How much to push a school because of $?

[sybbie719]

Although you work at an Ivy and you get a huge discount on tuition, other factors still remain:

The school will give your son financial aid based on the income and assets of both you and your ex (and any stepparents). This will be regardless of what your ex is required to pay, wants to pay or what your state says he has to pay.

Since you state that money will be an issue, I would suggest running your numbers through a financial aid calculator. I would also suggest that you talk with your ex now and find out how much he is going to pay (even though the school won't care because they are still going to determine FA based on what they feel he can afford to pay).

No matter what the relationship is between you and your ex, you both need to calmly and rationally sit down with your son and give him the financial paremeters that you are working with. It does not make sense for you to "push" your child to apply to a school that even with the "family discount" may not be a financially feasible option for your family. I agree with Thumper that if he is "Ivy material" then he could be a viable candidate for merit money from other schools.

I agree with Jonri about seeing if you can get tuition discounts at other schools. For example the children of full-time Columbia U employees get free undergrad tuition at Columbia and 50% tuition at other schools. Perhaps your school offers the same deal.

[RochesterMom]

There are so many factors that come in to this. H works for a very good college here and tuition would have been free for both kids (3 years apart). Neither one will be attending that college and he doesn't get anything off at other colleges. S decided it wasn't for him because it didn't actually have his major although he was told that he could define it as a major and take courses for it. Not what he wanted. For D who starts this fall although it had the program she wants the school is just too big for her. She wants a small campus and will actually be attending a school that is smaller than the HS that she went to. For us this was right. We were able to pay for 4 years for both with no loans from college money that we had saved for both of them. That does not mean that it is right for everyone in this situation.

[lisa58]

I don't think many kids comprehend what a burden those loan payments can become, especially in a collapsing job market. I wouldn't present "go wherever you want but you borrow money to make up the difference" as an equally reasonable option with "go to a perfectly good school that leaves everybody free of debt".