Some Colleges Allow Co-ed Dorm Rooms

[emeraldkity4]

I would argue that while in those who graduated high school in the mid 70's may have observed that women in general have a broader view of friendship, I haven't seen that as much with teens from this generation. Ive seen both boys and girls raised with a more tolerant and accepting view of what it means to be human not just gay/straight/Chinese/Japanese/Christian/atheist/red-neck/hippie.

[Hunt]

"Hunt, what do you think of the common dorm situation of a gay man rooming with a straight man or a lesbian rooming with a straight woman?"

I don't know what to think of it, but it certainly could be complicated. Look, I'm not claiming that college boys are all crazed rapist sex fiends. However, I do think it's quite common for a girl to think that her relationship with a male friend is entirely platonic, while the male friend does not feel that way at all. I think that this might cause some stresses in a coed room that she did not expect.

[Muffy333]

Do the parents paying the room charges get a say in this progressive arrangement?

[emeraldkity4]

Depends on how much pull you have with your kids I imagine.

[t1388]

Also, if you are going to tell your kids what to do, they may not even tell you that they are going to live in a co-ed room/two room double.

[historymom]

after college in the mid 80s my best guy buddy, another girl friend and I shared an apartment together. When I told my grandma, then in her early 80s, she thought about it for a second or two and then said..."I guess that's OK. It seems to work for Jack and Janet and Chrissy on Three's Company."

There was a time my freshman year when I was in a situation where I couldn't feel comfortable in my single sex room on my single sex floor because my roommate's platonic guy friend had been sexiled from his room and was spending most nights in mine. The awkward lack of privacy thing happens regardless of wether the room is designated co-ed or not.

[Muffy333]

This makes me feel better about my daughter not being able to get into one of those fancy liberal East Coast colleges like Wesleyan or Brown with their coed bedrooms and naked parties...

[CCSurfer]

I (a woman) lived in a single on a male floor for a year of college and it wasn't an issue, and it's hard to see an issue with sharing an aparment, but sharing a room... What happens when non-platonic roommates break up? And when one of them starts seeing someone else? It's difficult even to imagine the drama, let alone how painful this could be without the (former) partners having a private place to retreat.

[PrincessRedHat]

Muffy333 - Hate to disillusion you but this is not a phenomenon for just those "fancy liberal East Coast schools... with their coed bathrooms and naked parties....

[garland]

Muffy, somehow my very modest and personally conservative (though not politically) D got through Wesleyan without being forced into anything she was not comfortable with, though trying out a few experiences that might have made you (or me) uncomfortable.

Sometimes those liberal east-coast colleges are the most accepting and least-peer-pressure places around. That's what my D found.

[wis75]

OK, women- do you care if your male roommate knows when you have your period because of the tampons or other issues? Do you care if someone of the opposite sex sees your underwear on your bed, not you? Sharing an apt or suite is not the same as a bedroom. I suspect only a few people can deal with all issues. I also bet no one would take a random roommate of the opposite gender.

[garland]

Well, of course no one would--and I don't know any school that offers that.

I don't think that posts here are to say what I or anyone else here prefers, but to concur that it's a good choice for some, and not necessarily the end of the world as we know it.

[historymom]

wis75 No one is advocating that colleges randomly assign co-ed roommates. Nowhere are they imposing coed living situations upon kids.

And no. While I wouldn't necessarily want to share a room with a guy it wouldn't bother be if he knew I was having my period. I don't quite get your underwear question but my hypothetical male roommate seeing my underwear wouldn't put me over the edge either.

[Weskid]

What happens when non-platonic roommates break up? And when one of them starts seeing someone else? It's difficult even to imagine the drama, let alone how painful this could be without the (former) partners having a private place to retreat.

This is exactly why schools discourage non-platonic roommates. It's a BAD idea...but that doesn't mean co-ed rooms are always a bad idea, just couples living together. As I said, some people do it anyway, and the school doesn't police it, but most people think it's a bad idea (I certainly wasn't going to share a room with my BF). Those couples that do do it are aware of the risks, and normally have some sort of backup plan (though not always a good one).

OK, women- do you care if your male roommate knows when you have your period because of the tampons or other issues? Do you care if someone of the opposite sex sees your underwear on your bed, not you?

Here's the thing, I half moved into my boyfriend’s room last year while he had another male roommate (who is also one of my best friends). These things did not bother me at all. Sure, they'd bother some people, but as people have said, schools are not forcing ANYONE into a co-ed situation. It's totally optional. And sure, maybe people won't think of everything when choosing an opposite sex roommate, but they don't always think of everything when they chose a same sex roommate...sometimes best friends end up hating each other because they didn't realize how bad their different sleep schedules would make living together, etc. I don’t really see how that’s different. Sharing a space with another person often leads to some conflict, and although the type of conflict might sometimes be different with co-ed vs. same sex roommates, I don’t think it’s necessarily worse in either case.

[cptofthehouse]

I always think of that coed bathroom scene in that Tom Wolfe novel about a young girl's experience at a Duke like university. There may be certain people that do fine sharing a room with the opposite sex, but if sex is completely removed as a defining factor in assigning roommates, I think there will be quite a bit more incompatibility than there is now. Picking a person as a roommate who is of the opposite sex and it works, is one thing. Assigning is a whole other thing.