One thing holding us back from out-of-state places we might consider

[JustAMomOf4]

My second child went 600 miles away to a rural college in North Carolina without a large airport nearby - she has survived and so did we.
She didn't have a car the first two years and I admit she didn't come home much but we got used to it.
My third just spent a year in Alabama and was able to fly home for breaks. She did get a ride home at the end of the year and did ditch some stuff at the end of the year.
It all seemed to work out. I can't imagine a kid feeling stranded in Chicago without a car.

Flying can be a hassle but there are tricks to it. Fly at certain times, hope you have a good airline that serves you well and try to fly non-stop.
One hears so many horror stories about flying - we tend to think that is the standard.
One trick my daughter used was she ordered all her school supplies from OfficeMax or OfficeDepot online. They came in two days and was much easier than trying to get a ride into town.
As far as getting their stuff there - they really do NOT need that much!
A lot of stuff can be bought in the town where the school is. Don't take a whole years worth of clothing - you can always send more later. College kids seem to have a limited wardrobe and often there is not a lot of space for storage.

[katliamom]

My D -- school in Massachusetts, home in colorado -- regularly volunteers to get bumped from her flights. As results, two of her round-trip flights home have been free. (Also, red-eye specials work fine for discounts...)

[paying3tuitions]

You mentioned the Amtrak train station is a few hours from you, but have you checked Greyhound or Trailways buses leaving Chicago for some city or town near you? You could drive over to pick him up. If you find there's an express bus to somewhere, even better. Sometimes the bus trip is long because of a transfer and layover, so look at the entire schedule. You might find it's worth it for you to drive a bit more, to avoid the last leg if it's a layover/transfer. Or not.

In general, remember that he's young and ready to grow. Try not to mix up your culture shock with his, and assume he'll outgrow his.

Re: RURAL culture shock: My older two left a rural town for colleges with students from across the nation. Naturally, they felt intimidated at first. Then they began to realize that their rural experiences gave them information and a point-of-view that was valuable. When they studied economics, well, they knew real farmers. Studying biology, they were familiar with plant species beyond the "oak or maple" tree growing throughout cities and suburbs of the Northeast. Government? They knew their mayor, because he ate at the local diner. In a way, they had more confidence because they knew how to get their heads around the entire community in which they grew up. They have a lot of perspective to offer any classroom or campus, but don't always feel this confidence at first. They will, after a while.

PS, Neither of my 2 older kids ever brought cars to campus all 4 years; did all their activities on campus; don't own cars now, even as college graduates. They both moved directly to new cities of their choosing (NYC, Providence RI) where they use urban public transportation, bikes or their feet. I honestly wouldn't want them to move back here because their work opportunities are much better where they have chosen to live. If you want you S to return to live or work nearby, you might see no reason to have him learn to handle city life. If he might want to do something other than live near you or do what your local economy offers, then let him go now to a city. He'll learn to handle airports, traffic, and so much more while he's young and willing to make mistakes, learning from them. Then he can choose whether or not he wants a rural life for his own future. How's your local economy? Frankly, I wouldn't want my kids living here; we're falling apart in upstate NY.

[menloparkmom]

orangepop, Chicago students can have ALL their dorm stuff shipped to their dorms ahead of their arrival. And there is virtually no place to park cars around UChicago, so that should not be a consideration. The train service in Chicago is extensive, and more than 1 line comes within a few blocks of the U. For easy flights, try to go in and out of Midway, which is a 20 min. bus ride from the U. My son flew Southwest nonstop between Calif and Midway.

[orangepop]

Owlice, the reason I commented on the small town is the traffic factor being different. We don't even have a stoplight. It's not the driving to Chicago, it's the driving once there, and keeping the car parked and safe. I hate leaving the car there vulnerable, too, when I'm almost certain once he parks it, he won't be going too far with it. He's just not a driving type of kid. It's nearly 7 hours from our part of Iowa, and while that wouldn't be so fun for an inexperienced driver, I'm sure he could do okay on the way there. He is intimidated driving places and that is the reason he's hesitating. I'm not trying to shelter him or send him a message about being scared...it's his comfort I'm basing this on, not my own. He doesn't go anywhere and basically stays home if he's not at school or in sports. He just isn't that kind of kid that is running all over. Believe me, we encourage him to drive to other places but he has really only ventured 30 minutes or so away. LOL.

To me, going to Chicago sounds like an exciting possibility but if he doesn't feel comfortable, I know it just won't happen. I thought provided him a way to get there other than driving would help him relax about it. He could take other transportation the first year and then after that he'll know more what it is like and might feel comfortable taking a car.

This was just my long shot attempt at making him realize there are other options besides places in Iowa (which he'll probably choose in the long run).

[orangepop]

Thanks to all who posted their viewpoints. I think what would be neat is if I could convince him to visit the campus. If he ended up liking it (and could gain admission there), I think the rest would fall into place for his worries about leaving the area.

Funny, I always assumed it was a public university. I think the small size of it would appeal to him. It's weird how we have assumptions about places that aren't around us. I've now heard of colleges I never knew existed. This board is really helpful.

[katliamom]

Your son won't need a car in Chicago. Plenty students don't have one. You could drive him to school, park where the school tells you, help him move in, and then drive home. It's very doable.

[MilwDad]

As others have said, your son not only won't need but won't want a car in Chicago. It's a hassle, especially for a college kid. And as far as getting to and from home, recognize first that that's only a few times the whole year -- Thanksgiving, the term breaks, spring break. You probably only need to drive that twice -- to drop him off in the fall and pick him up in the spring -- and I'm sure the U of C is very helpful to parents as to how to do that. On the other occasions the easiest thing would be for him to take the train to as close to home as he can get and for you to pick him up there. No big deal.

[cottonwood513]

Orangepop: You can visit U of Chicago by car. Park on the Midway
Plaisance. You would be driving on an expressway the whole way, there
are three exits for Hyde Park--pretend you are going to the Museum of
Science and Industry, get off at that exit. You are next to Lake Michigan,
so you cannot get lost. Drive past the Museum and turn south and watch
for "Midway Plaisance" and take that west (away from the lake remember) and
drive until you see campus. Look at satellite photos on internet.

Your son doesn't need a car on campus as a first-year. From Iowa, I
would drive, not bother flying. (gas, yikes!)

My son moved into his dorm there last Sept--all we did was pull up to
the curb and open the doors. The upperclass housemates were waiting
with bins on wheels and they took ALL his boxes and guitar and everything and delivered them right to his room! It was the easiest move in my life! And I had wasted a lot of time, writing his name, room #, house name, dorm name on every box--for nothing, lol.

If you can handle visiting Northwestern, you can handle UChi.

[justbreathe]

I flew 3000 miles to get to my college...yeahhh it's a bit more of a hassle than it was for my roommate who just drove an hour and she got to have more stuff in the room and didn't have to deal with summer storage like I did, but it's really a small pain that lasts a day or so and that pays off in an entire school year.

Most people don't have cars in college. Parking spaces are hard to find and public transportation is usually quicker or easier.

Kids adjust to the travelling thing really quickly. When you haven't travelled, it seems really intimidating(I know it did for me)...but now I navigate my way through buses to trains and through random airports I've never been to before on my own with relative ease. Most of transportation(train, bus, airport, whatever) is relatively user-friendly from my experience(just look for the signs, or ask someone who works there, and they usually point you on your way).

I know small town kids who are at my university. They adjusted just fine. They find the culture shock kind of fun(as do we when they tell us about small town life).

[cptofthehouse]

Both of my older boys went to colleges 7 hours away by car. Though the distance is drivable for us, after the first year, we tend to rent a car to go there and fly back and vice versa. That way we have the car to haul stuff up there and have while we visit, but do not have to drive the trip home. We often just do a day trip that way, saving on a hotel room, and it is cheaper that way too, since one of us goes up with the student, saving on two airfares, and returns with a one way ticket when he goes up to college, and one of us flies up there and rents a car at the airport, picks up the kid and stuff and shares the driving home at the end of the year. Once they were there for a while, they found other kids who live near by that they could ride with, even for that distance. There were a few times that they took a bus or train from a location a couple of hours away or we picked them up somewhere about an hour away. Neither kid had or has a car at college, nor will my third.

My third picked a college cross country. He will be flying out there early as he has some things to do with friends in the area, and H and I shall join him later with a car laden with things before move in day. We are making this part of our vacation and driving cross country with a rental, and will fly back home. We are so looking forward to this.

These days, there is not much they really need at school. Since everything can be done by computer or ipod or cell, there isn't the need for the stereo system that was our generation's baggage. You can buy most things there; if you buy at chain stores you can pick up items there that you choose locally. I have always purchased the computer at the college because they load with all the necessary software, and it just makes it easier. I usually ordered the linens from the brochure the colleges send, as well. There really is not that much more to get. You can find Walmarts, Targets, Dollar Shops everywhere, and you can send a box to them as well.

Once they are at the college, they learn about shuttles, buses, rides to the airports. The bulletin boards are full of that info. None of my kids have had trouble getting to airports to get home. It's going to be more of a challenge with this third one since there are NO direct flights from his city to ours, and it's going to mean 2 flights with a transfer. I can tell you that it did make us pause, but he really loved the school.

I would have preferred a school within 3 hours away with good transportation available. He had such choices, and the distance and trouble did come into consideration in the final decision. He felt strongly that the school of choice was worth the extra hassle in transportation, as did his brothers when they made their choices. I can tell you that as I drove on route 80 west, many a time I would look wi****lly at the exit for Bucknell U which was about half the distance from our home and kid's college, and was his second choice school with a tough decision made, and think, "if he went there, I'd be there now".

There are disadvantages. If something happens, you cannot be there as quickly or as inexpensively. I had to eat some plane tickets that I got ahead of time that could not be used because of change in plans that occurred. However, it has given them whole new worlds away from home.

[JHS]

It's true your son wouldn't need a car at the University of Chicago.

It's not necessarily true that your son wouldn't WANT a car there. The kids with cars find lots of things to do with them (including having lots of friends among kids without cars). While public transit is pretty good in Chicago, there are lots of places students like to go that are 90 minutes from campus without a car, and 20 minutes with.

But that's all for the future. Going to college in Chicago doesn't require a commitment to drive around the city. It does require a commitment to live someplace quite different than where he lives now.

[jmmom]

My son comes from a town of 8000 (must sound huge to orangepop ). Some of us bemoaned the arrival of our first traffic light a few years ago; I still consider it an interloper.

My son has gone to school in New Orleans and Baltimore. The first involved getting to and from by air. The second largely by car (we drive him and pick up at beginning and end of school year).

He hasn't had a car at either place. Might he occasionally use one if he had it? Sure. Is it worth the cost? No.

If you think your son might like what UChicago has to offer, I'd suggest a visit. If you and he think there would be benefit to stretching his horizons for college, then exploring some big city options might be nice. If not, he can have quite a broadening experience at any college, including those in his backyard.

There is also a world of options in between - colleges in different parts of the country but in similarly small town/rural atmospheres to where he has grown up.

[orangepop]

Guess what...being so curious about this place brings up a new feeling for me....what if my son really, really likes it if we visit and then he doesn't get in. I've never thought of a place for him yet that there was much question about admission.

I guess this would be the "reach" schools I read about on here, and I guess it's good to have a goal like that. It doesn't hurt to try!

I can imagine the anguish of not being admitted to your top choices...but I'm sure that is part of the process many students have to go through.

[JHS]

Going back to the original question:

People deal with transportation in lots of different ways. For us, Southwestern Airlines has made transportation relatively easy, and less expensive than we feared it would be. UPS has handled transportation for a few items that could not be carried as baggage. Other people drive their kids to and from college, as reported above.

Once a kid is in college and has his bearings, many other transportation modes may suggest themselves: getting rides with other Iowans for gas money and company, busses, trains, etc. It may make sense to take a bus to someplace in between, and you meet him there. People figure out ways to do things.

Realistically, you can probably count the number of times he will travel between home and college on your fingers. If you're lucky, you might have to use some toes, too. It's a finite number of trips, a finite number of days of inconvenience, with each event involving a menu of different options and trade-offs. Travel difficulties can loom large in peoples' minds, but measured against the scope of the college experience they are pretty unimportant.