Parents of the College Class of 2013 - Page 358

geek_mom · 10-30-2009, 11:01 AM

We don't get a PW until February.

But I get to see my kiddo in person soon.

Busy week and it's still going. Glad to hear of kiddos recovering; hope the rest will soon. Have a great weekend everyone.

oregon101 · 10-30-2009, 11:59 AM

Asked S if he ever checked his mailbox (sent a postcard from Maui 10 days ago)...uh, no, "but I will". By the way using the computer to text him is fabulous! I forgot to tell him that I was doing that and we were going back and forth in our usual infuriatingly annoying way (he is so stubborn

) and I left the computer and did not have my cell so he no doubt thought I had just stopped answering my phone. It was hours later that I saw his response. SO he actually called to argue with me. He is coming home this weekend to spend Holloween with GF. He is also wanting to avoid the heavy party weekend. He is taking the last train back at 9pm and cannot see why this is not a good plan. It is only only one hour but...what if he misses it due to a flat tire,etc. Trains get delayed, they get stopped...and I could not think of all this last night but just got so annoyed with his insistence....
Seems like all I do is complain about this kid

.
Ok now I am trying to think of something lighthearted and funny to say but am coming up empty. Oh--he is bring his roomate home for Thanksgiving so at least I know he will be more pleasant with an audience.

TheAnalyst · 10-30-2009, 12:10 PM

Although S is definitely better now, that flu bug hit at a very inconveniet time for the internship with the Oct. 31 application deadline. He would have had to order the official transcript last Monday or Tuesday for it to be received in time. Although I think he could still give it a shot with a sob story cover letter on being sick, he is in Halloween mode today and "not feeling it". I'm going to be sad for a few days. This was a cryptography internship position with the NSA; my military position as a cryptographer back in the 1970's worked closely with the NSA, so it got me excited but I guess S can take it or leave it. They want engineering students, welcome freshman, and I thought he had a chance. It would have gotten him a clearance, which would have positioned him well for next year with private sector defense contractors. Oh well. He has agreed to apply to other internships after he gets his first semester grades and give this a shot for the summer after his sophomore year. For others thinking about internships with the federal government for next year, their application window seems to be Aug. 31 to Oct. 31.

I hope everybody enjoys their parent's week-ends. H goes back out to see S next week-end for a football game. I sure wish they could move his school a lot closer and then I would go as well.

SJTH, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's daughter. My older one eventually found friends through his part-time job, so if she isn't too overwhelmed by classes that might be an avenue to explore. Modadunn, second the appreciation here. Your support when S was ill and out of touch was exactly what I needed.

oregon101 · 10-30-2009, 06:18 PM

where is everyone today?
TA--sorry your S did not go for the internship for now--sounds like he will eventually.
S is home now and is trying to offer some info and talk

so maybe the weekend will be a good one.

TheAnalyst · 10-30-2009, 06:37 PM

oregon, I'm here. I love your story on the texting. I have started using it to text S2 to say I have sent him an email. I keep expecting him to tell me to stop already but so far he has seemed to like it. Let me know what you learn from your S. Always great when they will talk to you.

A neighbor was sharing some stories about her son today (a freshman) and I was surprised at how casually he is taking his classes and the mother's relaxed attitude about it. I told S that if I had stories to share about my son walking in late to class to find a test he forgot about going on and walking right out, I would not be relating the story as something cute that happened. S tells me that most of his friends don't have it too hard with the exception of the commercial art major at VCU. That one apparently is working like a dog. Very interesting to hear about the divergent experiences.

WVU game comes on TV at 8:00 and H and I are going to the UVA/Duke game tomorrow (even though S1 isn't even there). At least football season is relatively short. Basketball season goes on forever.

downtoearth · 10-31-2009, 09:10 PM

My D was suprised at the amount of kids who put off writing papers until night before. She does hers ahead of time , as far a researcha nd outlines etc... I guess that expensive school i sent her to did some good? I least I keep telling myself that. I did recoup my investment in her scholarship. One thing I am glad of is this college bit is over, I told her a friend of hers who is very competative and took a gap is applying to IVY, she said besides the fact the kid would rub it in her face she didnt care hoped the best for her, and that she was very happy where she was. that was nice to hear. I lreally like who she has become. Just had to say that.

oregon101 · 10-31-2009, 10:08 PM

downtoearth--sounds like you have one nice D. My S is clearly trying to be nice. He is an very quiet guy so this is a huge struggle for him but I actually see him stepping up today. The funny story is that he was such a brat at PW that when we offered to take him for steak (we are vegetarians so this was nice

of us) and had researched where to go, etc. and he pulled his "I don't care" stuff we just went cheap somewhere else. So last night he shares that he went with a friend and their g'parents to this great steak place (the place I had reservations and canceled) and when I told him he even "got it" (his attitude, etc.) and laughed at himself. Or so I thought

Modadunn · 11-01-2009, 07:30 AM

Oregon - don't feel badly about S not getting your postcard. I am still not sure if son has yet to pick up an entire box of raisin oatmeal cookies (granted, they tasted good, but presentation questionable) and they were sent a week ago yesterday! He called on friday only to start the conversation by chastising me about texting him random questions. Let's just say, he changed the subject pretty quickly following my response. Sometimes it's like time hasnt moved an inch in that if he is having a rough day, I get the brunt of it somehow, even two thousand miles away! All of this to say, however, I will try to save up some of my questions from now on to reach compromise.

Looking forward to hearing how our latest round (and except for the feb), the last of PW goes for everyone. I spent the last week cleaning my office/den. While for some reason I still saved all of the acceptance letters, I just now tossed all the other information we had on all the other colleges and condensed files from the last 10 years for all three of the kids. I admit I save a lot of crap, but I guess that's because my parents purged the house I grew up in and I have nothing from my growing up years except for birth records etc. My kids will likely be perplexed when I hand over all these things in years to come, but they'll also secretly enjoy them. Maybe.

The point is, I still ended up throwing away (recycling) or burning three garbage bags worth of paper.

shawbridge · 11-01-2009, 08:35 AM

Talked to ShawbridgeSon yesterday to let him know I was going to be out of town again. He told me he'd taken his 2nd math midterm (there seem to be two) and thought it had gone well. He was using the day of Saturday to do the rest of his homework and would study Saturday night (despite lots of Halloween parties) and Sunday day for his economics 2nd Economics mid-term on Sunday. He has become good at this kind of planning -- he started preparing for the first midterm on Wednesday.

He's almost always polite with us, unless we question his ability to manage his work and life. While he doesn't have the eating habits we'd like, he appears to be moving in the same direction -- very good grades, professors impressed with his thinking. So, I don't challenge and my wife, who sometimes does, always has to back down when confronted with the facts. I recall last year when my wife asked him if he was studying enough for his SATs and he responded, "Have I ever not succeeded at something I said I was going to do?" "Uhmm, no. You always succeed when you tell us you will." "Then leave me alone to handle it." Tail wagging between legs. (He did stunningly well for a dyslexic kid).

Oregon, he succeeds by ignoring many aspects of life. Picking up postcards (or cookies) from the post office would be 17th on the priority list and he only seems to have 4 things on the list: success in school, enjoying (and succeeding in) a very few extracurriculars, making and keeping up with a few close friends, and family. I think many boys (and perhaps girls) managing the change by not doing "extraneous" things. I suspect it is a matter of degree, with my son being on the extreme end. [He hasn't yet tried his new bank card and is surviving on cash he's gotten when he visited home and his college cash card that enables late night pizza]. Maybe your son is doing the same.

shawbridge · 11-01-2009, 08:44 AM

Here's a question: On an interesting note, next weekend is Parents Weekend and he told me he'd prefer to come home for the weekend and spend time with us. "I'm sure you won't miss anything. They're just setting you up to ask for money. And, I can spend more real time with you at home." What do you say to that? ShawbridgeMom really wants to go. But, I've been to the campus a few times, met with administrators a couple of times, and she's only been there to drop him off. I think we both want to see a little more about his new life -- who his friends are, etc. -- but I don't feel as strongly about it.

Treetopleaf · 11-01-2009, 08:52 AM

Can you ask him to show you both around on another weekend?

shawbridge · 11-01-2009, 08:56 AM

Good suggestion, Treetopleaf. We can ask and he'd probably say yes. I'll ask my wife, although I don't know if it would satisfy my wife who has heavy-duty social needs and likes the big events (even though the sessions are useless).

SJTH · 11-01-2009, 09:01 AM

Shawbridge, I think that's a great idea. The two PWs we went to for S1 basically meant going to the football game and, last year, a silent auction at the frat afte dinner with a couple of friends and their parents. We didn't get to stay close to campus, and didn't participate in any other activities. Last Spring, however, when I visited with S2 (during auditions) we had a GREAT time, stayed close to campus, met lots of kids and I took 9 grateful boys to dinner. It was MUCH better without all the hullaballoo.

Modadunn · 11-01-2009, 09:53 AM

As a mom I can only suggest we like to put names to faces. And even better if we can shake hands with a parent or two as well. Given that any other weekend there won't logically be a lot other parents around, sometimes it does a mom's heart good to see that all is well. While I could have stood a little more together time with son, there was something about just peeking into his day to day life that seems to have relaxed with his being "on his own." In our case, this is a relative term since he still likes money.

And it's fine by me if checking his mailbox is the last thing on his list because believe me, it's a lot easier to NOT send stuff. I suppose I have been getting mixed messages and so I wont send anything more unless specifically asked. The one thing I know is that son needs no more pressure than he is probably already under.

downtoearth · 11-01-2009, 10:48 AM

I coouldnt go tp PW and was sad . but plan to go on another weekend. I think it will be easier without other parents to compete for restaurant reservations etc... but I'm with Shawbridge wife and Modadun. I didnt really plan to go to all the programs. I did go to a 3 day parent orientaton in June so that prob was enough. I miss my D.
Funny she went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at her school with all the acting but no throwing of things.. She thought it was hysterical she had never seen it until that day saw a dvd prior. We had it on VCR but she was too young in our eyes at that time, and never bought it in DVD. funny how some things transcend generations.