What is your child's pet peeve as a frosh in college - Page 5

poetgrl · 10-26-2009, 09:48 PM

I am a parent. My D does not drink. She also knows not to get into cars with people who have been drinking. When she was in high school, we had a no dating guys who can drive until you can drive rule, for this very reason.

I'm sorry you are so incredibly upset. I would intuit that your son is newly sober. Good luck to you. I also hope he is living in a sober dorm and that you have found him a good sober campus. There is a thread about that.

I'm not worried about what other kids are doing. I know my daughter has very good judgement and has proven this to me over and over and over again. I trust her and I trust her to know what to do. She is mainly at college to study, btw, as I hope is your son.

btw, NOBODY in our house drinks alcohol. We just don't think it's a big deal when other people do.

Modadunn · 10-26-2009, 09:51 PM

Mummom.. Talk about defensive? You seem to be reading a little too much into the who cares thing. Yes there are kids who cross the line and get very very ill. And if that's happening a lot with the same individual that person is drinking for all the very wrong reasons. I honestly don't know where your kids go to school, but if everyone is suffering from alcohol poisoning on a weekly basis, they must not be doing much studying. But here's a question for you... how can you know this is absolutely what is going on when by your own admission your child neither drinks or dances. Does he go out at all?

And I am with you China. I have a very different standard for S vs D. I also expect if my S goes out with a bunch of girls he knows he has a responsibility to that group of girls. I would not expect my daughters to have the same "manners."

China · 10-26-2009, 09:54 PM

I read poetgrl's post more as saying that's it's a shame your child doesn't like to dance........but as far as your child not liking to drink - "who cares." I think you took it the wrong way. But as a parent myself, I think that you seem to CARE a little too much about the drinking. Many of the other parents who are posting here seem to be acknowledging that there are different levels of drinking at college. Not every kid is binging and acting like a crazy person. There are plenty of kids who are non-drinkers who manage to go to college, go to parties, NOT drink, and still have a good time.

poetgrl · 10-26-2009, 10:02 PM

Yes, China. That was my point. But, I think there's something else going on here, anyway, and this woman is just terrified her son WILL drink. But, let's not belabor the point.

About those cafeteria hours and heating issues.......

historymom · 10-26-2009, 10:04 PM

China I don't see a need to apologize. Most anyone who has raised both a boy and a girl will tell you that if our girls stop communicating it is often cause for worry whereas if our boys do it is barely discernable from when they are communicating.

I am being a bit flip I know but it has been scientifically demonstrated that women simply talk more...like I think 10 times more than men. Those of us who stayed home with our little babies remember the deer in the headlites look our H's got when they walked through the door after work and we assailed them verbally with all the tales of our days at home with the kids. We couldn't wait to talk to another adult. They had likely been talking to adult people all day and couldn't wait for peace and quiet.

So no China you are not alone or wrong in expecting different amounts of communication from you S vs your D. You are wise and aware of the differences between your own children in specific and sons and daughters in general.

Modadunn · 10-26-2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Most anyone who has raised both a boy and a girl will tell you that if our girls stop communicating it is often cause for worry whereas if our boys do it is barely discernable from when they are communicating.

BWAAAAAA! So true, so true.

boysx3 · 10-26-2009, 10:32 PM

Oldfort, my sons would love to go dancing with your daughter! S2 is very shy but a great dancer so the girls are always asking him; S3 doesn't have a shy bone in his body but loves to dance too. Neither likes sloshed girls but theydon't like uptight judgmental girls either. they just want to have fun! (and want to get good grades...which always comes first!)

mummom · 10-26-2009, 11:01 PM

CSPI: Alcohol Policy: Binge Drinking on College Campuses

berryberry61 · 10-26-2009, 11:20 PM

I think some of you are being too hard on mummom. She makes some salient points. I am sorry, but all those of you who say your kid goes to a party but only drinks a little and doesn't get sloshed seem to have blinders on. Now, I am not saying your kid gets stupid drunk every weekend / party but I am sure they get stupid drunk far more often than you believe. Sorry, its really rare for kids to just go and have one or two drinks when everyone else is getting hammered

Cryto · 10-26-2009, 11:29 PM

Quote:

I think some of you are being too hard on mummom. She makes some salient points. I am sorry, but all those of you who say your kid goes to a party but only drinks a little and doesn't get sloshed seem to have blinders on. Now, I am not saying your kid gets stupid drunk every weekend / party but I am sure they get stupid drunk far more often than you believe. Sorry, its really rare for kids to just go and have one or two drinks when everyone else is getting hammered

Agreed, I am a current student and I can attest to Mummom's points. While I do attend a university deemed a "party school", I would say those who choose to drink, drink hard.

Why does this happen? People here tend to drink to get drunk or "sloshed". Sure there's a middle ground, but I would say upwards of 70% of the people I know that drink "pregame" before they even get to the party. This usually entails 3-8 shots depending on tolerance, body weight, and gender. Then you're liekyl going to be drinking once you get to the party. Is it safe? Probably not particularly, but frankly if your kid says they drink, I would assume they do it on a "binge level" if not worse. I can't theorize about drinking from your generations, though I would agree on a whole about Mummom's points.

Oh and by the way, just because one binge drinks doesn't mean they aren't studying either. Kids at top universities who choose to partake in drinking are either going to be responsible about it and work hard during the week or dropout, there's no two ways about it. It's naive that some parents here paint a picture of students who drink as dumb maniacs who are destined to not study and act immaturely. In my opinion it's a great way to blow off steam and get rejuvinated for next week.

poetgrl · 10-26-2009, 11:49 PM

Cryto-- have you seen that new utube "What's a Coastie" from Madison? It's quite good.

I'm not going to argue with your experience since you're the one at a party school. Please be careful and study.

Cryto · 10-26-2009, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Cryto-- have you seen that new utube "What's a Coastie" from Madison? It's quite good.

I'm not going to argue with your experience since you're the one at a party school. Please be careful and study.

Ya that video is hilarious haha. Trouble is, girls from Wi do the exact same thing as the coasties even if they don't realize it. All the "Sconnies" are hypocrites I say

. If you've ever been around the Madison board the issue is really inflated though people that actually go here never give me a bad time about being a "coastie" unless they're just joking around. Song has come up at a couple parties and it gets people really riled up though.

On the other hand, yes I am doing my best to study/be safe. As they say around here, "Work hard, play hard".

mummom · 10-27-2009, 12:02 AM

Well, poetgrl, if 48 % of kids at ALL four year colleges cite getting drunk as a reason to drink (I'm sure you read the above link I posted, right), I guess that means that this is occurring at a lot more schools than "party" schools. Nice try though.

poetgrl · 10-27-2009, 12:07 AM

mummom-- I really don't know why after 11 posts on this website you have decided to attack everyone. It's nuts.

Do you think I don't know these things? I worked as an addictions counselor for years and I happen to be an adolescent psychologist. 10% of the population will addict to drugs and alcohol, very few of them will ever recover.

If you want your son in an alcohol free environment he doesn't have any business on a college campus. If you don't worry about your son, then maybe just leave the rest of us alone. I choose not to judge people on this board. We know like two things about one another. All we really know about you is that you need to get to alanon. Good luck. I will put you on ignore, now.

mummom · 10-27-2009, 12:18 AM

You choose not to judge people? You accused my son of being a recovering alcoholic!
Go back and read my post #48. I carefully laid out my issues. I think it's crummy that kids who choose not to drink have to have such a hard time of it on campuses today. (And, as shown by many posts here, parents in denial sure as heck are not helping the college drinking culture any.) And nondrinkers should not have to defend their choice and lay out personal information, (which I refuse to do here in my son's case, thank you, other than to say that no, he is not a recovering substance abuser. lol). And I worry about this generation. Period. And as an addiction counselor, you're well aware that freshman binge drinking (we are talking about freshman in this thread) is a very poor idea in terms of future alcoholism. Good night to you too!