One thing holding us back from out-of-state places we might consider

[orangepop]

Is the travel. How does everybody handle the logistics of it all, especially if the student doesn't want to bring a car or shouldn't bring a car?

One place that has looked interesting but we've brushed aside is Univ of Chicago. My son would NOT drive there (neither would I) beings we are from an Iowa town of just 2000. Talk about culture shock. It would all seem overwhelming. Flying is expensive and now a hassle.

Maybe something like Amtrak would be an option, though it's a few hours away just to get him to an Amtrak station around here, but still might be worthwhile. But once getting to Chicago, then other steps have to be made to get to the college, etc...it's so different than our lifestyle here.

And how do you get all your "stuff" there when you move in?

I'm sure others have dealt with all this...and how much did it factor into your student's decision on where to go? And if they didn't bring a car, did they feel "stranded" while at college?

[fireflyscout]

D goes to college in Minnesota; we live in Texas. She didn't have a car her freshman year. When she moved in, we rented a larger SUV to drive up. She was sharing a triple, so if she had any more stuff than would fit in the SUV, too bad - it probably wouldn't fit in the room. Some people had shipped items to the college in advance. D didn't feel stranded without a car - she was within walking distance of town, and the college provided a shuttle to other places, including the Minneapolis airport. I did notice that Greyhound could take her to and from, but we never used that. Last year she did take her car, but didn't use it much. Oh - and her college also provides storage for items during the summer, so not much had to be transported back other than a lot of dirty laundry.

[chuy]

I didn't go quite that far, but I do live far enough away that driving home every weekend isn't an option (especially with gas now.) I tend to only come home on major breaks (1 week or more off.) My freshman year I didn't have a car and didn't feel stranded; I really enjoyed campus and there was always something to do there, so why go home. If your son went to Chicago there'd be more to do than he'd ever be able to. The only time it's really bad is if theres some sort of family emergency at home.

In your situation Amtrak is probably the best bet. He'll have to take some public transport once he gets up there but the L is one of the better railways in the country and I'd have to assume services near the Amtrak station. Supplies would be an issue, especially clothes. You could have him take what he can carry in a large suitcase and then ship the rest up. Expensive, but really the only option. Books, toiletries, etc. he can just buy up there.

edit: If you're worried about him not having a car in Chicago don't be. Having one would be worse than not. It's got to be terrible to park up there. The L services pretty much everywhere you'll ever want to go in the city, and there are bus systems for anything not covered.

[riverrunner]

Hi orangepop,

Is there any chance your S could do a summer session or visit a campus he's interested in (U Chicago) this summer? That way you could rehearse the travel part, and decide if you are comfortable with it.

We've sent our kids to summer camps at campuses over the years, and have been pleasantly surprised at how well transportation works in many big cities. We're from a small city without mass transit, and so this was all pretty unfamiliar and scary to our family as well. However, my kids have all learned to find the limo service, bus, train or whatever there is, to make it to the campus. With cell phones, it is easy to stay in touch and give some advice if they are confused about anything.

As far as the move to campus for freshmen, we haven't experienced this yet, but did receive the move-in drill for our freshman-to-be. They gave us very complete instructions about how and when to ship her items. My d will not be taking a car to college, and colleges are prepared to help kids figure out how to get them and their stuff there without one.

It's a bit of a learning curve for we ruralites, but don't throw out educational opportunities for your S because of lack of experience with the travel piece!

Best wishes.

[Calreader]

There have been several recent threads on how to get stuff college when you travel by air. People with experience have been sharing practical tips, and I've been taking notes for this fall when our daughter goes off to rural Massachusetts from suburban California. It all sounds very doable.

I think the biggest issue from my parent perspective is that it won't be easy for our daughter to come home. With the time change and lack of direct flights, it takes all day to get to her college. She is fine with this in principle, though a little nervous about how it will end up feeling once she's there. My husband travels to Massachusetts for business once or twice a year, so he'll get to visit her in college if she lets him. He thinks it sounds fun to knock on her door and yell surprise; she thinks she'd like a phone call first.

Way back when I was going to college, I left an agricultural town of 3000 to go to college in east Oakland. The distance was only 50 miles, but the cultural difference was immense - I didn't know anything about cities. I got my purse snatched the second week I was there, when I was walking to the bank to set up an account. But I loved the variety and energy of the city and I spent all of my weekends exploring the area. I still liked going home for the holidays and bringing college friends for visits, although I wasn't used to the foghorns anymore so I couldn't sleep well at home :-).

[Singersmom07]

These were a couple of the recent threads.
Packing/Moving Far from home
Baggage fees vs shipping costs - getting thier stuff to school

[JHS]

From Iowa, it shouldn't be an overwhelming drive to Chicago! I understand, it could be some hundreds of miles, but not something that couldn't be done comfortably in a day. Probably, you would drive your son to college the first time, and help him move in, and then play it by ear for subsequent trips. The University of Chicago draws a lot of smart kids from rural communities in Iowa.

(And they tend to bring their cars, although not necessarily first year. Parking is a problem, but not an insuperable problem. My kids have often been grateful that their rural-midwestern friends have cars.)

Again, specific to the University of Chicago, driving there from Iowa should be a lot less intimidating that you expect. The University is five or six miles from the central Loop area, and is really in its own low-key, tree-lined little neighborhood that, taken alone, is not so different from what you might find in a much smaller city anywhere east of the Rockies and north of Texas. You drive on well-marked superhighway, you get off, and you're eight or ten blocks away on streets that are not difficult to negotiate. Apart from the fact that you can see the Sears Tower in the distance, I doubt it's that much different from driving to Ames or Iowa City. (Easy for me to say, never having driven to Ames or Iowa City.)

[jazzymom]

For us (okay, me), the colleges and universities in upstate NY, attractive as they are academically, are daunting because of the effort to get there. I'm talking Cornell, Rochester, Colgate. They're still on the list because they suit S2 in one way or another, but to see him go that far and to have visiting such a hassle.....It dampens one's enthusiasm.

[SJTH]

We have a Colgate kid and we're from Orygone. It really wasn't a hassle to get him there--fly into Syracuse and drive an hour--or for us to visit, BUT it is hard for him to get to the airport without a friend to drive him. There is a great taxi service, but it costs almost $100 one way. However, he doesn't, and won't, have a car, so we don't have that expense.

[owlice]

Chicago is about 5.5 hours by car from Des Moines, which is not a great distance. I don't understand why driving there would be out of the question, nor why how many people live in your town would have any bearing on this.

Learning doesn't take place only in the classroom, and what message do you send your kid by being afraid to go to a place that's different from where you currently live?

jazzymom, some of the upstate NY schools might take a little driving to get to, but oh, what scenery you'll have to drive through! My H lived in Ithaca for 30 years; our long-distance courtship had me driving the 6 hours up and back at least once a month (and him driving down and back with the same frequency). Ithaca is a very livable city with much to offer. Colgate is beautifully situated. And wow, NY deals with snow soooooo much better than DC does! More practice, and NY has it down pat!

[NewHope33]

"how much did it factor into your student's decision on where to go?"

Zero -- less than zero. Both D's insisted on attending school "at least" five hours from home. And both have worked out ways to deal with "stuff." IMHO, leave those chores to your S.

[ChiSquare]

Iowans go to college in Chicago? Gee, I thought that particular home->college route only ran in the opposite direction!

Iowa has struck me as one of the states (along with Maine) as having the highest good school per capita ratio. Definitely the highest good school per corn stalk ratio.

[kathiep]

We factored in travel for our kids but after hearing how other people worked it out made it a non-factor. My daughter went to a tiny college 16 hours drive away in IL, about 45 minutes from St. Louis, and only had a car the last year. She came home for winter break and sometimes her Spring break. She arranged to either get a ride home or a ride to the airport so she could fly home. Our son attends a college in SW Virginia, about 6 hours away. He does drive and doesn't seem to mind it at all. If he made an effort he could have gotten rides or riders.

Most colleges have ride boards where kids can catch rides with fellow students too.

To jazzymom, My nephew attends Cornell (rising senior) but parents live in NYC. He takes a bus home for breaks. He LOVES his college.

[MidwestParent]

We too live in a small town and D is at a school @ 5.5 - 6 hours away. We pack everything in the car when she moves in and we drive up, and pack it all up and move her back in the spring. We usually fly her home for breaks, but then have the two hour drive to the airport (one way) to pick her up. Luckily Southwest has flights for around $100, making them cheaper than the gas for us to drive and pick her up.

The thing we found was that she really didn't have time to come home other than school breaks - Thanksgiving, Winter Break, and Spring Break. The work at these schools is back breaking and they can't just leave and come home on the weekend. We did go up when her musical group performed; sometimes we flew and sometimes we drove.

[curmudgeon]

My small town D had no trouble deciding on a school 10 hrs away by car. It was her 2nd closest option. 1st year no vehicle, and no problem. We drove her stuff up. (As reported on CC.) We flew her from Memphis to DFW (Very expensive to me) at breaks or she caught a ride. This past year she took her vehicle (it's a smaller SUV, not a car. A car wouldn't make it on the ranch.) and drives home at Christmas, flies from Little Rock the rest of the time. Very reasonable (to me).

We drive up at parent's weekend.

Scary? Yeah. She was certainly stepping out of her comfort zone but she came to realize the opportunities for her in Memphis as a Pre-Med were much greater than in some of the small towns she was considering. It was those opps that pushed her to make the decision she did and she hasn't looked back.

She has grown up in ways that are astonishing. Her med school hunt has no limitations now. She knows she can survive anywhere. "Dad. I live in Memphis. Did you forget that?"