I got caught cheating. What should I do?

[ucsd_ucla_dad]

Face it, the teacher already knows you cheated despite your denial. Now the teacher gets to see if you try to lie your way out of it (which won't really work) or if you realize you did a dumb thing, your conscience won't let you keep it hidden, and you'll fess up.

I suggest you try to get to the teacher early, before school starts if possible, and tell her you'd like to speak with her alone for a few minutes. If she's too busy at that time ask her when would be a good time when the two of you can speak alone. When you meet, tell her you feel awful, sorry, and embarrassed, but that you cheated by changing your grade. Be apologetic and let her know that you regretted it the moment you did it and you could hardly wait until you could come tell her of your mistake. Maybe she'll have mercy on you.

[Anona]

I wonder what was the outcome of InDenial's chat with the teacher yesterday morning?

I wonder how many times in the past InDenial did this sort of thing....seems strange that it would have been the first time. Suddenly, out of the blue, a stellar student makes this kind of mistake for the very first time? I don't think so. While it may have been the first time changing a grade, what kinds of cheating went on before that? Of course I also realize we probably won't get a straight answer to that question!

[cptofthehouse]

A lot of kids cheat. Some sit around plotting and planning the cheat, some are spontaneous about it, and there is an overlap in those types as well. The first reaction to have when you are caught cheating or doing any kind of wrong doing is a defensive one, denial and trying to get out of the consequences of the actions. These consequences can be severe, so it is normal that in the interest of self preservation that a person has that reaction.

But more important is the reallization of who you are to cheat, steal, lie. Is this the kind of life you want to have? If you make this your way of life, it is pretty much inevitable that you are going to get caught. Are you prepared for the consequences of that? I think those who are attracted, tempted to cheat with only the fear of getting caught the obstacle, should talk to a counselor about this attitude. I don't know if the feeling can be eradicated, but there may be ways to help succumb to the temptations.

Most people do not want to be known as cheats. Yet they want the edge, benefit, prize that can be obtained by the activity. Somehow a reconciliation of these feelings needs to be met.

[UCLA Band Mom]

It is always better to "fess up" than to dig an even deeper hole by lying.

Here is a similar situation in which students were caught hacking into school computers and changing their grades. The consequences can be extreme if caught.

SignOnSanDiego.com > News > Education -- Official sees 'depravity' in cheating case

May 2, 2008

RANCHO BERNARDO – In an emotional memo to teachers written the day after a cheating scandal was uncovered at Rancho Bernardo High School, an assistant principal revealed details of the investigation and reacted to what he described as the declining morality of some students.
Online: To read the memo, go to uniontrib.com/more/documents

“Our (worst) technological nightmare has just occurred,” Assistant Principal Keith Koelzer wrote. “At this point, we have identified 8 students (with varying degrees of involvement) who hacked into our school network, downloaded several teachers' files on the flash drives, distributed tests to students days before they were administered and altered grades on student transcripts. The eight students are all Advanced Placement students, they are all smart, but they have no wisdom.

“This case is unique in its depth of complexity and depravity.”

Koelzer e-mailed the memo to teachers Saturday, the day after the hacking was revealed. The Poway Unified School District released it yesterday, at the request of The San Diego Union-Tribune, with small portions redacted.

Until now, school officials have released few details about the case.

“On Friday, one student went into incredible detail of his movements in this deceit over the past two months,” Koelzer wrote. “After listening, I turned to his mother and asked, 'What do you think of this kind of morality?' The mother replied, 'I am not a mother anymore.' I asked the same question to the boy's father and he responded, 'This is not the morality of my ancestors.' ”

Koelzer wrote that the pressure to get into a good college “has overly consumed one of our students. He described to his father and me how his transcripts were altered” and how he delivered them to a college. “As the student talked, I watched his father's face and I could see his 18-year dream of his child's UC education disappear.”

The students' names and grade levels have not been disclosed, nor has how the case came to light.



“The stakes cannot be any higher for these students,” Koelzer wrote. “They are staring at expulsion, questioning by police, questioning by our district technicians, a potential lawsuit by the district” and a rescinding of college offers.

In part of his memo, Koelzer reflects on other recent events.

He attended the funeral of a 20-year-old Rancho Bernardo High graduate who died in a suspected drunken-driving crash in Poway three weeks ago.

The father, Koelzer said, asked for everybody in the church younger than 21 to stand. Then he asked all who had not had something to drink in the past two weeks to sit down. Only five did, Koelzer said.

The father had an opportunity to send a message, Koelzer said, “but he blundered as his son lay in a coffin below him. He continued by saying that he has been smoking pot since he was 12 years old and that he will continue to do so. He finished with a muddled message of 'slow down when you've been drinking and driving' and finally that it was 'better to get a DUI.' That's when I left.

“I don't know what all this means . . . this speeding into trees, DUIs . . . debris being thrown in the small quad and now having our trust being violated at our core. . . . I only know that our students need us now more than ever to direct their moral compasses northward.”

After classes yesterday, sophomore John Casillas, 16, questioned whether the comments were valid.

“I beg to differ,” he said. “Everything's OK with this school. Some kids have some problems, but overall, everything's cool.”

A 16-year-old girl said she knows several of the students involved in the cheating. It began in a classroom when one student accessed the school's computer network, she said.

“It was going to be a one-time thing, but they kept getting away with it,” she said. “They thought they wouldn't be caught. . . . The kids that did this were under a lot of pressure to get into a good school.”

[momofnewP]

My number one priority is that this won't go in my record. That is the absolute worst thing that can happen to me. If my teacher reports this to the vice principal, I will most likely me suspended. Although I have yet to talk to her. How should I approach her tomorrow

I fully admit I should deserve any punishment that she chooses to give to me.

Why shouldn't this go on your record? You did it. Then you lied about it. Your teacher trusted you enough to leave you alone in the classroom and you violated his/her trust.

[coolweather]

A 16-year-old girl said she knows several of the students involved in the cheating. It began in a classroom when one student accessed the school's computer network, she said....“It was going to be a one-time thing, but they kept getting away with it,” she said. “

These kids could have been saved from harsh disciplines if the girl student reported to school or told them to stop earlier. I am appalled to see many students on CC saying cheating is normal and should not be business of other people to report.

[paying3tuitions]

Because of utter stupidity, I decided to change my grade. When she came back, she immediately realized that someone has changed my grades.

HOpefully that was a typo. Was it a grade or grades? My point is: whatever you did, when you discuss it with your parents and teacher, take complete and total responsibility for every part of it. Tell one story. Cling to the truth now and you'll survive this bad event.

[In denial...]

UPDATE:

I got off easy. I am suspended for two days. The vice principal said this will not go to my transcript and I am allowed to send teacher recommendations to colleges.

However, I am seriously screwed. I've always thought I had a decent chance at a top 10 college, but this suspension changes everything. How am I ever going to justify this? They will surely never accept me. I'm not even sure if my state college will accept me...

[bleedblue12345]

Past is past....

You made a really stupid mistake, but quite honestly there is nothing you can do about it at this point. Just try your best, life is about having fun, not worrying about what lies ahead in the college admissions game .....

After all, even if you went to a top10 Univ. and a top10 Grad school, what would life be without fun? That's what we all should live for (although obviously dilligence is important.)

[paying3tuitions]

Do some research here. Stop by the counselor's office and ask what exactly is in your record, what words are being written down in the file as reason for your suspension. Don't argue about the wording, just find out what the words will be. Understand how does your school characterize what you did, in their words.

Also, what exactly will be the question these "top l0" schools will ask you? Is there a place to state any suspensions for disciplinary reasons and explain them? If so, during your suspension, give some thought to how you will reply to those questions. But first, look up the actual questions as they appear on the application forms of the actual colleges (on websites). Do they seem to want a sentence, or a paragraph of explanation. Try to align what you'll say with what words the school writes down on your academic record.

You are assuming that you will be punished for honesty on those forms, and that only top l0 schools care about honesty. Not so.

I am just guessing that if you got off "easy" as you say, it is because you have an unblemished record of honesty up to that moment when you lost your mind in that teacher's room. If you live this out as a one-time-only terrible mistake in your high school career, for which you are completely sorry, and can compose a sentence about it that demonstrates it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you might prove to a college that you have figured out the value of academic honesty forever, so would be an acceptable candidate.

Put differently, why would a fourth-tier local college want you, either, if you can't come to grips and express what you think about what just happened this week.

You have done something terribly wrong, but your job now is to reflect on how to learn from it so that it doesn't re-occur in your life in any way, shape or form. You're young and you made a serious mistake. What you learned from that mistake might be more important than your other worries about which college will take you. If you can learn enough and change enough, a good college might still consider you someday. Focus on today, however. Really reflect during your suspension on yourself, and not your admissions prospects in a few years. That's a story that will unfold in its own due course.

[In denial...]

Yes, I feel bad for what I've done. My teacher will not look the same way at me again. My punishment was more lenient because this was a first time offense (for anything) and I accepted full responsibility.


In most college applications, it asks specifically if you were ever "suspended or faced disciplinary action." If you said "yes," you need to write an essay about it. There is no way of getting around that question.

[paying3tuitions]

Okay, so why do you think a college wants to take its time to read your essay explaining things? Maybe they want to see what meaning you derived from that experience. Perhaps, if you're smart enough to think about "top l0 colleges" already, you can spend some suspension time reading some philosophers about honesty and morality, or issues in academic integrity today (google is your friend).

You might also decide you need to give back some time to others as a way of assuaging your guilty feelings, which you could do through some summertime civic works to help clean up your school or community.

You certainly could write a letter to your beloved teacher.

In other words, don't just do your academic work during this suspension. Use the time to dig deeply into what happened, what you think about it, and what acts you can take next to help redeem the broken trust. That's eventually what you might write about to the colleges in that essay.

Apparently, they don't say "If you had a suspension, tear up your application and don't even bother to apply." Evidently, they want to read what you'll have to tell them about it, a few years from now.

What will you say when the time comes about how you responded in the days and weeks following this incident? Your life is a slate; now go write upon it.

[ucsd_ucla_dad]

You might also decide you need to give back some time to others as a way of assuaging your guilty feelings, which you could do through some summertime civic works to help clean up your school or community.

You certainly could write a letter to your beloved teacher.

In Denial:
I was thinking about this before. Since your teacher is no doubt both offended and disappointed by the cheating (but probably heartened by your fessing-up), have you thought of doing something to help her out in class to further demonstrate your regret? Maybe you could offer and see what she says. If you do it now as opposed to while confessing, she won't think you're just grubbing for less punishment - it'll be more sincere.

This assumes you'd want to.

[M's Mom]

Sounds like your school handled this responsibly and you will get past this.

I do want to point out, however, that had you admitted it to the teacher on the spot, the first time she asked, your consequences may have been even less severe. I realize the 'deer in headlights' reaction isn't unusual-but for the future, when you mess up, its better to admit it quickly and make immediate amends. Not only does denial compound the initial fault, but it makes the aggrieved party angry and upset, almost guarantees that they talk to others (call your parents and notify the administration in this case), and often takes the issue of 'consequences' out of their hands. (Our school has a policy of 'zero tolerence' for a number of transgressions, causing teachers to under-report 'events' because they feel the punishment is overkill. They prefer to handle matters privately where possible.)

Once again, lots to think about. You will get past this.

[jasmom]

You have received some wonderful advice. Something like this did happen to a friend of my son. The friend did have more difficulty re: college acceptances than I would have expected (based solely on grades, ECs, SATs) so I suspect it did lower him on many college lists. I think that is understandable. BUT he did eventually get into a good college and as far as I know has fared well there. This one event has affected your life, but it need not define it. Learn and move on. Adjust your college list to include "deeper" safeties than you otherwise would. A lot of amazing students graduate from non top 10 schools.