For the first time ever I feel like I have to nag my daughter... - Page 5

2Leashes · 07-08-2009, 05:38 AM

This is good to know, especially coming from someone who who is in the profession. Thanks! Now I hope she can continue these good habits in the next year and throughout college. :-)
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Mamadrama wrote:

2Leashes,

Sounds like she's already practicing what she will learn in OT school......how to balance work-play/leisure-self care. It's hard to teach it to others if you can't practice it yourself. Good for her, she'll be fine.

(From an OT)

Redmondo · 07-08-2009, 11:34 AM

jbusc, if you look for credible, established and respected news sources you can get away from the sensationalist slant found in many rags and on some television channels. I hate it when you can tell how obviously a network is hyping a story just to get more viewers.

*cough*CNN*cough*

jzend001 · 07-13-2009, 12:23 AM

I skipped through a lot of posts, but I can tell you that I was just like your daughter in school. Very motivated, in gifted classes since 3rd grade, AP classes in high school, etc.

Looking back on it, I wish that I wouldve backed off myself. I was so burnt out by the time I got to college that I actually felt a little lost in college. Its bad to be burnt out at the beginning out college. Let her be a high school student and have some leniency. It is the only time she will be able to do this.

Also, I think a lot of smart kids who really worry about their grades and test scores can sometimes lose themselves in all of it. All through elementary and secondary school I was so good at doing whatever was expected of me. If you gave me a task, I could complete it, no matter how much work it took. Once I got to college though, things changed. People didnt just give me tasks to complete. Instead, I was now in a position to choose which tasks I wanted to do (i.e. pick a major). To this day I'm still confused about it. I spent so many years perfecting how to meet others expectations that I barely learned how to just follow my own path.

Be lenient on your daughter. She sounds way above average and it actually might be a good thing that she's becoming a little more normal. There is life beyond test scores and homework, ya know.

emgamac · 07-13-2009, 01:08 AM

My D has finished her senior year and we are in the summer before her freshman year at Stanford. She has spent most of the time since graduation (last day of class was May 14) either traveling, hanging out or reading. She is actually reading her summer reading books sent to her by the University. I didn't even have to nag. Boy am I surprised. I figured she'd start the three books on September 1..after all...orientation doesn't start until Sept 15. What's the big deal?!

I can relate to the confusion over the change and resistance. This is part of the process. My advice is simple. Make subtle suggestions and let her own the process. As hard as that is, remember that she is the one applying to college. She is the one that has to deal with her decisions. My D put me in my place (in a respectful manner) when she said, "This is my essay, not yours. You've made so many changes that it isn't my voice anymore!!" I clicked the undo button and closed the computer. Looking back, I must admit she was right and I was wrong. I may not tell her that until she is a parent with a high school student.

As for test scores: Her first pass at the SAT was 1850 and ACT was 28 in her junior year. She never took the SAT again but focused on the ACT. She book a test prep book and did it herself. Second ACT was a 32 and she took it one last time and got a 34. I talked her out of another ACT try. D was accepted to Berkeley, UCI, UC Davis, Carnegie Mellon, BU and Stanford. If your D wants those schools, it's up to her. Best of luck!!!

fairy_dreams · 07-13-2009, 03:29 AM

I'm only a high school student so I apologize if I'm ruining your thread :]

But as a teenage girl, I also do not enjoy reading newpapers. I only like the editorials and opinion page. However, I have found that I really enjoy reading magazines (no, not Cosmo Girl or Seventeen). They contain practically the same stuff (but not as mundane because they are usually issued once every week), but it is a thousand times more enjoyable. My favorite is Time (the red border is so catchy :]) and I just cannot wait to read it every Friday. If you don't already subscribe to magazines, this could be another way to get your daughter to read.

And instead of trying to get her to read the newspaper, maybe you could try reading through it yourself and find an interesting/intellectual article. Then suggest it to her in an open manner, "Hey, this article is really interesting. Take a look!". If you ask her to "read the newspaper" it translates into "read the whole newspaper" which turns it into a chore. However, if you introduce her an article one at a time, she might find it more appealing. I know I would :]

Also, if she is having trouble with the tough vocabulary, ask her if she would be willing to work on it a little using a prep book. Direct Hits has scored first place consistently with having the most actual SAT vocabulary words (there is a thread made after every SAT that compares all the SAT vocab prep books and Direct Hits is first place in all of them).

qialah · 07-13-2009, 10:17 AM

2leashes: Obviously, it's a minority opinion, but I'm right there with you on the newspaper thing. I have "suggested" to her that she ought to be able to find one article a day in the New York Times that she's interested in reading. It drives me crazy that DD gets her news from Stephen Colbert.

mmaah · 07-13-2009, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Also, I think a lot of smart kids who really worry about their grades and test scores can sometimes lose themselves in all of it. All through elementary and secondary school I was so good at doing whatever was expected of me. If you gave me a task, I could complete it, no matter how much work it took. Once I got to college though, things changed. People didnt just give me tasks to complete. Instead, I was now in a position to choose which tasks I wanted to do (i.e. pick a major). To this day I'm still confused about it. I spent so many years perfecting how to meet others expectations that I barely learned how to just follow my own path.

jzend001: This is a concise and articulate statement about a condition that besets way too many bright and talented kids, I think. One major cause of anxiety and depression in college is the sudden discovery that the developmental task of independent path finding got skipped or discouraged in high school. So some wandering around and wayfinding while still at home makes for a happier experience in college. Thanks for sharing your view.

MiamiDAP · 07-13-2009, 01:08 PM

OP - AP English teacher is unreasonable. I would tell my D to lighten up and enjoy her summer before she actually needs to take the most crueling AP class in her HS carrier. My D's AP English was much more challenging than her college Honor English (reguirement of Honors porgram), which was na easy "A", except it was still time consuming because of number of books that they had to read. But, D does not like to read novels at all.

SlitheyTove · 07-13-2009, 01:24 PM

Another newspaper/written news fan who agrees with fairy_dreams and qialah on alternative ways to get your D to read something news-related. The New Yorker works for some teens, plus there are the witty cartoons

I've also had some luck with passing on specific articles from Atlantic Monthly and Smithsonian (lots of great photography), among others. Or, passing on something I've read online. Some teens are more receptive to reading hardcopy, while others prefer it on a screen.

mathmom · 07-13-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

It drives me crazy that DD gets her news from Stephen Colbert.

S2 gets his news from the online comic xkcd forums. I'll chime in with others - I don't think that there is anything magical about newspaper reading - especially given the quality of the writing in most newspapers. But I do think fairy_dreams idea of occasionally recommending an article has merit. She might enjoy things like New York Times articles on fashion or film - or Alessandra Stanley's articles on television. (Stanley is a Harvard grad, btw.)

I also think it would be worth trying to figure out where the low (compared to the grades) verbal score is coming from. Both my kids have the opposite phenomena - B students in English with stellar scores, which I attribute to the fact that they both read a lot outside the classroom - nearly all sci fi and fantasy - nothing esoteric - but good for developing vocab and reading speed. Analyzing some practice tests or ordering the question and answer service if it was available for the round of SAT your daughter took, can help identify where the problems lies.