Anxiety Is Beginning To Set In! - Page 2

ucsd_ucla_dad · 06-21-2008, 10:43 PM

Similar to NSM, I replaced my D with a dog.

Karen Colleges · 06-23-2008, 04:35 AM

Oh, one more tip. If you can swing it, DO go to parents weekend. It was a huge relief to meet some of S's friends, have him tell me about his schedule and classes, etc. I appreciated having some familiarity with his life.

orchestramom · 06-23-2008, 07:44 AM

During the most intense stage of the applications (late last fall) I got to fretting about this as well, and realized it was an opportunity to do something for me. So I decided to be "open to possibility" around New Year's (no resolution, too old for that

) and lo and behold, found myself with an amazing new job opportunity! It's been incredibly exciting and re-energizing -- and defintely taking my mind off the impending empty nest....

Chedva · 06-23-2008, 09:25 AM

This was printed in "Annie's Mailbox" today:

Quote:

Hold Fast the Summer by Mary W. Abel
Hold fast the summer.
It is the beauty of the day and all it contains.
The laughter and work and finally the sleep.
The quiet.
Oh September, do not put your weight upon my mind.
For I know he will be going.
This son of mine who is now a man — he must go.
Time will lace my thoughts with joyous years.
The walls will echo his "Hello."
His caring will be around each corner.
His tears will be tucked into our memory book.
Life calls him beyond our reach — to different walls.
New faces, shiny halls, shy smiles, many places.
Greater learning — he must go.
But wait, before he leaves, be sure he knows you love him.
Hide the lump in your throat as you hug him.
He will soon be home again — but he will be different.
The little boy will have disappeared.
How I wished I could take September and shake it, for it came too soon.
I must look to the beauty of each new day, and silently give thanks.

I sent my only child 6 hours away last year. It was hard, but I just kept reminding myself that this is what I had worked so hard for and wished so hard for - to have a beautiful, self-reliant young woman to send out into the world. She loves it, she has thrived, and she has grown. It's hard to realize that she now has a part of her life that doesn't include me, but I remember that part of her life does include me. And when she calls with questions or problems that only Mom can solve - well, those moments are priceless.

Good luck to all who are facing this for the first time.

rodney · 06-23-2008, 10:20 AM

My D1 has been breaking away for 4 years now.....She communicates very little about her life outside of academics, and like others on this board is very argumentative about everything...and has been all year....If this is preparation for her going away, I believe she took it a little too far......

That being said, if it makes it easier for us to let go of her in August, I guess the hell of the last year was worth it????

Youdon'tsay · 06-23-2008, 10:50 AM

Oh, Chedva, that made me cry -- and my older child is only a HS junior!

MidwestMom2Kids_ · 06-23-2008, 11:27 AM

I was just telling my daughter who just graduated how I envied two of her friends' parents - their kids will be living in dorms. but in town. Close enough for an occasional weekend home and a hug. This is my first child heading off to college and it is overwhelming at times.

Trying to just think of the logistics of my daughter's move out of state.

Georgia30720 · 06-24-2008, 12:34 AM

My S is soooo excited about going off to college, and we really like the school, so at the moment I'm not upset at all (although we will miss him)...but his grandparents!!!! We have lived in the same little town with my in-laws for 20 years, and understandably they are very close to their grandchildren. They took it upon themselves to go check out his school this week, which is about 7 hours away by car. And then my husband gets a phone call from his mother this evening, asking why did we choose this school, it's so far away, isn't there anywhere else he could go, etc...she'd already been crying for five hours as they headed home.

They're upset because it's so far they can't visit him easily, but he's already told them this his where he wants to be (and it's an improvement over his 1st choice, which is 10 hours away by car). I dread the next several months as they get adjusted to this change in all our lives. I just don't want them making my S upset. Any advice?

Karen Colleges · 06-24-2008, 01:57 AM

Wow Georgia! Very few of us are lucky enough to live in the same town as family. I can see how that is going to be a huge change. (Yes, I am envious of your situation.)

I don't suppose it would help to mention to the grandparents that even if your S was going to school closer to home, he will be BUSY. I wouldn't want my child to think that he had to come home every weekend to visit family, as he'd miss so much of the college experience.

Would it help to give Grandmother a calendar with S's planned home visits on it? Something for her to look forward to?

Georgia30720 · 06-24-2008, 01:40 PM

The school holds a "family weekend" in September, but depending on what other school activities my younger son has going on at that time, I don't know that it's a possibility for us. There is an October break where I expect S1 will come home.

All the grandchildren live here, and my S is the oldest and first to go off to college...they are just having a really hard time with that.

Chedva · 06-24-2008, 01:42 PM

Would the "family weekend" be possible for your in-laws if you can't make it?

Can you enlist your S in this, and have him reassure them that he will call them perhaps once a week?

Trifrosh · 06-24-2008, 08:12 PM

Our triplets are all heading to different colleges this fall. The closest will 2.5 hours away by plane. I am dreading the silence already!

froghorn · 06-25-2008, 07:26 PM

My parents got this book "Letting Go: A Guide to the College Years"; it appears to have really helped them...

cathyss · 07-11-2008, 12:41 PM

My only child is starting her senior year of high school this fall. She has already picked a college which is a 13 hour drive away!! I am so proud of her but am already looking for ways to cope!

MiamiDAP · 07-11-2008, 01:52 PM

The way to cope for me was finding brand new and very exciting hobby that filled my time after work. Otherwise, I started feeling useless, restless,.......and was afraid for more serious problem like depression. And this was second time around!