DD having a hard time writing her essay!

[mom2collegekids]

Ok...

My sis called this morning and DNephew is stuck on his "Why (school's name)" essay.

DNephew really likes the school...it's private, a Catholic U (he goes to Catholic schools), great academics, awesome library, great internship ops, lovely campus, strong in his major, not too close to home, but also not too far away....but, he just seems to be having "writers block"....

He's been able to write the essays for his other schools, because those prompts are more about a personal life event, personal goals, or something more specific.

He just can't seem to get started on this more vague topic of, "Why (name of school)".

He thinks that whatever he writes will sound corny and trite... He thinks everyone will write something along the boring lines of .... "I visited and loved the school. I can see myself there. I think I'd do well academically. I like the faith aspect. Your campus is beautiful. The new library is outstanding. I visited the ______department and was very impressed." Those sort of blah comments and very cliche.

Any ideas that I can pass along to DNephew?

[mathmom]

I've seen students that write a description of a typical day, including names of professors.

[mom2collegekids]

^

good idea!

[xiggi]

^^--^^

A twist on naming professors ... for the "Why (name of school)" one should avoid writing too much about the buildings and beauty of the campus. One should also NOT repeat anything that is found on the website or brochures.

An alternative approach might include looking up professors who teach classes that are of great interest to the applicant and reading their research. From there, one can start writing about how fascinating the research is (and relates to the student's interests,) and what a wonderful opportunity it would be to attend the school where Prof. NevergiveanA teaches.

What is important is to portray the image of the student at the school, and go beyond describing how great the school is. After all, the adcoms do KNOW how great the college is. What they do NOT know is why the particular student would represent a good fit.

[TheGFG]

When you say the essay should be different from anything you'd turn in to school, what do you mean? D wrote what I'd call a short story (slice of life is a good descriptor) with a moral, but it is very casual and conversational in style. I wouldn't say it's an essay in the proper sense. I felt S's essays were academic in tone and well-written but bland and did not showcase his personality. While I told that to D and she won't make the same mistake, I wonder if she may be going too far in the other direction.

[xiggi]

TheGFG, the typical HS essay is based on a formulaic approach that requires an introduction, a couple of paragraphs, and a conclusion. The college application essay should offer an opportunity to be different, to be captivating, and to be personal.

This does not mean that a well-structured essay is a no-no.

[Melsmom]

Again, along the lines of keeping it simple, like a 17 year old kid should...Why not just use the original "why I'm so special and have a great heart" essay and just add a last paragraph. I chose XYZ college because I know I would have so much to offer their XYZ program by incorporating my "skills" in this way (throw in unique researched knowledge of pgm.) Use the SAME essay for everything...just tweak. Of course the personal statement short answers are separate.
I just don't think kids should stress it too much. My d actually was awarded a $10K local scholarship for her essay, and other stuff: grades, income (remember I'm a para!) Meanwhile she just used my method and never even showed a teacher her essay. Maybe I will write a book!

[pacheight]

if the prompt says "personal statement" I think it should be about you, the writer, and something that describes your passions...what you're in to or what's shaped you.

and the story should be tight, like the one I read from a Harvard student and how the taxi ride from the airport to her mothers village in Vietnam impacted her...the description of that impact gave the reader a deep insight into the writer! a 10 minute cab ride was the vehicle (no pun intended) she used to communicate her interests and passions.

[TheGFG]

xiggi, I think the main doubt I have about her "essay" is that it's not particularly intellectual. It reads like a funny story one teenager might tell to another. For one thing, the vocabulary is basic--definitely wouldn't be 12th grade level. But at the same time, I get the feeling that if she were to try mess with the word choice too much, it wouldn't work as well because the format is conversational. Thoughts?

[calmom]

My daughter actually wrote an essay on a topic that I suggested... but the time line was rather extended. When she was in 11th grade she wrote a post on her blog that I thought was kind of moving -- I mentioned at the time that it would be a good theme for a college essay. I guess that planted a seed -- she had as much agonizing over essay topics as anyone else, but her senior year I bought the Bauld book and left it on her bed. The day she finally picked it up and read it was the day that the old blog post was resurrected and morphed into a pretty good essay.

Obviously the blog post itself was not suitable essay material -- but it provided an idea and a theme. There were several other blog posts that also would have met the criteria -- blogging teens tend to write what they are feeling at the time, so mining a blog might be a good place to find the "heart" part of an essay.

[curmudgeon]

Try this with the kid. Sit with them and just talk about why they want to go to X college (or whatever the prompt is). Then tell them to write "that". Since my memory is beyond repair I used a recorder. It worked well for my D (and others ) . Personal writing , for some reason, just does not come easy to my student (and others).

Give it a try. It's cheap.

Edit: Yes, I know. There are kids who have an equally hard time verbalizing. But this works for some.

[EPTR]

I hope this doesn't sound overly simplistic but it might help. The best advice I have heard about creative writing is "write it first from the heart and then from the head". She needs to think of a story , event or moment that had meaning for her and write it, first, with no regard for grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc. It should be impulsive and genuine. Once she has that part, she can move parts around, polish up the vocab and grammar. I also strongly recommend putting it away for at least a day after writing the first draft. Don't even let her look at it. When she does go back to it, she will see it with a fresh eye and pick up on problems immediately. I think that the stress around the importance of this process can take all the heart out of the writing and promote a fragmented approach to the self-critique necessary to evaluate the work.

Of course, easy for me to say. D finished hers a few weeks ago and most of the apps are in. I truly sympathize. It is a maddening process. Good luck. It will get done!

[thefool]

I wouldn't worry at all if the tone is colloquial, I think that that works far better than an essay that sounds really formal. Keep in mind that the purpose of this essay is to simply show your personality and passions, the rest of the application can be used to show that your a serious hardworking individual, this part should show that there is also more to you than just a machine.

[BayAreaCAMom]

I have not had the chance to get back on here, and look at all the suggestions! Thank you everyone - there are A LOT of good ideas here.

Wish us luck!!

and good luck to everyone out there trying to get through the application process this fall!