How much cash for incidentals?

[thumper1]

OK...wild guess...the Boston kid earned about $50a week. So I'm guessing he spent about that much on average. Some weeks were less expensive and some were moreso. His major entertainment (concerts at the BSO) was free as he worked for the BSO as an usher.

DD earns about $60 a week at her part time job. She hasn't touched her summer earnings so that must be enough for her to enjoy herself in an expensive CA area.

Both are pretty thrifty and are careful how they spend their money.

Neither of my kids buys clothing or eats at expensive bistros. They also both took heavy advantage of student discounts offered by their schools as well as activities sponsored on campus (plentiful in both places).

[curious14]

Thumper, thanks.

I am also interested in the group's collective wisdom on the issue or whether these expenses will tend to increase or decrease over time.

[bessie]

I would say that a large urban area would cost about 75.00 per week, although we gave our son more than that. Depends on what they do in the city, how many concerts they attend (big $$ item for our son), how often they eat out, what activities they do, etc. Although I deeply inspired by the parents on this board who expect their kids to pay everything beyond tuition & room & board, I paid/am paying for everything their frosh year and then cut back as they get older. I remember asking friends about this and it differed wildly. I think some were embarrassed about the amount they gave (whether too much or too little), but generally most people I know said their kids needed between 400.00 on the low side to 1200.00 on the high side, which is wretched excess, I know! That is FAR above what I read in a thread here in 2006, but seems to be enough to cover everything and leave them with money in their account to splurge on a date, event, clothing, or whatever without calling home for money. They can get by on far less, but the minimum I would suggest is 200.00 per month. Those are "dorm" prices. When they get their own apartment and have to pay utilities, cable, and other things, the expenses go up. Frats and Sororities can cost a lot so make sur eyou take the dues and activities into consideration. As one who "started high" and then had to cut back, I would suggest starting lower and then seeing if your kid actually NEEDS the extra dough. College kids can be very resourceful.

[bethievt]

My son spends far less than this in IA on a campus where almost every activity is free--AND where there is almost nothing to do off-campus. He refuses to spend money for off-campus food when he's already paying for the food service. No need for nice clothes there--it would be silly. They go to consignment shops for their cross-dressing ball costumes. I'd say $50 per month tops.

[thumper1]

>>When they get their own apartment and have to pay utilities, cable, and other things, the expenses go up.>>

In some situations, this may be true. We told out kids what the monthly expenditure for on-campus housing was costing us (we paid tuition/room/board). The kids had to show us that living off campus wasn't going to cost us more than living on campus. In both cases (those expensive urban areas) they were able to do so.

It is our family's decision to have the kids pay for their own discretionary spending. BUT in my opinion, that is a family decision. Some families are comfortable contributing towards these expenses and others are not. I honestly do not think there is a right or wrong here.

I will say...my kids are MUCH more careful spending money THEY earn, than they are spending money that *I* earn and send them. At the same time, my kids also enjoy working and having the control over their spending money.

[curious14]

We want to be generous but not excessive. Our daughter earned a substantial merit scholarship, so we feel we can and should be generous in providing additional support. She will be working this summer to pay for the cost of taking a car to campus, but we don't really want her to work during the school year. We expect her to pay for clothes, entertainment, eating out, (pretty much everything) out of the monthly allowance.

[thumper1]

Curious...if she's going to be paying for her car expenses, you will really need to adjust to much more than my kids spend. I just put 1/2 a tank of gas in my car yesterday and it was $38. If you are including the cost of parking the car, and any other car expenses, the price will be high. Also, when you say "clothing" you'll need to talk to your daughter regarding what that means. Does it mean a formal for the dance (some schools have those) at several hundred dollars, or does it mean occasional replenishing of something essential? Also you will need to get an idea of what she views as "entertainment". A Bruce Springsteen concert ticket can cost several hundred dollars, while the school coffeehouse might be free.

[curious14]

She is planning on earning enough this summer to cover all of the expenses of taking the car to campus, so I am not including those expenses. For the rest of it I think the answer is some of all of the above. Some expensive clothes, some cheap, some expensive entertainment, some cheap.

[thumper1]

Curious...why not discuss a "budget" with your daughter? The two of you can set an amount that is a reasonable compromise (unless by some miracle you happen to agree). Then DD would have to make her own decisions on how she was going to spend the money you allocate to her monthly. Otherwise, it may seem like you are a bottomless pit that she can draw upon when needed.

Something tells me your family will be able to do this budgeting easily.

[hikids]

I am thinking of around $250, for college in the northeast that is near but not in major cities (but the area [town] is expensive). This is an estimate based in part on what the school thinks the student should earn in the summer to cover such stuff $2,500. Which is what D will earn this summer. If they're correct this could be a little low and the $300 above may be more appropriate.

[emeraldkity4]

I am always amused by parents who live in horror that their child be denied or miss out on anything. Young adults are old enough to plan for and earn money for their own expenses.
I realize that many parents are footing the bill for college, and room and board as well, but how long are you going to give them an allowance?

[FLVADAD]

We gave D about $400 per month, but she didn't need that much IMO. I gave her more than I felt she needed but justified it because we didn't have to pay tuition or room and board. In retrospect, I think it only contributed to her wastefulness.

[curious14]

emeraldkity,

Do you have a point you would like to make? I, for one, have no idea what you are trying to say.

[dragonmom]

I think ek is commenting on someone on the last page....

I agree with Thumper on this one. Kids seem to value "their" money much more highly than they value "my" money. We pay for what's required - including books and cell phone. Beyond that they used what they earned during vacations. Middle kid spends more freely so she had school-year jobs also.
If they are earning it themselves then how it's spent doesn't become an issue between kid and parents.
Fortunately the one still in college goes to school in a *very* inexpensive area. Unless you want to hit a gourmet restaurant or are old enough to visit the wineries, there just isn't much to spend money on. Even lift tickets are cheap - of course the ski area is small and quirky.

[huguenot]

I burned through about $300 a month in the early 80s, but I was incredibly wasteful. As soon as I started earning it myself, suddenly it seemed much more reasonable to eat the food I was already paying for, than to order a pizza.