Who else is sending their last kid away in the fall (class of 2013)? - Page 2

mom2three · 07-11-2009, 09:46 AM

Son 3 starts in late August. Son 1 graduates a couple of weeks before that. I am more worried that Son 1 will return than that I will be sad about an empty nest.

I'm with Any1Can - we've had a pretty intense 22 years of hands-on parenting. SAHM, 10 years of homeschooling, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, etc., etc.... I'm ready to get my house back and have the boys come home and VISIT - as often as they want!

I'm ready for the next stage - a little empty nesting with DH, seeing the boys start their own lives....

Maybe I'll get misty when son 2 actually starts college, but it didn't happen at Prom, or graduation, or anything else yet. Maybe it's the intensity of having 3 stairstep kids, but as each stage ended we've always been READY for the next one.

'rentof2 · 07-11-2009, 12:30 PM

I also have spent many years in immersion parenting -- stay-at-home mom, homeschooling, and kids with heavy EC committments -- and I always thought that, while I loved the experience, when its season was past there was a life of my own to get back to. I still think that, but not the same way I used to, I guess.

It is striking me as a passage that should come, and must come, and that will have its own rewards... but I still feel quite sad to see my youngest and my only daughter leave.

And I'm happy, too, for her. She is really excited by it all.

Singersmom07 · 07-11-2009, 12:43 PM

DD, youngest of 4, is a rising Junior so my supposedly empty nest was supposed to start 2 years ago. After a brief adjustment and missing her terribly, I enjoyed it for about 3 months. DH and I had so much freedom to do and eat what we wanted, when we wanted. then S3 came home and the nest has not been empty since. Boomerangs. this economy is tough on those trying to get started.

ebeeeee · 07-11-2009, 02:32 PM

rentof2, ditto here. Youngest and only daughter leaving in mid August.

LasMa · 07-11-2009, 06:01 PM

Only child is leaving in 6 weeks.

I've been bracing myself for a long time for Empty Nest, but I hadn't anticipated Last Summer Syndrome -- such an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I just want to grab on tight and never let her go. The next, I can't get her out of the house soon enough! (Am I the only one?)

We're having an Empty Nest Dry Run this weekend. D is off to San Francisco with friends, no chaperone. My initial instinct was to say No, but as she correctly pointed out, 3 months from now she could go away for a weekend with her college buddies and I'd never even know, much less have veto power. So I let her go, and am choosing to look at this weekend as practice for both of us (although I couldn't resist a few motherly pointers, which irritated her no end). I even waived the "Call me when you get there" requirement. But she did text when she got there which made me happy.

jtennis · 07-12-2009, 05:59 AM

Both of mine will now be in college and I am not looking forward to the "empty nest". I have been blessed to have two great kids and will be sorry to have them both gone. So glad I have my dog, who is 11 but needs the attention of a toddler...! Hope he hangs around for awhile! H doesn't seem to be bothered by it--is it just me or are most mothers the ones who ride the emotional roller coaster?

galwaymom · 07-12-2009, 08:24 AM

Empty nest for me, too, as s heads off next month. It will additionally be much harder with him leaving than it was when my rising senior d left, because of the Crohn's disease that he was diagnosed with and has battled through HS. He picked the farthest away school, too, in Notre Dame (14 hours away!)- and will have to get back and forth to a Chicago hospital himself for his ongoing IV treatments that take several hours, thankfully now only every 6 weeks. Boston would have been alot easier, but he has never picked the easy paths, and said he was "100 % sure" he was making the right choice.

Saying goodbye to this child will be tough, to say the least!

any1can · 07-12-2009, 10:11 AM

Wow galwaymon! How difficult it must be to let S go! It would be totally normal to want to keep him close. You did a good job since he feels independent enough to want to venture so far away. Be proud of yourself!

mmaah · 07-12-2009, 10:39 AM

When friends ask what I am thinking about having an "empty nest" I say I think of it as a "quiet nest"....I know it will feel odd--but with me, husband, dog, 2 cats and kids returning for 2-3 week episodes now and then I think "empty" sounds too grim. And work and other things I like to do will keep me busy and I will not have to cook for a vegetarian.

My second child and only daughter will be leaving mid-August. I feel ready but like it has all come very fast. And I have waves of poignant nostalgia for when mine were little and I'm sure there will be teary moments. There will also be plenty of things I will not miss! (I started a thread on that theme in the Cafe awhile ago.)

But it also feels meant to be and lucky to be happening. Having sent my son off previously, I know they do manage even when you worry they are clueless.

My daughter, much to our surprise, decided to follow her brother to his LAC, where he will be a senior. So I do have some envy that they will be having some fun there together and I will not get to witness any of it..And she will ask him for help/advice if needed, not me....But overall, it is good....AND I am really glad there is this forum thread to belong to...

Faline2 · 07-12-2009, 11:00 AM

Our second and last son will be going to college in August in the town where we both did our graduate studies, Nashville. This is a most unexpected outcome, but brings with it a return for us to visits in a town where we enjoy many friends from our 20s and 30s..now all grown up but still compadres from our own beginnings.
Our firstborn is home temporarily with the "Job No Longer Exists Flu" epidemic..you know the one "going around"? In October 08, he accepted a wonderful job in a major city to begin June after graduation. Immediately after graduation, he was told the job offer was rescinded/delayed since there was no longer enough business to support new hires. Maybe in 2010?
So my expected empty nest has a temporary young adult back in it. Last night we drove up to a wonderful retreat to hear chamber music together and I enjoyed a rare semi grown up evening with my college grad. So the distractions of his job search for a while (one week more? one year more?) will mitigate the move to college by his younger brother. One day we know elder brother will just up fly away and begin somewhere new.

HeartArt · 07-12-2009, 02:13 PM

S2, our youngest, is headed to school early in two weeks and I have to admit, I am having a very hard time. I am celebrating his achievement and the excitement of attending a wonderful school but at the same time, the feeling of loss is overwhelming at times. To all of you who posted, thank you, because it helps to know how others are handling this.

heyalb · 07-12-2009, 02:38 PM

Twins (last two of total three) are heading off as freshmen to different colleges in 3+ weeks.

This empty nest will be upon us with a loud ka-BANG. We will be going from having high school seniors and all their friends here all the time, to just the quiet purr of the cat.

I'm a psycho witch, walking a thin, shaky line between (1) screaming about piles of dirty laundry and strewn trash, fridge door left open, car left running in the driveway overnight, and (2) kneeling on the floor, hands extended outward, pleading with them not to go.

roshke · 07-12-2009, 02:39 PM

They come back regularly- they really do! It seems like no sooner are they here and gone again that they are back. I had a few tough moments last year, but it's amazing how you adjust to their comings and goings and even learn to appreciate the peace and quiet in between. An older friend of mine told me that college was not the real transition for her - it was much later, when the kids moved into their own homes and yours is no longer their base. I can see that.

Faline2 · 07-12-2009, 02:50 PM

heyalb..you are hilarious. roshke..you are comforting. I really do believe in giving your children wings etc, but do feel a little envious of my neighbors who encouraged their children to attend our fine state universities in VA..sometimes kick myself a bit for not nudging them there as well. Their children seem to stay more connected to the region than I think mine will be since their VA institutional education-made friends are largely at least in-state...and our kids' classmates at college will scatter to the winds..one of the downsides of not choosing a regional university. As a military brat myself, my sense of place is askew and I am always torn between a transient view of life and missing out on constancy and long-term connections, so I do have the surges now and then of "what were we thinking..UVA is wonderful." Oh well...the kids might have met and run away with classmates from far away attending UVA as well as they are likely to befriend friends at the universities of their choices with more dispersed national footprints.

sharonohio · 07-12-2009, 03:03 PM

D leaves in about 5 weeks to go to school 8 hours from home. Her older brother just graduated from college and lives 2 1/2 hours away so we're going into full empty nest syndrome. We'll get to pet two cats but other than that not sure what I'm going to be doing. Have volunteered at the HS for the past few years but don't know if I'm going back or looking for something new.

In the meantime, I've been trying to get D and S to clean their leftovers (S did a pretty good job last time he was home) so I don't have to look at so much clutter for months on end.