Do Parents Really Pay for College?

[lantzk]

Yeah, I get in arguments with one of my friends about this a lot. My EFC's ~2K and said friend's parents are paying for his entire college career, despite numerous behavioral issues that they haven't reconciled (drinking citation, marijuana use, etc...), and that ticks me off.

You really just have to step back and recognize that going to college is a privilege, and that everyone has to make sacrifices to go. It's about sacrificing time during high school in order to earn competitive merit scholarships, it's about your family making financial sacrifices (if they are willing and able), and so much more in order for you to continue your education. I mean, it sucks that your folks won't be able to contribute, but there are certainly avenues for you to pay for college by yourself.

Oh and just as a side note: A 3.1 GPA does not limit you to Community College despite what many people on CC would have you believe. In fact, at many institutions you might still qualify for merit aid. I mean, we aren't talking top 50 schools here, but there are definitely options (a la CTCL and others). I understand that cost is an issue, but again, there are ways for you to pay for college that do not involve your parents shelling out money.

['rentof2]

I see both sides. Most people that we know will help their kids pay for college as fas as they are financially able to do so. In some cases that means the parents are paying for it entirely, in the great majority of cases it's a combination of parents paying, students working summers and part-time during the school year, scholarships, and loans.

However, I also have contact with kids who are totally on their own as far as paying for college. Most of the time, like the OP, their parents are willing to let them live at home while they go to the local community college or public college, but the kids have to work and seek other aid in order to attend. The parents won't pay for tuition, fees, books, etc, and also won't pay for travel expenses, clothes, phone, or anything else. They'll cover just a room and eating with the family and out of the fridge. And in the cases I see, most of these parents are financially quite able to help, at least somewhat, with the costs.

My sense is that the parents feel like they've reached a point --once the kid graduates from high school-- where they have fulfilled their parental responsibilities. Also I sense there are some issues with parents actually not wanting their kids to leave home, and in a sense they are creating a situation where the kids are stranded at home if they want to go on to college. I've also seen families that don't seem to trust that their kids are worth the financial investment, that they're not going to get enough out of it and ought to just find a job instead.

[BCEagle91]

Things are all over the place for parental support.

I know parents that can pay full fare that have told their kids early on that they wouldn't provide any support other than room and board at home. I know parents that take out loans to pay for tuition, parents that pay for state with the student taking out loans if they want to go to private school and parents that just pay full fare.

We saved up enough for our kids to go full fare. Our son is going to a cheap state university and he has a merit scholarship and is working full-time this summer and works during the year. In some states, community college is affordable with a part-time job. Community college in California is something like $30/credit so that's about $900 per year for costs. The killer cost could be textbooks. A student could probably earn $3,000 to $4,000 over the summer to pay for school in California while living at home. In my state, CC costs are far higher (something like four to six times higher).

It's best to work this stuff out with your parents years before you graduate from high-school so that you have a clear idea as to where to stand. And even then, economic circumstances can change for the better or worse.

[swimcatsmom]

For us the answer is Yes and No and some. We paid everything for my son the first time round (it was a CC where he dropped out after a year and a half). By the time our daughter started, and then son returned a year later, our financial situation had changed drastically. Their EFCs are very low (0 this year) so they get good financial aid. His is enough to cover most of his CC costs for 2 years (complete change of direction to a technical degree so most of his initial classes don't count), we help a little where we can and he had a little left in his 529 account which we have been able to use. My daughter has an excellent scholarship at her large State U, in addition to the financial aid, so her costs are pretty much covered. We do buy her books ( expensive especially being a science major - almost $500 this semester, but I have since found and ordered 4 online so she will return the original ones - $100 savings. One I can't find any cheaper and the 6th is a custom made book for the school so full price - $130 plus tax - on that one and it can't be sold back. Grr)) and help where we can. And she has a small amount (smaller than it should be thanks to the stock market) 529 account savings as well which we have used a couple of times. They both work part time. They both also have loans but not very much - hopefully s/b @ $9-10,000.

[chuy]

I got nothing from my parents, and the majority of my friends back in my hometown either didn't go or also got nothing from their parents (although if they went to school in the area many lived at home.) It depends on if you're in a wealthy area or not; CC's demographics are HEAVILY skewed toward the wealthy.

[mathmom]

My parents paid for me to go to college and I always assumed I'd pay for my kids. My husband's parents paid for most of his education - he had a small loan which we paid off within a couple of years of his getting out of grad school. My parents even paid for me to go to grad school (in architecture). My husband had a comfortable stipend for his PhD. work. We'd have had a hard time paying for our kids, but we inherited some money that should cover two college educations. I didn't think twice about using it for that.

[hj0519]

My parents are paying for college for me and my brother. They feel that it's their responsibility to pay for their children's college educations. Other parents feel differently. Of my friends, I don't know anybody who is paying for college without their parent's help.

[jym626]

Our story sounds the same as many who have already responded. My parents paid for me to go to college (I paid for my own grad school with traineeships/work and loans). We saved for our kids educations since the day they were born, and were fortunate to ba able to stash away a fair amount that gave them the flexibility to look at schools without financial restrictions. We were willing to pay "full freight" if need be, and we did for most of older s's school. That said, both kids did apply to many in-school and outside scholarships which helped defray the costs somewhat. Younger s decided to approach things differently than older s, and was fortunate enough to get a large 4 yr scholarship plus an additional smaller scholarship that will allow him to save much of the money earmarked for college for him to use for an advanced degree/ professional school.

Even if you have a lower GPA, you still may be a very attractive candidate, perhaps to a lower tier school, so dont sell yourself short. And look carefully at the many opportunities on the scholarship websites. Ther is a lot of scholarship money to be had out there. Hopefully your parents will also revisit their financial situation and will contribute to your education. Your EFC is very manageable with these options combined. Good luck!

[vicariousparent]

Are you a parent and pay for your kids college?

Yes. My daughter is fortunate enough to have parents who can and will pay the full cost of college including tuition, room, board, textbooks, travel, and incidental expenses. She realizes that she is fortunate and is appropriately appreciative.

I think colleges EXPECT parents to pay for college expenses. That is the logic of factoring parental income into financial aid calculations.

[violadad]

My parents paid my tuition at a state school, requiring two years at a local branch before hitting the main college campus; room and board and probably books I paid for myself; wife completely funded her own.

We told our kids we would fund them to the best of our ability for undergrad, provided they had an academic track record that proved them capable. We had no other stipulations, including choice of major, but poor collegiate performance would result in a withdrawal of funding.

We covered books, tuition, room and board, and travel home, professional association membership fees and journals required by their respective majors.

We also required them to take Staffords in their names. Both had the academics and or talent to allow them to take advantage of substantial merit awards, which allowed them to have their choice of top picks within their fields.

Both knew they would be on their own for grad or further professional study.

[Hunt]

I think there are parents who can't help pay, but there seem to be quite a few who could but choose not to. I suppose some of them have good reasons for this philosophy, but I think some of them don't understand how the economics have changed, and they still have the idea that a student can work his way through a really good college education. Without aid, though, it appears to me that a kid can only work his way through an OK to pretty good college education.

[tokenadult]

^ Hunt has it right, I think. Most parents step up. Some parents step up with a budget--that is, they agree to pay so much for a college, but no more. I grew up in a neighborhood in which a number of my brightest classmates were admitted to quite selective colleges, but had to drop out when their parents refused to pay their full expected family contributions and the students were unwilling to rack up huge personal debts. Most of those students completed their degrees eventually (one after volunteering to join the military) at my alma mater, our state's state university. Children whose parents don't step up can usually still go to college, but their college choices become more limited than their choices would be if only the students' academic ability were considered.

I'll step up to pay the full EFC for each of my children, somehow, at some college of their choice. It's up to my children to decide on a list of colleges to apply to and at which college to enroll if admitted to more than one college.

[heyalb]

It's a lot of fun making babies. Unfortunately, many parents don't think beyond that and realize they have to support babies.

But I'll let you in on a little secret ---- there's a magic pill you can take after you conceive a child. Once you take that pill, you shape up & tighten up and begin to save money. The pill also gives you advanced warning that the fetus will become an 18-year old who goes to college, and that costs money.

Not everybody takes the pill. They just have fun making the baby and call it a day. If parents knew (or were informed) ahead of time what it would be like, most would probably take the pill.

[HImom]

A good way of getting credits fairly inexpensively is to take them at CC & then use the credits toward the U they transfer to. That's the approach our D took to help reduce the huge cost of the U she is attending (4 years there would have been very tough for all of us, she she transferred in with 3 semesters of CC + summer school). Our S was able to get significant merit aid that helped fund his education.

Don't discount the value of CCs & their credits--many of the CC instructors D had taught the SAME course in a much larger room with more students at the flagship U for many times the tuition she paid at CC. They got to know her much better at the CC & she brought her grades up to make her attractive to Us as a transfer.

[BCEagle91]

My mother paid a small amount for my first year. Merit money, a small loan and work took care of the rest. I got a professional job after a year in college and a few companies paid for the rest of my undergraduate degree and all of my graduate degree. Companies were far more generous with benefits back in the 80s and 90s. I think that they had tax benefits to pay for higher education too. Education was far cheaper compared to what you could make at an job that required little in the way of skills a few decades ago. BC was somewhere in the $3,000+ area - it's scary to see what it is today.