What to do if they are having second thoughts?

[oregon101]

really-pay as much attention to the reassurances you give your D as to the actual solution. Right now she is emotional and she needs to be met with support-not the grim facts-which often work themselves out some way.
As for Credit Cards-we used Juniper Bank-which gives $$ towards airflights on Orbitz. We charged everything possible and I went on line and paid it off one time a week-I treated it as if it was a checking account. Did not pay a cent of finance charges-so D was in Vermont and we were in Oregon and never paid full fair. Hassle yes, but worth it.

[deb922]

Great idea about the credit card oregon101, I've always worried if I would spend more than I had!

We are leaving to go on vacation today. Hopefully, we will have a great time and my D will feel better about going away. I'm going to be very supportive, and not project my fears to her.

[twinmom]

Agree with the Capital One card - no blackout dates. You can purchase any flight you want, anytime - and just charge it to Capital One. One phone call and they refund your purchase to the card if you have the miles.

Charge everything but be sure to pay in full each month!

[kelsmom]

Deb, buyer's remorse is common among students who had good choices for college. My D began to question her decision during the summer before she started school. She DID end up transferring to another school for sophomore year. However, we think it was good that she attended the school she chose for the first year. It gave her time to make sure she was really making the right decision this time around. Plus, she had some great experiences & made some wonderful friends.

D was 13 hours from home last year & will be 9 hours away this year. The distance isn't so bad ... it's easier to communicate with her than it was for me to communicate with my parents when I was only an hour away so many years ago! I second the frequent flyer credit cards ... we charge everything & pay it off at the end of the month. D was able to get home that way several times last year. NWA's card is a good one for holiday travel ... we can combine miles & money to get a really good fare for the peak period. It's better than the premium mileage usually charged at holiday time.

[CountingDown]

My family moved while I was in college -- changing my trip home from two hours to nine. (My dad was in the military, so this was part of life.) This happened at the end of my soph year in college, and by then, it didn't matter so much to me. "Home" was at college and I stayed there to work during the summers anyway. My BF's parents lived right down the street from where my family lived, so I had a place to go if I wanted to head back. OP, if your D still has frineds in her home town, some of them may welcome her with open arms if she can't get home to you for the holidays. It may not be home, but it is familiar people and places.

Caveat: My dad was assigned to Germany as I was graduating from HS. Had he chosen to take the four-year assignment and moved the entire family, I may well have gone to UMD/Munich instead and taken advantage of the chance to travel extensively. Instead, he took the two-year, unaccompanied tour so that my four other sibs didn't have to change high schools and leave me in the States with no relatives within 1,000 miles.

I'm not sure what we'll be doing for Thanksgiving yet this year -- getting S out of Chicago will be a fascinating exercise, I'm sure, and I'm not sure it's worht it for a four-day weekend. My H's side of the family expects to see us (and S) in NJ then, too, which is a 4.5 hour drive when it's NOT Thanksgiving. I have seriously considered whether DH, S2 and I should just drive to Chicago instead and avoid the whole mess, but haven't discussed it with DH yet.

We have the United Mileage Plus card. Have never had a problem getting tickets when we needed them. Also have S signed up with Southwest since that's a straight route to college.

[mmaah]

Countingdown: We ended going to our son (actually meeting him in a city to which the college has a holiday shuttle) one year and now it has become a welcomed tradition. We have other family in the city so we do some visiting we need to do regularly anyway and my son has really appreciated not doing the flight, a more relaxing break, and we see more of him then we would when he is home for such a short time and all the hometown friends are around to socialize. He says Thanksgiving is "too close to Christmas break to be worth the trip"

[Karen Colleges]

Deb, may I suggest something that I told my son: "I'll give you one free visit. If you need me, I'll be there, don't worry about the distance, time involved or the cost."

This was recommended to me by a friend with college aged sons. None of our kids has used this free pass, but it made all of us feel much better to know that it was an option. Once the freshman year started, they were very busy and happy with all their activities.

It takes us 25 hours, at the least, to get from our airport in Asia to S's state, but I would go, if he asked me to.

[SpringfieldMom]

My D also had second thoughts about attending such a large school (Penn State) with little financial aid instead of my much smaller alma mater where the aid package was spectacular. It was more of a "do I really want to be a small fish in a big pond or is being a big fish in a small pond better" type of deal. I'm happy to say she gave the big pond a chance and has been happy ever since. She also now considers her school "home" and can't wait to be "home" in just over a month.

As for your D and her boy, she should ask herself this: at her age these things usually DON'T last and if she made her college decision based on this boy, and then they break up, would she still be happy?

I say give the original college decision a chance. Her gut instinct to attend this school is probably the right one.

Good luck.