D wants to enlist in the military - help!

[RacinReaver]

You might want to try talking to her JROTC leader and seeing if they'd try to push your daughter in a traditional ROTC or military academy direction. She might realize the benefits of doing ROTC (college paid for, entering the military at a higher level, and those sorts of things) are worth the time in school. My friend went through Naval ROTC and went on two trips over his summers. One was on a nuclear sub in Europe, where he got to see Italy, France, and Norway, and the other was spending time at a port somewhere in the South. He's currently in training to become an engineer on a nuclear sub, and last I heard, loves what he's doing.

[latetoschool]

Califa, I don't think you're unpatriotic, just very understandably scared. Everyone who said she may change her mind a lot over the next year or two is right - especially when everyone else gets to talking about college; surely this is bound to peak her curiousity.

I have heard two different schools of thought regarding entering the service with (and therefore at officer status) vs. without a degree - one being that it's always better to go in as an officer; the other being that it is hard to hold command over enlisted personnel if the officer didn't come through the ranks like everyone else, so it is better to enter as enlisted. I have no idea which of those opinions may be correct, if either of them are - perhaps it doesn't matter.

I do know this - the military is changing in how it executes warcraft, and there are many very interesting cutting edge technologies in play; there are learning opportunities that will morph into skill sets that will transfer very profitably into the private sector.

If it were me, I'd back off for a while, and simultaneously educate myself about the career opportunities available to her. If you put some distance in it, it will give her some breathing room and perhaps make it "o.k." for her to explore other options.

[NewHope33]

Califa - I feel your pain. Still, you have two years before your D can make her decision final. Use that time well. If she decides to enlist, at least you will know that she's been prepared for the challenge. Good luck.

[MidwestMom2Kids_]

You might want to try talking to her JROTC leader and seeing if they'd try to push your daughter in a traditional ROTC or military academy direction. She might realize the benefits of doing ROTC (college paid for, entering the military at a higher level, and those sorts of things) are worth the time in school.

This is good advice.

Also, if your family happens to be eligible, you might see if she is interested in the CIA scholarship. A great way to finish school and serve your country, and working for the CIA sounds fascinating to a many of us. It requires financial need.
https://www.cia.gov/careers/jobs/vie...p-program.html

[1sokkermom]

S graduated from college on May 11. He leaves for his final ROTC training on Monday. He will be commissioned as an officer in the army on July 5. He made the decision to serve his country for a few years before he goes to grad school. (He didn't make that decision until the end of his sophomore year in college when he joined ROTC.)

As a Mom, I am very nervous about his decision. However, he seems very proud, and seems to have decided to do this for the right reasons.

I can understand completely the anxiety that the OP is going through. (I don't have to worry about this decision for my D. She has a chronic illness that disqualifies her. I am not sure which child gives us more grey hair from worry......)

Good luck to you califa. Everything will work out.

[raimius]

Your concern is understandable. I would recommend that you both do some extensive research on the Marines and jobs/careers in the military. The more you know, the better. You said you were in a heavily military area? Perhaps you and your daughter could go to a VA hospital and the local base to speak with active duty people and veterans.

It doesn't sound (at this point) like you will stop her from making her own decision (IMO that should not happen anyway). So, try to reach a point where she can make an educated decision, weighing the potential costs and the benefits.

Also realize, a lot can change in two years! When I was a sophomore, I thought I would be studying electrical engineering at UIUC, but I am studying history at the Air Force academy instead and looking to become a pilot. For me, two years was the time it took to go from being dead set on becomming an civilian electrical engineer to joining the military and taking the first steps to become a pilot...odd how things work out sometimes...

[Granny]

The biggest surprise to me are the number of people who think that the daughter doesn't know her own mind. By the time I finished the tenth grade, I had decided on a course for the rest of my life - what I did with my college major changed, but the major itself did not. My daughter had done pretty much the same, although she changed her concentration in the chosen area. Only when I deviated from or doubted my path did I do anything other than well. I cannot even imagine taking a course of study past the tenth grade or so without envisioning what I would do with it.

[tega]

Tell your daughter it is better to join the military as an officer, and that can only happen if she graduates from the service academies or from a regular college.

[Northstarmom]

"The biggest surprise to me are the number of people who think that the daughter doesn't know her own mind. By the time I finished the tenth grade, I had decided on a course for the rest of my life - what I did with my college major changed, but the major itself did not. "

That's because it's a rare person who knows enough abut themselves and the world to be set on their career path while in high school or -- for most people - even when they are in college.

Most college students change their majors at least twice.

I've been in a variety of careers in my life and few were similar to what I planned to do while in high school. My husband has stayed in the same field, but it's a different field than he had planned to enter when he was in h.s.

[rrah]

Given your daughter's previous history with an eating disorder and her OCD tendencies she may not qualify to serve, especially if she is on meds of some type. She would need a waiver.

See this link and do some more research at the site. I did also find some questions on eating disorders.

Careers: Military--Army, Navy, Airforce, Marines, Coast Guard: OCD in the miltary, army rotc cadet, recruiting offices

[timely]

A couple of suggestions to nudge her in the direction of an Academy or ROTC program...ask her if she would be willing to apply to attend the summer program at one of the academies. They are 2 week programs for rising seniors. Admission is competitive. That would give her a feel for that option. If she's interested in the marines, she might like to attend the summer program at the Naval Academy, since Navy officers can be commissioned into the marines.

Also, she could look at colleges with a uniformed corps of cadets. My son goes to Texas A&M, and the Corps of Cadets there is very rigorous and pretty much all-consuming. They heavily recruit JROTC cadets and have a weekend program for cadets who are jrs. and srs. in high school. More info is here: Junior Cadet Accessions Program: Texas A&M University Corps of Cadets . You might show here a couple of Youtube videos about the corps. We can't post links to youtube here, but if you go there, do a search for "aggiecorps". Choose the video titled "Corps of Cadets".

Virginia Military Institute is another military college to consider.

You could tell her that you understand she is planning to enlist in the marines when she graduates, but you'd like her to take advantage of these other opportunities while she is in high school. By the way, even if she turns 18 before high school graduation, her recruiters will push her to stay in school and graduate.

Other than that, I wouldn't argue with her too much. You know how that is...the more you argue, the more determined she'll be.

[bartleby]

If you're worried about her being killed or injured by enemy action, do note that those chances are disproportionately lower for women in the military than men. Out of the casualties in Operation Iraqi Freedom, 97.6% are men.

[oldfort]

My nephew wanted to apply to West Point since he was in ninth grade. My sister was very nervous. To her credit, she took him to visit West Point and other schools in the NE. I knew he would never go through with it. This is a kid with a suite as his bedroom, TV, laptop, gameboy, multiple guitars because he showed some interest, and a car. I told my sister to put him in a boot camp this summer (Junior year) to see if he could cut it. My sister just called me a few weeks ago to tell me West Point is off her son's college list (right before she was ready to commit to the boot camp). Sheesh, I could have told her that 3 years ago.

I wonder how many kids tell their parents they want to join the military to get attention. I personally don't think there is anything wrong for our kids to serve our country for a year before they could go off to college or get on with their lifes - may it be helping with under previliged children, building houses for the poor, peace corp, or military. But I do think too many of our kids are too soft to do hard work.

[hahathatsfunny13]

Yeah sorry military people, but joining the military is basically throwing your life away. It sounds like your daughter needs some tough love. She may be mad at you now, but she'll get over it eventually.

[RacinReaver]

A fairly bold statement for an 18 year old.

Oh well, trolls will be trolls.