Soliciting advice from Parents in a similar solution
My son is a senior in high school and it has become extremely difficult for us to get him to do anything for himself. He says he hates work, which is really odd considering he does no work at all. He is managing to stay above water for now with B grades in all subjects. With extreme reluctance he has done a shoddy job on his essays for colleges. He skips attending classes if he can. He has been extremely surly and rude when we recommend that he at least put in the bare minimum to get by. He spent all his money for eating out and overspent on his debit card and collected huge penalties. He was too lazy to check the balances on his debit card before using it and hence the overspending. He refuses to discuss anything saying that he is stressed out.
On our part we tried working with him. We offered for him pull out of school for a year. He refused saying that he can handle it. Though he is extremely bright, considering he does not want to work, we suggested that a vocational school may be good for him. He scorned that idea saying he wants to be a doctor. We explained to him that it requires several years of hard work inside and outside of school and since he has not shown any propensity to put in any hard work he ought to perhaps reconsider it. He believes he will do fine. He is constantly putting off doing work, getting stressed because of that, lying about work to his teachers and us, getting more stressed as a result and ultimately using rudeness as a tool to get people from talking to him. There is a huge disparity in life he thinks he will be able to lead and the reality of what his work ethic will enable him.
No, he is not doing drugs or alcohol. We know for sure. Essentially, he has been building a web of lies about him and believing it and using extreme rudeness as a way of keeping his parents and any caring friends away from him. He refuses to communicate. At times though , he admits what he is doing is wrong and the he knows he should be working and keeps getting distracted all the time.
He refused to discuss counseling at school. We will have to have a professional counselor meet with him. Any recommendations on how we determine the type of professional help we can use and have any of you that may have been in a similar situation had any success. Could it be a medical problem?
As much as we want to back off and let life mete out his just desserts, we are having difficulty ignoring the situation. He is only seventeen and we would hate to see him punished for the rest of his life for his short sightedness and missed opportunities.