Gifted/ADD?/now what...

[missypie]

When my son's meds wear off in the evening, everyone in the family can tell. He monologues without ceasing. If he does that to a college room mate, I fear the room mate will strangle him after a few months and it will be deemed justifiable homicide. (Only partly kidding-I worry about room mate issues. What is he going to do when he safe spot - home - is a dorm room with a person there who is not his mother?)

[lindz126]

cpt--what specifically are you scared of with vyvanse--my daughter was on adderall xr as you emerald and it worked well for her--but wore off early--her psychiatrist suggested this change just a couple months back as she is a junior and has real need to stay focused til later in the day and I was informed Vyvanse was designed to do this. (I had my daughter checked out by a cardiologist prior to starting any meds as I was concerned about issues with stimulants and the heart--they are now recommending this across the board as kids can have an underlying heart condition and w the meds it would be dangerous) I have talked w my daughter about meds and drinking etc. she at this point is open with me and her maturing has helped her see some of her unique needs. I agree w all--our kids need addl support and monitoring as they step out on their own...

[cptofthehouse]

LIndz, as your daughter is under doctor's care, and I am sure you know all of the side effects of the med, it is fine that she is taking it. What more can anyone do than due vigilance which is going to an expert about this which you have done. You know the side effects of the drug and the interactions that it can have. It is not one to play with. There is a huge problem with young people sharing these meds. This is one NOT to share. I think that by having your D checked by a card is a huge deterrernt in her giving her meds to others who will want it. Many kids have no idea what this stimulants can do. I know of two healthy kids who died of heart attacks in the last year. No more info given, and I'm not asking the parents. I, and others suspect drugs were involved. The kids had no known heart issues, and none were brought up after the deaths. There are some meds that can cause some real problems when mixed.

You see ritalin for all of its bad press, has been around and studied up the whazoo. Some of this new stuff, we really don't know how it's going to pan out.

Missypie, if you send your son off to school, you might want a custom picked roommate. Maybe one interested in the field of disabilities, meds, etc. Maybe even a grad student or med student rather than an undergrad. Maybe you can give him some payment to help monitor your son. I think an arrangement like that will be a lot safer than throwing him into the room lottery. These kids have a lot they are dealing with. It would be difficult to find a kid that can help or even tolerate your son. Many freshmen who are "normal" have adjustment problems, and any aberration is an issue to them.

[cmbmom]

I would strongly suggest that any parent of an ADD child and the child visit the Learning Services Dept on Accepted Students day or any day after acceptance. They can be a great help but only if they are asked. Upon meeting my daughter, the director told her, " I am your new best friend." And she has been. The amount of service and advice given has truly amazed me. I know it is her job but I feel she goes the extra mile as long as the student is willing to go that mile with her. Our daughter thought about tranferring for next year (for non academic reasons) and has decided to stay where she is -I know this woman and her dept were factors considered in her decision.

[Momwaitingfornew]

We went through this, more or less, starting in kindergarten. My D' s teachers wanted her tested, wanted her on meds, because she couldn't sit still, didn't want to leave tasks once started, couldn't sustain eye contact, day-dreamed, etc. We had her tested by the child study team. The result was that she was probably ADD, with another LD, that we could confirm with more extensive testing. However, the psychologist who delivered the news said that D was already compensating for it by performing well academically, so that medication and/or LD coping instruction wouldn't have much benefit. He stressed that medication should be used only by those who had real trouble socially, behaviorally, and/or academically. (This was backed up by her pediatrician, who independently came to the same conclusion.)

The short story? I spent much time with her helping her organizational skills, demanding that she maintain eye contact, and talking to her about what her body language conveyed to others. Now she's not only at a top LAC in a tough academic major, but she has an incredibly high GPA. It hasn't been easy, but she obviously has learned the skills to overcome her problems. Last semester, she was more thrilled that two professors remarked about her neatness (!) and commendable organizational skills (!!) than she was with her perfect grades.

There are varying degrees of ADD and ADHD. Some people with these disorders cannot function well without medication, but others--those who are borderline--can be taught to cope. My father is obviously ADHD, much more so than my daughter, yet he became a CEO, all without meds. It all depends on how severe the disorder is. The OP's son is old enough to be able to decide whether medication makes life more bearable or worse.

[missypie]

It's probably best to be the CEO if you're ADD...you can make best use of your strengths and hire people to fill in for your weaknesses. I was just talking to a guy a couple of weeks ago...the big boss is very ADD...makes impulsive decisions-some brilliant, some potentially disasterous...the guy I was talking to had been hired to be the guy to fix the potentially disasterous acquisitions.

[mom60]

Missypie- I think you are on to something. I know quite a few extremely successful men who are ADD. They are not afraid to take risks. Also they are sometimes able to see a bigger picture then others. Seeing possiblities for success where others do not. But the risks are also there.

[3xcharmed]

missypie, not-to-worry, your son's med will probably wear off just about the time everyone is getting back to the dorms, its down time for lot of kids and noisy. Plus, alot of maturity happens those first couple months of school - you will probably be surprised at how well he does in that respect. I was actually pleased the way my ADD child adapted to college life. I think perhaps some of the social isolation she experienced as a child helped her to feel comfortable on her own. But she had a difficult time with the academics (and has since transfered). We made a few mistakes; she took too many credits her first semsester, she now makes sure she limits them to 12 (or the amount you need to take to be considered full time or progressing towards a degree), she takes only one intensive reading or writing course a semester, and no classes after 3pm (when meds are beginning to wear off). Also, if your child gets into trouble academically be sure they know they can come to you for help and guidance before entering the death spiral. As a freshman they may not understand a schools probation system (or be embarrased to bring it up to friends), how to drop a class, or the pass/fail options. And truthfully, while alot of college resource programs sound good on paper - I haven't heard of many that really are.