Colleges for Non-Competitive Achievers

[va_catlover]

DS is ending his junior year. I feel that it is a point of demarcation as everything he's done to date will be the basis for his college application. I know he needs to keep working hard as a senior, but in some ways, the curtain has fallen. Although he has very good grades and has done very well on SATs, he has not received awards or any kind of recognition from the school. I think this is partly because he has decided that people who get recognized or who are in a lot of activities are "aggressive" or "competitive" in a way that he does not want to be. Over the years, I have provided a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of lessons and activities so that he would be prepared to be as good as he could be in the arts and other non-sports activities as he is not athletically inclined. However, he did not feel comfortable pursuing these activities as he grew older.

I hope that a college will see his intellectual capabilities and not focus on a lack of an assertive, competitive personality. I am disappointed that the school did not give him more encouragement. I think if a teacher would have reached out to him to join in other activities, he might have done so. Perhaps this is too much to ask. In general, we have not gotten great guidance from the school on any front--academic as well as activities. I feel sad that three years of high school have passed and that I as a parent am fairly dissatisfied with the school and with the feeling that my son has failed to realize what I think his full potential could have been.

Part of my reason for posting is just to vent, but I would also like to ask for some guidance from other parents who may have been in a similar situation as to what colleges might be good for DS. I'm thinking maybe someplace small as the high school was a somewhat large public school--hoping that he would not get lost in the shuffle and might get the encouragement to participate more. I feel like this next step of college choice is going to be a very important one for us, as I'm sure it is for everyone, but perhaps a bit more tricky because of his non-competitive and perhaps shy and reticent nature.

[gbesq]

It's hard to give better advice without more detail about your son (his academic interests, gpa, standardized test scores, etc.), but if you're looking for top colleges where your son will get a stellar education and where cooperation rather than competition is emphasized, I'd suggest you take a look at a Quaker college like Swarthmore or Haverford. The student bodies at these schools may also appeal to your son -- very smart, very talented, but without the undercurrent of prestige/privilege/entitlement that you tend to get at HYPS, etc. His academic record will need to be very strong to be competitive for admission, but it might be worth a try.

[prefect]

I'm not sure if I have a lot of words of wisdom. Could you be a little more specific about his stats? Doing well on the SAT's means different things to different people. In general, liberal arts colleges are looking for male students, so some of the smaller LACS may be a good way to start your search. Does your S have any extracurriculars? What about community service or activities/hobbies outside of school?

[hsmomstef]

check out colorado college, small student body and the kids really care -- about each other and what goes on outside of the college.

[CuriousKid]

hrsmomstef- yea, but they also have PLENTY of drugs to go around...

I would look at some of the mid-range LACs. You definitely want a small school (having a sister that's gone through UVA, large schools are not the place for shy people if they need any sort of encouragement), however I would urge you to look at class sizes of around a thousand. I think the slightly larger ones help to lessen the cliqueness, but are still small and supportive.

Not being told of stats, some of the colleges that seem similar although perhaps a bit small are Kenyon (great english), Whitman, Oberlin, Harvey Mudd (math/science), St. Olaf, Carleton. If you can, take a look off the east coast. Although my stats are well above the average, I fell in love with St. Olaf and will be attending there next year. I won't bore you with my love affair with the school, but it has really taught me to look closely at the student population.

[bethievt]

Add Grinnell.

[oregon101]

please let us know what area of the country you are willing to look at and a general idea of GPA and of SAT's. From what you have written you have done a great job of keeping him connected and achieving. Most probably he will need a smaller environment (mine does for sure) and I first think of Kenyon if you are in the Midwest. Stonehill in the East and Linfield in the PNW. Just some ideas.

[BunsenBurner]

From what I know, Whitman and UPS in the PNW, St. Olaf and Carleton in the middle, and Haverford on the East Coast are great college options for academically-inclined, intellectual but somewhat leadership-shy kid.

[great lakes mom]

In the Wisconsin, add Beloit College, Lawrence University, and Earlham in Indiana which is is also Quaker. A Quaker environment could give validation to his quieter non competitive side, and perhaps make it into a strength.

[mini]

Another vote for Earlham. If I had to do my education all over again (I went to #1 LAC), that's where I'd go.

[va_catlover]

Thanks--these are some great ideas and have added some unknown colleges to our list. Here are some stats:

We are East Coast, but we are interested in looking not only here, but in Chicago and on West Coast
Unweighted GPA at end of sophomore year: 3.8 (school system has not computed it yet for junior year but with weighting it will exceed 4.0)
Sat: 740 verbal, 660 math, 640 writing (1st try--will try again in fall)
Extracurriculars: forensic team, academic competition team called It's Academic, 3 honor societies with accompanying community service, guitar ensemble and classical and rock guitar lessons
Interests: computer science major and music minor (not very interested in liberal arts, unfortunately)

[chuy]

I'd be surprised if he improved that SAT score much; a 1400/2040 is really good and tough to improve. His ECs are actually pretty good; I wouldn't call them a weak point. To be honest he doesn't have much of a weak point on paper. I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised with the number of schools he's going to have a good shot at getting in to.

One thing you might consider is having him to go to a school that does "Themed Housing" and staying in one of those, since they tend to form smaller communities within the larger university. There are more than just "substance free" housing, you'll have to check with each college he's interested in to see what's available. Just something to consider.

[northeastmom]

mini, could you tell me a bit more about why you like Earlham?

[Chedva]

My d also was not "competitive"; she was more the "cooperative" type. She got no awards from school, except admission to the National Honor Society (which is not automatic in her school). She loves the cooperative nature of University of Rochester. The kids study hard and work hard, but there is little competition. Classmates help each other; if one misses a class, another automatically sends the notes without being asked. No one asks what your grades were; no one cares. She calls it a "chill" school.

Rochester is a small university - 4500 undergrads and 2000 or so graduate students (including the medical school). Excellent CS department, excellent music department in which he could minor, and he can audition to take private classes with a graduate student from Eastman School of Music for free.

Other schools to consider, some of which may be safeties: Goucher College in MD (one of the Colleges that Change Lives), Connecticut College (which does not require SAT I but does require 2 SAT IIs), Bucknell University, Brandeis University. Tufts is a great school, but from what I understand is more competitive than it sounds like he wants.

[gadad]

Catlover - I think he'll be admissible at over 99% of the colleges in America. People on CC tend to obsess over the minutiae of resumes, because we tend to be obsessed with the top dozen or so schools whose students have the highest GPAs and SATs in the country. In those cases, with the majority of the applicant pools having such high stats that there's no meaningful quantitative difference among them, ECs and awards become the tipping point of the application. But almost every campus is looking for students with your S's academic abilities.

Earlham is renowned as a supportive, inclusive, welcoming community. I recall that it's always been a campus tradition for the students there to line the entrance road and cheer as the new students arrive for move-in day. Also, go to Princeton Review and check out the "Rankings and Lists" for Whitman. Yeah, I know, it's fluff and the surveys aren't statistically rigorous, but here's a small college in small town Washington that ranks in their top 20 nationally in over a dozen different categories - all on the positive side - including #3 for "Quality of Life" and #1 for "Happiest Students." Those kinds of responses are hard to ignore.