When to leave - Page 2

mizzou-mom · 08-09-2008, 12:05 PM

#3 With variations...move her in early, help her set up and then if her roommate shows up, leave them alone to get acquainted, decide on what they are going to do, etc. Set up a time to make a last minute WalMart run(believe me, you'll need it!)and then leave her to meet all her new dormmates.

prefect · 08-09-2008, 12:16 PM

I think it depends on if there are parent activities after move in day and if you plan to go to them. We're doing the same as orchestramom. Some of this is dictated by the distance from the school and flight schedules back to our hometown, which aren't as frequent as we would like. We are too far to drive. We're arriving the night before move in, a thursday. Friday is move in. Saturday there are a few parent activities and we will do any last minute purchases at Target or whatever. Sunday morning we will go home. My preferred schedule would be arrive Friday and return Saturday evening, but distance from airport, flight schedules etc don't make that possible. I'm pretty sure we'll be on our own most of the time after Friday afternoon, but that's OK.

mom60 · 08-09-2008, 12:22 PM

Freshman year- 6 hour drive- move in was in the afternoon- Day 1 drove directly to campus. Moved son in. Went to Target and dinner. Gave son the option of motel or dorm. He stayed in the dorm. The next morning we met him on campus and did the campus items. One was pay his tuition, visit with disabilities director. walk around the campus. Get him set in orientation which began at 1. We went to hear the president speak and then we left. Our plan orginally was to stay that night (night 2) in the college town but we really had nothing to do. We made a last minute decision to leave and head towards home and spent the night in another nicer town on the way home. The move in went so easily since he was attending the last session of orientation so not all the freshman were moving in that day.
This year I think they will do something similar. Husband, son and little sister will drive up leaving early. Move him in that afternoon. Husband and Sister will stay overnight and head home the next morning.
For pickup after freshman year my husband did the drive up and back in one day. It was exhausting.

CountingDown · 08-09-2008, 01:57 PM

We have an 11 hour drive, not including stops. DH and S are leaving here Wed., stopping along the way to see a good family friend. Will arrive in city Thursday afternoon. Friday DH is planning on taking S around town (he is there frequently for business) and S also plans on making some contacts about a campus job.

I'm flying out Friday afternoon. A good night's sleep seems eminently sensible in order to deal with the chaos and emotion. Move in starts at 8 AM Saturday. Turns out the hotel where we are staying is only a block & 1/2 from the dorm. (Reserved it in May, long before we knew dorm assignments.) Students go through the gate and off to their new lives right after convocation and we will go to the parents' reception. From there, a nice dinner, a good night's sleep, and we head out in the AM. Placement exams start Sunday, so we are making ourselves scarce.

In future years, we'll adjust as needed, driving out Friday and returning Sunday, or sending him out on a plane and then the Express bus which gets him directly to campus. Part of it will depend on what he brings home for the summer, which may vary depending if he's going to be here, teaching somewhere else, or attending an REU.

cbreeze · 08-10-2008, 01:33 AM

We did Option 3 when we moved our freshman D to college many moons ago. It was also a 7 hour drive. After the 2nd day, our daughter told us all parents had been gone and that we should leave too.

elizabeth · 08-10-2008, 03:50 AM

My dad left early morning after the day I moved in because we flew in. My aunt stayed another entire day and helped me get the things we needed to buy and even helped me buy my books and other stuff because she had driven up with a whole lot of stuff for my room. I really was glad she stayed the extra time.

fireandrain · 08-10-2008, 06:14 AM

Our daughter's school had two days for freshmen to move in, and activities for parents on the second day. So we stayed overnight. After moving her in, we hugged her goodbye and left to wander around and do some shopping for her at Target/BBB, etc. -- while she unpacked and met people. She was on her own for dinner.

That first night, I was amazed at the number of threesomes walking around campus together -- mom, dad, kid. Many parents took their kid out to dinner and spent the evening together. If ever there was a time to let go, it's that first day after drop off. I even knew one family whose daughter stayed in their hotel after moving all her stuff into her room.

PackMom · 08-10-2008, 09:11 AM

When we moved S1 in (2.5 hr. drive), we left early, got him all moved in, took him out to dinner and dropped him off on the sidewalk in front of his dorm and drove back home. S1 was more than ready for us to leave.

S2 moves in on Sat. for his freshman yr. We'll leave early (4 hr. drive), get him all moved in in the afternoon, then Dh and I will head to my brother's (lives nearby) to spend the night. On Sunday, DH, the dog and I will leave for a few days at the beach.

Yes, I'll be packing for a college move-in and a beach vacation at the same time. Am I nuts?

dmd77 · 08-10-2008, 09:35 AM

Packmom said:
"Yes, I'll be packing for a college move-in and a beach vacation at the same time. Am I nuts?"

And my answer is:

"No... how hard can it be to pack a few novels, a bathing suit, and a pair of flip-flops?"

Marian · 08-10-2008, 09:48 AM

Note to the OP:

Unless you already have hotel reservations and are simply thinking about decreasing your stay by a day or two, you have left things a bit late.

In many college communities, all the local hotel rooms are booked for the night before and the night after freshman move-in months in advance. You may find it necessary to stay in a hotel an hour or more away from the college, which could further influence your choices.

Heron · 08-10-2008, 09:56 AM

We have the reservations to cover all possibilities (including 4!). I made them months ago, a few blocks from the college, same hotel we stayed in on our college visit. It's just a matter of cancelling a night or two if we change out plans (soon).

'rentof2 · 08-10-2008, 12:58 PM

Day 1:
My son has to fly to school, and I'll be going with him for this first time -- after that he'll be on his own. It's a long, long trip. Three different flights, layovers. It takes from early morning (our time zone) until nearly 10 pm (the college time zone) to get there, so the first day will be all travel and we'll check into the motel late that night.

Day 2:
Next day is our free day to shop for stuff, which we have to do a fair amount of since we can't bring much from home. And also just get the lay of the land... where's the cheap haircut place? the bank?, etc. It'll be a day he and I can spend together (not on planes or wandering airports glassy-eyed), go to lunch, dinner, maybe do some brief incidental sight-seeing.

Day 3:
Next morning, early, is move-in day. The college has parent activities throughout the day. I will help him get his room set-up. After that I'll see him as much as he wants to be seen, but not more. I don't have any expectations around that and would enjoy having the time to myself just as well.

Day 4:
The college has more parent activities in the morning which parents are "encouraged to attend." Then there is lunch, after which they politely signal it's time to leave. The rest of the day I've got some museum plans (exciting to me!). I will be available by phone for the afternoon and evening if my son needs me to pick up any additional things. It's a small town and he doesn't have a car, so it'll be his last chance for getting anything the easy way... that is, via mom.

Day 5:
I spend the entire day getting back home.

So... this is really my vacation. Luckily, it's a pretty part of the world. I intend to enjoy both helping my son, but also the extra time I'll have to be somewhere new to me, free of household and work obligations, and at least part of the time on my own. I love time by myself and virtually never get any.

Due to the travel expense I'm pretty sure I won't be back there again until he graduates, so I'm not going to cut it short out of some principle of "parents, get lost!" It's a long, long way to go to just drop him and split. Once my son is in his dorm room, I'll either see him again or I won't. Either way is good with me, but I'm going to enjoy the trip!

Lafalum84 · 08-10-2008, 01:24 PM

OP, I strongly suggest option # 1. Have the one last night together at the hotel, find a nice restaurant and explore the area. Get up fresh the next day, move in early, say your goodbyes just after lunch and drive home. You won't be as pressured for time on the drive there, you'll have more time to move in to the dorm at a relaxed pace, and you won't be able to drag out the inevitable "goodbye" because you'll need to get on the road.

Option 3 will be awkward - when do you leave the dorm and go back to the hotel? Do you stop by for a quick goodbye the next day? Plus, you'll say goodbye twice, when you leave to go to the hotel, and again the next morning. Probably easier on your kid to just say goodbye once. When you leave, the kids need to be free to turn their full attention to meeting people, and not arrange their schedule to see their parents again the next morning.

We have a 5 hour drive. For S's frosh year, we did Option #1 (drove down the afternoon before). The only caveat - pack the car where you can bring anything really valuable (i.e. laptop, TV, etc) into the hotel with you for the night so it doesn't get stolen. It worked out really well.

This is S's soph year, and we are actually doing option # 3, but that's only because we have a neighborhood barbeque we want to attend the night before he moves in to college. The goodbye won't be nearly as hard this year as it was last year, especially since S has to come home in a few weeks to be his sister's Confirmation sponsor.

Heron · 08-10-2008, 07:32 PM

I'm leaning towards #4. Drive down on Wednesday. Move her in on Thursday. Leave on Friday.

When I looked at the parent orientation schedule, I realized that leaving on move-in day makes no sense. Actually it probably didn't make any sense anyway. Doing two seven hour drives in two days -- not gonna happen.