terrific. She actually presented the "Letting Go" session for parents at Wash U orientation 3 years ago. Her advice is right on target.

Our experience was a bit of the "I'll be so miserable you'll be happy to see me leave", but I fooled them. Killed them with kindness (and cookies, and favorite dinners and, and , and) and cried when I left them. But watching and listening to them grow up from afar has been as much of a joy as watching the early milestones in their lives. I think I'll go cry again now!

[lindz126]

the book is kind of like cc--covers many areas of the "leaving home---letting go process" including what to expect dropping your child off--when they call home etc. realistic and sensitive to both kids' feelings and needs and parents...

[bugmom]

At the parent meeting at Columbia's orientation, they recommended "Letting Go", so I bought it and read it last summer. It might be time for another perusal to see what sophomore year has in store for me.

[dbwes]

acme -- I think other posters have given you a good idea. They start with a little adolescent psychology, talk about how college has changed since we went -- technology and all that. They then start with the admissions process and take you through all four years, (or so I am guessing -- I haven't finished it yet.)
The underlying theme is the tug-of-war between connectedness and independence. Equal amounts of attention paid to the student's and the parent's emotions.
Another book I took out of the library which maybe doesn't apply to all your high-achieving kids unless they are like mine -- extremely bright but with bad, bad study skills -- is College Rules by two educators at UGA (don't have their names in front of me, I am at work, the book is at home.) Focuses on adjusting to college ACADEMICALLY -- no discussions of roommates or laundry or bank accounts, but about note-taking, smart studying, not falling behind, getting to know profs. Emphasizes that studying in colllege is DIFFERENT and how important it is to get a strong start.
Not sure I can get my kid to read it, though -- I'll try leaving it out somewhere this summer!

[wis75]

Excellent book- someone please bump this thread during the next few months to keep it on the radar for everyone.

[Soames]

I bought the book and wished that I'd done so earlier when my kids went off to prep school; lots of relevant issues which apply just as much.

[cornmuffin]

bump------