Should I keep calling the principal

BlackTie · 06-08-2008, 11:19 AM

I don't have much exeperience dealing with high school staff, as this is my D's first year. I emailed the principal a long while back and asked for a course waiver. He replied right away and said he's working on it, and that he'll let my D know. A month passed by, and D didn't hear anything so I emailed him. He read the email but didn't respond. A couple weeks or so later, I left him a voice mail with his secratary. She told me she forwarded the voice mail to him, but we haven't heard from him still. Now, it's really nice if D could waive the course, but it's no big deal to us.

To those parents who have dealt with the public high school officials, should I keep pressing for a decision? I am not a pushy person and don't want to appear as such. I don't want it to be negatively impact my D when it comes to recommendation, nomination and all that stuff related to college few years down the road.

Thanks!

emeraldkity4 · 06-08-2008, 11:54 AM

this is a busy time of year, what course and what year is your D?

mathmom · 06-08-2008, 12:52 PM

In our school this issue would more likely be dealt with by the guidance office. If I were you I'd go in and say "I don't want to be a nag, I know this is a busy time of year, but could you tell me how long it will before a decision is made?" I've also had good luck going to the principal directly (in elementary school where I knew the principal, not in high school where I wouldn't feel comfortable with this approach.) I'd tell her I didn't need to see her now, but just wanted to know when I should come back. Nine times out of ten, she was willing to see me then and there if I was standing in the office.

Northstarmom · 06-08-2008, 02:01 PM

I would have had my son do this via his GC. Only if he ran into problems would I have stepped in. The earlier we empower our kids to deal with their own educational concerns, the better they'll be able to thrive in college.

mizzou-mom · 06-08-2008, 02:08 PM

Why isn't your D following up on this while she is at school? I agree, it sounds like she should be getting a waiver from her GC. This isn't something you should be hounding the principal for. Your D is in HS now and she needs to learn how to take care of her business.

DougBetsy · 06-08-2008, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Why isn't your D following up on this while she is at school? I agree, it sounds like she should be getting a waiver from her GC. This isn't something you should be hounding the principal for. Your D is in HS now and she needs to learn how to take care of her business.

Yes, I agree.

paying3tuitions · 06-08-2008, 03:49 PM

What an understandable situation. All you did was carry over the normal ways parents communicate with schools from K-8. Suddenly in Grade 9, students are expected to "handle their business" but in fact we found it was a scaffolding process. The Guidance office becomes your replacement, and they're inside the system so can bump into the principal more readily, or make an appointment to handle the questions of l0 students on their caseload.

They'll respect your family a lot if you begin to teach your D now to bring concerns to the GC herself, and only ask for backup from you when she feels it's not working at the GC level. Some meetings will still be 3-ways with GC, student and parent, but you don't always have to be in there in the middle. If you work, a 3-way meeting can also mean the student is in the GC office, and they speaker-phone you on schedule at work. This is not just an at-home parent privilege!

The principal was, in fact, cueing you on that when he said he'd reply through your daughter. Is it even possible the principal gave a message to your D that she forgot to transmit to you? That might also explain why he's no longer replying to you directly.

It's worth it to find out the GC office policies, and instruct your D to use them whenever needed. For example, the GC's make appointments with every student in the class once each year, but a student can also initiate their own appointment if the matter can wait a few days. As well, there are probably policies in place whereby a student may ask a teacher to be excused from class in order to see a GC on any kind of emergency, same-day basis.

If you find your D is a weak link in the communications, it's fine for you to just phone up her GC to say, "I want to teach her to use the resources of the Guidance Office more. Can you please call her out for an appointment to advise her what she can do through your office, in the future?" I think they'd respect you very much for teaching your D how to use school resources. That attitude relates to future college applications, down the road. It takes a year or so to build up in the kids. You are right on track!

Megan2010 · 06-08-2008, 05:14 PM

we have had similar situations at my school and the neighboring schools, and in most cases the parents end up walking into the guidance or office unannounced because thats the only way to get an answer around here.

QuietLurkingMom · 06-08-2008, 05:37 PM

At QuietLurkingDaughter's high school, this would have to be agreed upon by the prinicpal's office. A student can discuss this with their g/c, but before any decision is made, the student "must" sit down and speak to the prinicipal. While parents are required to sign off on any changes, the prinicipal tells the student directly what the final decision is.

mathmom · 06-08-2008, 06:51 PM

By the way, I agree with the other parents here - it makes more sense for your daughter to try to get this resolved first.

milkandsugar · 06-08-2008, 07:45 PM

I find that the GC is more of an advocate for your child than anything else and they are also the buffer between administration (principal),teachers and the student. Now might be a good time to prepare your daughter to interact with the GC because their skill and value when it comes time for college preparation cannot be replaced. IMHO, if they get to know your child through multiple interactions over the years, it will pay off tremendously in her senior year. That has been my experience with my D.

oldfort · 06-08-2008, 08:23 PM

At my daughters' school, we are required to sign off on their class schedule every year. Until your kid is 18, the school is required to respond to you. In this case I think the principal is being an a*s. He is being a typical public servant. I would demand a response - it may mean escalating it to the next level. Your time should be as valuable as his time. Why should you have to chase him down for a simple answer? If he is busy he could say, "I am very busy with end of year events now. I will give you an answer before the fall semester." But no response is not acceptable.

I also agree with some posts here that GC may be more of an advocate for your kid, but the principal still owes you an answer once you have approached him.

marite · 06-08-2008, 09:13 PM

The principal is not the one who is in charge of course selection and scheduling. The GC is. The person to contact is the GC. If the GC says the principal's okay is required, it is still the GC's duty to present your student's request to the principal if the GC is agreeable to the waiver.

LIMOMOF2 · 06-09-2008, 06:44 AM

In D's school, the GC is the one to speak to about these types of matters. While I would let D handle the matter herself, if she had trouble connecting with the GC for some reason (for example, if the GC was meeting with other students or in conferences during D's free period), I would call and leave a message on the GC's voicemail explaining that D wanted to meet with her and why. That way, the GC can have some answers for D and it makes their conversations quick and easy. Of course D's GC is very responsive, and her questions are usually ones that have easy answers.

mizzou-mom · 06-09-2008, 07:22 AM

Our school has 700 kids at it. If the principal had to respond to every parent's demand to have their child's schedule waived, he would have no time to run the school. The OP should have her daughter work through the proper channels herself. She will be there for four years and needs to learn how to handle her problems. And I agree that getting to know your GC(no matter how effective/ineffective they are) pays off in the long run senior year when you need that transcript rushed through in a day!! Calling the principal is usually reserved for really important matters and should be used sparingly in order to be taken seriously around here. Parents that call the principal repeatedly lose their sense of credibility and urgency.