DD having a hard time writing her essay!

BayAreaCAMom · 10-21-2009, 10:22 PM

Help! DD is struggling with her essay. Keeps changing her topic. Not sure what to say or how. She is not a bad writer, but having a hard time with this one, and wants to submit it for EA by Nov 1, which is fast approaching.

Am afraid I am being too critical, and wondering if I should just stay out of it? Her Dad and I like one of her earliest drafts/topics best, but she hates it, so we said go with the topic you like best, but, I don't think the one she wrote this week is as good of an essay.

any tips....suggestions.....

how did your child get started?? how did you help, guide, motivate, encourage your child?

T26E4 · 10-21-2009, 11:00 PM

Essays, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.

Rarely is it the topic choice -- but rather what the essay conveys about the writer. Mundane topic can be gripping for the reader. Exciting topic can produce boring essays.

mistymay · 10-22-2009, 12:55 AM

you are in a tough position. It is so hard to stay objective when you want the best for your child. My daughter just finished her essays. she began with 4 rough drafts on different topics, then narrowed it down to the two that had the best rhythm and voice, and I gave her a lot of opinions on her work, but then let her decide. I did make her begin August 1st, and for the first time in her life I pestered her every few days letting her know she needed to get work out there so she could give it time to rest and come back to it with a fresh perspective. Then, these last 3 weeks I would not let her go out on the weekend until she put some hours in on the essays. I have always been super hands off and lenient letting her organize her time and work, but this was just too important and I told her that I didn't want her lack of effort now to effect the rest of her life. so i encouraged with "just a couple of months of hard work, then you can relax a bit". I love both the essays she finished with, and I think they will really be an asset.
I taught writing at a university and high school in the past and would love to be of help if I can. I would look your daughter's topics and/or essays if you are comfortable with that and give my opinion. I don't know the posting protocol, but think it is not wise to post essays. But if it is not against any rules and your daughter would like an outside opinion, you can email me.

fauve · 10-22-2009, 01:22 AM

Would your DD be amenable to having a teacher, GC, or adult family friend read the essays and give an opinion as to which is the strongest? Our D would not let us comment on hers- she recoiled at the mere thought, but allowed another adult to critique her essay.

thefool · 10-22-2009, 02:52 AM

Having gone through that last year, I can say that from an applicants perspective, the process is terribly nerve racking. The prompts are poorly defined in order to allow you freedom, but that often also causes a great deal of stress in establishing the point you want to make in your essay.

As far as guidance goes, it all depends on your situation. I was lucky enough to have an older brother to guide me through the process, and that turned out to be invaluable, as he knew exactly what I was going through, and also was able to guide me in improving my writing. I actually learned an incredible amount from him in terms of how to write a proper essay.

When my brother was applying to colleges some 5 years ago, I know that he found much guidance from an English teacher at school that he was particularly close with.

If your daughter is not lucky enough to have access to such a person who she both trusts, and who knows the subtleties of the application process (like a family member or teacher), then there are also resources online that she could make use of. For instance, sites like ********* and gurufi.com allow you to hire very well qualified to assist in the application process. Alternatively there are a number of other (free) resources on the internet on the internet that can be researched in order to get better acquainted with the process. This forum in particular has on it not only parents who went through the process passively, but also kids in college, who just recently went through the process and who might be able to offer some perspectives from their own hindsight.

If your daugher is really stuck, or just needs someone to talk to, I would encourage her to seek out someone in one of these two options.

ellemenope · 10-22-2009, 12:12 PM

Is she the type who has writer's block until she is under lots of pressure? If so, having a looming November 1 deadline is a good thing. Otherwise, maybe deciding to apply regular instead of early might be a thought.

Melsmom · 10-22-2009, 12:35 PM

She needs to write about something she knows & loves. Something she feels very knowlegable about. From there she needs a metaphor. My d knew dance, her metaphor or hook was...Everything I ever needed to know I learned from dance. My s loves history, his metaphor was...I have been shipbuilding. Or something like that. Please let me know if you think this will help!

xiggi · 10-22-2009, 12:55 PM

When it comes to essays for college admissions, the key word should be ... simplicity. Most people, especially adults with a lacking understanding of the entire process, tend to expect much more than is needed from their children or students. After a few years of seeing the resulrs posted here or shared in real life, I find it hard to disagree with the notion that the typical essays are ranging from pretty bad to awful, and most of it comes from poor advice, especially from well-meaning but clueless English high school teachers or counselors.

Fwiw, despite being repeated often, the advice to read Harry Bauld's book remains very good. From there, all is needed is to keep the process simple and lively. "Slices of life" essays yield the best results. Essays that mimic an adult voice or attempt to be profound rarely work well.

In a nutshell, a good essay for college admissions should be TOTALLY different from anything that is ever submitted to a high school teacher (hence the horrendous input from the HS staff.) It should be something that ONLY the applicant could have written. A good essay also DOES require a lot of time to polish. Good writing will never substitute for great editing!

PS There are many helpful threads on this subject on College Confidential. Here's a place to start: Editing Your College Essays

Melsmom · 10-22-2009, 01:05 PM

Simple is definitely best, they are kids, not journalists! I think word or maybe it was wordperfect, had some sort of a tool in it that grades your writing style as far as what fleish kincaid vocab score they would give it. I had my kids revise as far as they could to get that score in the 12th grade range, all the while using the word thesaurus to upgrade vocab. This is the revision process however, the initial subject matter again, has to be something the child feels strongly about. Humor & creativity count the most I would think!
Try to tell your daughter not to stress so much about it, and to just do the best with the tools she has. The computer is a great tool to get it ironed out on. From there she can have someone "in the know" look at it.

pacheight · 10-22-2009, 01:12 PM

"how did you get your child started?"

same way we taught her to swim, we hired someone! my kid wouldn't listen to me about
essays but she listened closely to a stranger

and got her essay done! and turned in by the early october deadline!

the person we hired didn't help her write it, just talked to her about interests and passions to help her nail the topic and get going. best 300 bucks we spent in this whole college admish thing.

HighlandMom · 10-22-2009, 01:13 PM

Agree with Xiggi's advice about the Harry Bauld book. It's funny and refreshingly down to earth. It might joggle your d's memory of something that would be a good topic.

mathmom · 10-22-2009, 01:37 PM

Melsmom, I beg to differ, subsitituting a lot of fancy words to get a "12th grade" rating is a really good way to get a really pretentious sounding essay.

Melsmom · 10-22-2009, 01:44 PM

Send an 8th grade then

Seriously though, I don't recall the words being in the least bit pretentious. Just good words. It really takes into account your grammar too somehow, not sure how. Rewriting sentence structure changes the score. I'm not saying it's the be all & end all, but it is a great springboard.
At this point in the game, unfortunately, a hs senior is probably not going to read any books on essay writing. Mine doubtfully would at any level of the "game."

mousegray · 10-22-2009, 01:53 PM

I agree with this:

Quote:

In a nutshell, a good essay for college admissions should be TOTALLY different from anything that is ever submitted to a high school teacher (hence the horrendous input from the HS staff.)

My D got some pretty bad advice from her college counselor, but luckily, she recognized it for what it was and refused to follow it. It would have resulted in a completely generic sounding essay. The only thing that gave me pause, though, was the thought that maybe most college admissions officers like the "play-by-the-book" essay? You know, the kind that ends with a moral discovery and summary. They can't all be sophisticated readers.

Melsmom · 10-22-2009, 02:00 PM

I just checked MS word & it doesn't have the Kincaid, so it must be on Wordperfect. It was a while ago...But if I'm not mistaken it showed some literature and it's corresponding Grade level. I wanted to check my memory, but it will have to wait til I'm home, but I believe Hemingway's "The Old Man in the Sea" got a score of like 8th grade.
I'm just saying as a person who empathizes with an admit, just because I do, I would want to read something creative and original. Haven't read anyone's essay other than my kids even, and I'm no expert by any means. So grain of salt with my advice. I have never read a "how to" essay book and am not a teacher, but a para in a high school. I just know the age group and believe the essay needs a heart, or hook. It's all about the heart, and a few good words thrown in probably doesn't hurt!