I need some guidance about the racism I'm encountering in college

[Dlp108]

Ok, I'm orginally from Florida. I came to Kansas State University because I wanted to explore something other then the state I've been living in for the last 12 years of my life. I like it here, I have involved myself in leadership position (Association of residence halls campus issues coordinator) and work at the front desk of my resident hall. Though I am kind of enjoying it here, the disadvantages are slowly beginning to weigh out the advantages.

The major thing here is that I stick out like a sore thumb (I'm African-American&Hispanic) like some people say I'm a minority, minority. Here some people come from small farm towns where they are accustomed to not having any type of diversity. When they come here, they are hestiate to engage in conversations or acknowledge anyone who isn't like the exist. At some point in the beginning of the semester, these two girls on my floor would yell "I [obscenity] hate Nig---s", they once even went up to another student on our floor with a MLK shirt on and said "hey, you have a n----r on your shirt". There is alot of ignorance going on at this school and I know think I am strong enought to take it.

In the beginning of the semester, I felt so out of place that I went into depression. Especially after my Biology partner didn't want to work with me because I was black. It isn't an assumption, she said that she came from the KKK capital of the midwest and that all she hears on TV is "Black male involved in drive by" or "black female that and this" so she has this prenotion that all black people are the same and their from kansas city cause thats where all the crime is. I told her off and told her that I'm not from kansas city, I'm from Florida and maybe she should stop generalizing people in the little world of hers and wake up.

I'm just tired of standing out, I dont feel that a school that needs more diversity programs then any other school and diversity mandatory classes is a good school to attend being a minority.

I'm tired of wondering what people are thinking when I walk into a room, Im tried of trying to proof people wrong. I soo tired of people thinking I'm nothing just because of the color of my skin.

On top of all that, I'm having financial issues. I am paying for my own education because my mom doesn't want involvement. So I have to pay out of state (which is actually cheaper for me to go in state in florida) with loans and any other type of financial aid they want to give me. I am currently 2,000 in debt and they have a hold on my account. Going home for the summer is not an option so I have to stay here unless I decide to get a sublease for the summer in florida and attend community college while I work to make enough money to pay off the debt here so I can enroll for fall semester. I don't know, I'm making my self sick worried because I dont know what to do. I dont have the guidance of a parent to tell me what I should do. I dont have any adult figures in my life to guide me in the right direction. I just really need advise, really.


If your a student and your reading this (this comes from the bottom of my heart) be thankful for your parents support. I see kids with thier parents moviing out thier stuff and I wish I was them for just a second. My mom will fly to las vegas for a weekend every month to gamble but she will not come visit her daughter at college. I'm her first college graduate (I'm the youngest of three kids) I'm the 4th person in my entire family to graduate high school and 2nd to even attend college.

Be very thankful, your parents dont have to pay for anything after your 18 but they want whats best for you and do. They care, dont blow them off, dont get mad because they suggested for you to take a certain class or because daddy won;t give you 600 dollars to get a new prada purse. Be real, be happy with what you have. There are people out there who would kill to just have the support of a parent. Your lucky!



And no this is not a hoax, I have a couple people who know my situation and know what its like here that can confirm my story.

[jmmom]

Dlp, I am glad you came here as I know there will be many parents who will want to help you sort things out and be the sounding board you are really needing right now.

Congratulations to you on all of the steps you have taken to explore, move forward, step out of your comfort zone. What an accomplishment to choose a new state, be the first in your nuclear family (and one of the few in your extended family) to attend college.

It seems like some things have gone well for you where you are. But I can certainly hear the frustrations and worries.

I'm not sure I understand the financial aspects fully. Do I hear correctly that you could go to school in Florida at in-state rates and therefore much more cheaply? I'm also not sure what you mean by "hold" on your account.

Is there a school or schools in Florida that appeals to you academically and where you will feel more in the main stream of things?

Hang in there. We will help you sort this out.

[Dlp108]

Its cheaper for me to get out of state tution here then it is to get instate at like Florida State. KSU is fairly cheap but for me doing it all on my own its not the easy

[marite]

I'm very sorry to hear of all your troubles. You seem to have managed to hold your own despite both financial and social concerns. How have done academically? Are you considering transferring? There might be some other colleges where you could apply and where there would be more diversity and you would not feel so marginalized.
If you wish to stay, can you approach a dean and discuss with him or her your situation? Both the social issues and your financial situation? I'm sure members of the faculty and administration would be horrified to hear the kind of things that have been said to your face. They might not be able to stop all the perpetrators from holding such thoughts but they might have some advice on how to cope. Do also explore the possibility of getting financial aid beyond whatever you are receiving (if you are receiving any); and if not, make sure you apply. Good luck!

[marite]

I'm going to bump this up to get more attention. You should also post on the Parents Forum where parents are more focused on college related issues than in the Cafe.

[Northstarmom]

Do you not qualify for Bright Futures in Florida? If so, that should make your in state tuition lower than at KSU.

Another option would be to return to Fla. and go to a community college, making sure you take coursework that would allow you to transfer to a 4-year in state university. Some Fla. publics including FAMU offer scholarships to top transfers from in-state community colleges.

Surely there's some place that you could transfer to that you could afford and where you wouldn't have to deal with the kind of racism you're coping with now.

If you choose to stay at KSU, I suggest that you join a diversity or similar organization, and also talk to whomever is in charge of minority students/diversity programs on campus. Probably community service organizations also will attract open minded, supportive students.

Do not feel that you're the only student experiencing such difficulties. Unfortunately, even in this day and age, such difficulties aren't unusual at colleges and universities that attract students from areas that don't have minorities. I know a young woman who transferred out of Michigan State U. for reasons similar to what you're experiencing at KSU. She was black, high achieving, sophisticated, from Detroit, had lots of friends of all races. Her assigned roommates were white from rural, overwhelmingly white places, and those roommates were scared of her and basically forced her to move out. She eventually transferred to a public university in Detroit.

[kathiep]

Dip, I feel so badly for the racism that you have experienced. Have you made any good friends to talk to just so you don't feel so alienated? You are so brave to go so far from home without the support of your family.

From reading your post, I understand that you are paying for college, "with loans and any other type of financial aid they want to give me". But somehow you have come up $2,000 short. Is that because you were expecting a higher amount from a work study job? This summer do you need to make that $2,000 plus a few thousand more to keep you out of debt for the upcoming school year?

You made an awfully nice pitch to the students that pop in on this forum to appreciate their folks. At the same time, I wish you could get a hold of the rude parents of the students from KSU and chastise them. My daughter went to a HS that was about 95% white but went to a pretty diverse college. I didn't know that couple of her closest friends were black until I met them because she never mentioned the color of their skin- it wasn't important. Something is wrong in households where children are taught it's okay to fear and/or be rude to people that are different then you.

[Nester]

Dlp -- I am so sorry to hear what you've been going through. You've gotten some really good suggestions above, and I'm wondering also if there is professor or dean of color with whom you could talk frankly about what you've been experiencing. I also think that the RA's in your dorm, who I would hope would have some diversity training and would be decent human beings, should know that their charges are yelling the "n" word at fellow-students on their watch. This is not an environment any human being should have to put up with -- not at KSU, not anywhere.

[Northstarmom]

Also, what you're experiencing is not normal or expected for minorities to experience in college, including in colleges that are overwhelmingly white.

Don't feel that you have to endure the situation because that's the way college is. Most colleges don't have the kind of problems that you're describing.

I honestly can't think of any reason for you to stay in the kind of environment that you're describing. I believe that you can find more welcoming environments that also are affordable including in your home state.

[siliconvalleymom]

I feel really sad reading this...it just shouldn't happen, for many reasons. What kind of support can you get from KSU? It sounds like you need more financial aid than you are getting and it sounds like you need some emotional support.
Is it too late to consider your transfer options? You just don't sound happy.
If you do stay, I wonder if it would help to register in the fall for your lab classes with a friend.

[Godsend]

Go public.

And leave that piece of crap university.

[kristin5792]

If you are miserable, there's nothing at all wrong with throwing in the K-State towel and going somewhere else. You are doing amazing things, notably by continuing on with school even though it's more difficult than I could ever imagine, and with a drive like yours you are bound to succeed. Just think about it--if you've done this well somewhere that totally sucks, imagine going somewhere that DOESN'T totally suck.

If you want to stay at K-State, find some way to make it work for you. Do you know any black professors that could help you navigate the school system? Administrators? RAs? Do you have any type of diversity office? If you don't have a diversity (in the race sense) office, you could try your LGBT resource center. At Mizzou, the LGBT center is used by heterosexual people more than LGBT people and those that work there really know how to deal with oppression, depression, and crappy situations in general. You could also try your academic advisors and counseling center. They are there to help you succeed--no one wants to see you fail!

Maybe there's a non-Panhellenic or historically black sorority you could join to increase your peer group? How about something in your major? Sports? A job off campus? Volunteering at a local school? Creating a dance team?

Most importantly, don't give up. You've come waaaaayyy too far to give up now if you want to stay at K-State.

If you've given it your all and gotten nothing in return and can't deal with the racism you're facing (who could blame you, it sounds miserable) then I would seriously look into switching schools. Could you transfer to KU and keep the same type of aid? Sometimes if the schools are in the same system it's easier to transfer, but KU may be more expensive. What's your major? If you're really thinking about switching and want to stay in the midwest, you should take a good look at Mizzou. While I personally have few friends that are black, I see many black kids on campus all the time. We have scholarship programs designed especially for minorities and have a black culture center that holds lots of cool events. Otherwise, maybe a predominantly black college or university would be a good option for you too. You could have better luck finding merit aid or better rates for your student loans by going there.

Bottom line: fight fight fight. Find someone--anyone!--to be on your side and work with you. Teacher, mentor, friend, boss, the list goes on. Decide where you're going to go next year, set some goals, and make them happen.

You can do it.

All the best,
Kristin

[g_han]

I'm sorry to hear this also, I experienced something like this from one lab partner, but in more of a subtle fashion rather than being told his actions were obvious. Every lab he would do everything with our other partner and would never tell me anything nor include me. Even talking just to say hi he looked angry as if I was the devil on earth. What made things better were the friends I had already made and just ignored him when I saw him in the building. You will find someone regardless of color, ethnicity, race, etc... that you'll be comfortable and be able to confide your feelings to. Once then that will make a world's difference as you see that it's only this or that person that is a certain way. You'll be fine, don't give up. Find a friend and remember what you first went there for. School, to succeed, and have a better life than you went in with. Use this experience as a driving force to prove you are more than what you can even imagine. Good luck, best of wishes.

[ysk1]

Wow, I feel really sorry for you. You must be going through really hard times. But unfortunately I don't know how to help you, other than just pray for you. I hope that others will be able to give you great advice.

[hifi]

google african american kansas state university.
maybe you could talk to someone from the Moore Hall Diversity Team.