Parents of the class of '09, what were the oversights during the college process?

[ingerp]

I primarily wanted to give missypie a shout-out for re-posting that kid on the couch thing. I think I actually did a decent job with DS#1 (now a happy college freshman) but DS#2 is a hs junior and SUCH a different kid. I feel like I'm starting from ground zero again.

And I really don't feel like I made many mistakes, but would say that you really need to consider the kid in undertaking this journey. For every parent who says, "Start those college visits during junior year (or before)!" there's another who says "I don't know why I dragged my kid to XX while he was a junior. He had no interest yet and it was a waste of time." For every parent who says "Lock them in their rooms until they finish that big essay!" there's another saying, "Relax. This kid has always done things last minute; in fact probably performs better with a little deadline pressure." There is no benefit in getting a complete application in three months early if it stresses out you/your kid/the household.

My big mantra is have a happy year with your senior child. In the overwhelming majority of cases, it all works out just fine. (Despite all of the handwringing, not because of it.) (So try not to wring those hands too much.)

[JerseyShoreMom]

I don't think we made any mistakes but I will point out things that we did to help D find the right school:

Make sure the school has their major. Once you find schools, determine what part of the country you are comfortable sending them to. My H did not want to see D go to California or too far west, that the time difference and the airfare that far away would add too much to the cost of college.

APPLY EARLY! APPLY EARLY! APPLY EARLY! Thank you to all CC'ers who advised us to APPLY EARLY! I told D in July, when we were touring schools in Florida, that I wanted her to apply in August (when the applications became available online). She fought me on it but I didn't back down, she couldn't understand why she had to apply before Christmas. Every night, I asked her how essays were coming along, etc. Finally, by the end of September all of her applications to 10 schools were in. I don't think she would have gotten quite a response back (7 acceptances, 3 deferrals) if she waited to apply in December. She realized that too and by October and November, was helping her friends apply.

LOVE YOUR SCHOOLS! D and I went over her list of schools with a fine tooth comb. Too rural? Snowy climate? Less than 2k students? These were all schools she was not interested in attending so we immediately wrote them off. I know my daughter, she would have been MISERABLE at a snowbelt school.

VISIT YOUR SCHOOLS!! I remember the first list of schools that looked GREAT on paper. When we visited, OH BOY! I can name a handful of schools that were knocked off the list by driving by or doing a tour. Be sure to visit your schools BEFORE you apply! We planned a week long trip to Florida, did not step foot in DisneyWorld, but we visited 9 colleges that week. Fun road trip, especially when you bring siblings - NOT! Anyway, it was a good learning experience for my 12-year old D, who by the end of the week would say, "I love this school" or "I don't like this area".

D took the SATs and the ACT at least 4 times each in a 7 month period, hoping to better her scores. She raised her score very little. I would not have done that again, I would have had her take the SAT and ACT in Spring of Junior year, decided which she was more comfortable in taking, then scheduled another at the end of Junior year and beginning of senior yea.

KNOW YOUR DEADLINES! If we didn't have a complete list of schools by August or September, we would have never realized that one school had an early October deadline in the first round. We were able to meet that deadline but I noticed that D's friends weren't even thinking of what colleges to apply to in September or October. Glad we were on the ball with that, which goes back to APPLY EARLY! APPLY EARLY!

[missypie]

I totally agree with the "apply early" mantra. Funny thing happens....December comes, then you're on winter break as are your teachers and GCs....if you save your apps until then and you need anything from anyone at school, guess what, they're not there!

[cindysphinx]

Disagree strongly with the advice to skip prep classes.

I think a lot of people get burned with inadequate prep. Unless you have reason to know you will ace the test, spend whatever it takes on good prep.

We used a private tutor, at $275 an hour. Money well spent, for sure.

Contrast this with cousin, who had good grades but took no prep course. Her scores on SAT were so low her parents couldn't bear to tell us what they were. She was so devastated that she did not re-take or apply to 4-year colleges. She went to community college for a while and is now on hiatus from that.

[missypie]

I'm liking the private tutor idea for my next child. We took Son to an expensive private prep course. His 10th grade PSAT was strong. He just needed a bit of a bump to get into national merit territory. As the course progressed, I noticed that while his math practice test scores were going up, verbal was going down. The prep place had a million answers for why everything would be okay. When he took the PSAT for real in 11th grade, his verbal scores went down about as much as his math scores went up, for a net score increase of only 2 points. By the time we got the results, he'd already taken the SAT and his scores were similar. I told him to keep going to the school for math and to forget everything they had taught him in verbal. A few months later, he raised his math score by 70 points and his verbal by 50. So....prep classes can help and hurt. Pay attention.

[MiamiDAP]

According to my D, she did much better preparing herself and totally wasted her time in SAT prep class. I agree completely that preparation is extremely important. However, prep. class is way to general, each kid needs to address their own personal issues. D. developed her own prep. strategy that reflected her needs that worked very well for her on her first try. She did not do very well in SAT, did much better in ACT. I would advise to take both. And, again, please, study for PSAT. Not studying for PSATwas huge mistake.

[Youdon'tsay]

Excellent thread! Thanks, everyone, for the hindsight.

[missypie]

According to my D, she did much better preparing herself and totally wasted her time in SAT prep class. I agree completely that preparation is extremely important. However, prep. class is way to general, each kid needs to address their own personal issues. D. developed her own prep. strategy that reflected her needs that worked very well for her on her first try.

Again, know your own child, weigh the options and figure out what will be best for the college bound student who lives in your house. It's laughable to think what my son's "self study" strategy would have been....open book...get a snack...go back to book...text your friend...back to book....hey, I've been here an hour [counting snack and texts]...time for a study break...play video game....lose track of time....you get it.

[MiamiDAP]

If you cannot trust them with this tiny and very easy test, what will happen in college when they are on their own, when attendance is practically optional and so forth.....
Maybe it is very good time to assess if they are even ready to be out of home while in college. If not, results could be quite devastating.

[Kelowna]

Originally Posted by missypie

It's laughable to think what my son's "self study" strategy would have been....open book...get a snack...go back to book...text your friend...back to book....hey, I've been here an hour [counting snack and texts]...time for a study break...play video game....lose track of time....you get it.

My S must be living in your house

[CountingDown]

Take those SAT-IIs early. Finish all standardized testing junior year. Take a slightly easier schedule fall semester of senior year, esp. if submitting papers to competitions (research, creative writing, etc.). What is "easier" can simply be challenging courses in the area(s) your S/D is interested in, which may keep them focused on academics but doing well.

Oder a copy of the transcript to check everything BEFORE you request them for all the applications. S's transcript had errors both junior and senior year.

Check on FA deadlines for EA schools. I completely forgot that one school wanted FA info in November of senior year so they could send out estimates shortly after EA acceptances. I was only a few days late, but I found out on CC that I had missed the boat. Had I not been here, it could have been more serious.

EA and rolling admissions are your friend -- you can test the waters or have choices early. Don't be afraid to change the list if circumstances warrant -- by December we knew S would choose between one of four schools, and two accepted him EA. We should have wihtdrawn from all the others except the two RDs he was interested in. (This advice varies on your need for FA, merit, etc. Three of his four offered enough merit to make it feasible for us.)

[missypie]

I second the caution to check the transcript. There has been at least one error in every transcript Son has brought home.

[FindAPlace]

Missypie:

Yeah, sometimes my S exhibits such "study habits" as well. At least with his piano practices, we can hear what's going on.

For the SAT II tests, the student should get ahold of a study guide to review. The AP classes hew closer to what's found on the AP exams than other classes do to what's found on the SAT II tests. This shouldn't take too much time, especially if the student is taking the SAT II test shortly after taking the class, which has been recommended many times over on this thread. This can mean, in some cases, taking the test at the end of the sophomore year.

[sneakers1234]

We didn't even know about SAT IIs until end of Jr year. Guidance was a real waste, kept telling DS he needed more safeties. He said he wasn't applying to someplace he didn't want to go to. That gave me a pit in my stomach. They said apply to 8.

He applied to 4. Got in 3, last one doesn't tell til March.
Was the kid overconfident or was guidance a chicken? who knows. I just felt they were out of touch.

With 2nd kid I will have SAT IIs taken right after a course, even if it's only sophomore year.

[CountingDown]

Study guides for SAT-II are also good in case the class doesn't cover everything that the SAT-II test will.