I'm Graduating From A College I Can’t Afford - NYU - Page 3

pugmadkate · 10-27-2008, 08:36 PM

I do not care how stubborn a child is. Unless the parents contributed nothing, they had some power here.

We've already told our kid that our continued financial help past age 18 is based, in part, on him not taking out more than a small amount of debt for college. If he still wants to go 20K+ in the hole, that's his choice but I'm not enabling that behavior.

ebeeeee · 10-27-2008, 08:41 PM

I'm with you pugmadkate...why don't parents want to sit these kids down and tell them what is? I would contribute nothing and let me child know of my severe disapproval of this plan.

hmom5 · 10-27-2008, 08:54 PM

These are the same people who bought houses they couldn't afford and cars, boats and second homes they couldn't afford. Anyone pass a luxury used car lot or used boat lot lately? These kids were sent to summer programs on credit cards. It all looked easy, we live well now and pay later. If we live like we're rich we'll become rich. It's just another part of the credit crisis . Mark these words: We will soon be talking about a government bailout because these kids are not going to get jobs that can pay those loans.

Can anyone name another country where these kids and prents have these outrageous education loans? I wasn't sure if her $88K even included her parent's loans!

Columbia_Student · 10-27-2008, 09:45 PM

She would do the same again, so she is not regretting.

Quote:

Did I make the right decision? Check in with me again in another 20 years. But if you ask me now, here's what I'll tell you: If I had to do it all again, I'd still make the same choice.

Heron · 10-27-2008, 10:28 PM

The "I'd still make the same choice" is just saving face. Otherwise she would feel like a complete idiot, so she rationalizes and saves face by saying it was worth it. Just about every single article on this debt topic ends with the kid saying it was worth it. Imagine how depressed they would be if they admitted that it wasn't. Of course it isn't worth it. NYU? Come on. For that matter, what colleges WOULD be worth it? How are kids going to go to colleges, most of which cost 40k a year, without coming out with a ton of debt?

And if it's anyone's fault I'd pin it on the parents. Don't parents have to cosign for student loans? Or maybe not. But if they do, then it was their responsibility to draw the line.

But I do think that banks are extremely irresponsible for lending these amounts of money to teenagers, for heaven's sake.

toblin · 10-27-2008, 10:43 PM

Bad toblin:

Please change the title of of this thread to:

I purchased a ________________ (fill in the blank) that I can't afford.

Good toblin:

Why do allot of colleges so readily turn their backs to the interests of their students and society?

hamtaro fan · 10-27-2008, 11:02 PM

Reading this article made me really grateful for the choice I made. Though under different circumstances, I turned down a "dream school" to go to a respectable LAC that is quite literally paying me to go to classes. Lately, I've been wondering what it would have been like for me to go to my dream school (which would have cost at least $50,000 over four years, taking into account need & merit based aid). For me at least, the idea of owing that much money is incomprehensible and I would certainly never be able to ask my lower-middle class parents to cover it. On a side note: I don't think that I would have been able to come to my decision if it hadn't been for a frank conversation about my family's finances (and this was even before the market downswing really hit). High school seniors and college freshman all dream big, but I think that if we don't begin to take responsibility for our financial futures now, it will soon be too late.

question_quest · 10-27-2008, 11:41 PM

^
Are my parents the only ones who REFUSE to talk to me about college finances? Seriously, I don't get it.

And just out of curosity, how'd you get merit aid above the COA?

fireandrain · 10-28-2008, 01:57 AM

This story just emphasizes for me how much I wish all schools covered 100% of financial need. That's the only reason I "blame" NYU -- I wish it devoted more resources towards financial aid.

I've gone to info sessions where HS guidance counselors and financial aid people urged everyone to apply because there are financial aid opportunities for everyone. I don't consider huge loans to be financial aid, and I don't think students are adequately informed about the impact of large loans. I don't think most students are informed about how many colleges don't meet their financial need.

This story is just another example why many students should not apply early decision. She should have applied to a range of schools, compared packages, and then made a decision.

I think her "dream that came true" will eventually become a nightmare.

MidwestMom2Kids_ · 10-28-2008, 07:44 AM

It is not a nightmare for her yet but it will be in a few years.

cptofthehouse · 10-28-2008, 10:02 AM

Of course she does not yet regret it. She is not paying the consequences of her decision yet. In the next ten years when she is paying off the loans, she will have a much better idea of how it feels to pay off that kind of debt. When she can't rent an apartment she wants, can't buy anything, can't get a car, maybe can't afford to take a great job because of her financial predicament. My friend's daughter is working as a waitress instead of in her field because she could not afford to take a starter job with the loans she has and staying her in NYC. So she has a NYU degree and has been waitressing for two years. Just hope the recession doesn't cut into her pay from that. She has really be spinning wheels these two years and no one is happy about it. Not like she is living high on the hog either. Barely making it really, but can live in Manhattan if she does this.

I know a woman who turned down some top schools for a 4 year full ride and a masters on top of it at a local college. She has some regrets and hopes her kids can go out and experience college farther away than she did. She feels she was cheated out of the traditional college experience and her life has been rather plodding, something that would have had an excitement blip and some other possibilities had she gone away to some of those schools as her sister did. In the end, both have similar lives, actually, but the one who did go away and accrued the debts and had her parent scrimp, pay and borrow, got the experience out of the deal which she feels to this day was worth the price.

In my case, I have to say that the loans H and I took out really defined the directions of our lives as that is how we met, at an expensive private college neither of us could afford. The loans for prof school made it possible to get jobs that paid the student loans and are responsible for our current lifestyle. Worth it? I don't know. THere were some really lean years there paying back those loans, and those numbers are nothing compared to what this young lady at NYU is facing for an undergrad degree alone.

I really don't know if it would be worth it. You see, the amounts borrowed back then were often equivalent to a year or two salary, which was doable. Now tuition costs are higher than many families make in a year, and to borrow the money means borrowing more than you can even gross in a year when you are out. I know families who are looking askance at medical school these days, because the cost/benefit is not coming out so well, and you are going to be employed and make a decent salary as a doctor. No such guarantee for the vast majority of undergraduates.

Yet there is a part of me that says if the kid enjoyed the experience, did well, it is worth it for me as a parent to stretch and pay it. I am torn on the subject.

But I would not go on what the student is saying right now. She is not yet paying back the loan and going through the difficulties that entails. Until you live it, you cannot say what is worth it.

mom2and · 10-28-2008, 10:28 AM

FireandRain: It is not clear if the calculated need matched the parents willingness to pay. For my son, the calculated expected contribution is way above what we are willing or able to pay also living in a high cost area with other kids to educate and retirement to think about. My son had to pick a school that offered him merit aid or go to a state school. I think tuition is ridiculously high, but not sure it is NYU's fault as they clearly have plenty of students willing to pay.

blossom · 10-28-2008, 10:59 AM

You know, there are a lot of people who are "house poor". I don't mean right now with the state of the mortgage business and the real estate market-- I mean chronically. They spend their lives trading up every time their income goes up; they often cannot afford to enjoy the nice neighborhoods they live in because the costs of staying there are so high. My cousin is a real estate agent in Larchmont/Mamaroneck NY and often reports on these gorgeous tudor estate homes which look like they were furnished from IKEA. House is worth over a million dollars and they've got folding chairs around a laminate table in the dining room waiting for when they can afford the good stuff.

Why is this deemed socially acceptable but paying for private college not? I don't think I would ever take out a mortgage for what the banks say I could afford- house is just not that important to me and there are so many other things that are (including donating to charity, helping family members when they get into trouble financially... things that don't show up on a mortgage application.) On the other hand, if someone wants to forgo discretionary spending in every other area to pay their mortgage, who am I to criticize????

Similarly... if young people have to live without cable TV, a car, cellphones, vacations, etc. in order to pay off tuition loans- I say it's their right to do so. Don't expect the waitress down the street working the night shift at the diner to pay higher taxes to bail you out when you decide you'd rather not pay off your obligations... but as long as you're not asking the rest of us to subsidize your decision, who cares????

taxguy · 10-28-2008, 12:41 PM

I can't believe people are blaming NYU. Come on! Schools are businesses! They all want to encourage folks to apply in order to boost their admission stats and to fill up their classes. In addition, only a few schools have endowments equivalent to Harvard or Yale. Others can't afford to give all of the aid that would be necessary.

Yes, the parents should have put their foot down more. However, they too are blindsighted by a system that says "go to the best college with the best cache at any cost." High school information sessions certainly encourage this type of thinking.

I really do feel sad for this girl. She will have her dream become a reality nightmare in a short time.

cptofthehouse · 10-28-2008, 12:49 PM

Buying a big, expensive house is a family thing. More than one person benefits from it and if you truly live in your house as I do, they benefit all of the time. We are one of those folks that bought a big, expensive house, and filled it with IKEA furniture and curbside discards. Made no sense to get anything else with 5 active boys. The house was a boon to our entire family as we are a large boisterous group. We had the grandmoms living here through a crisis. My brothers took refuge here. My oldest came back home for a while. My husband ran a business from the house. Having the big house made it easier on everyone 24/7 as there was plenty of space for everyone. It was a good use of our money at the time.

Now I wish I could sell it as things have changed. But in it's time it was a good choice to have made as it did contribute greatly to the quality of a lot of people's lives. Sending a kid of to a private college is not going to have as much impact on as many people.