Freshman in a single room

Just Ducky · 07-14-2005, 11:54 PM

I was wondering if anyone had experience with a freshman being put in a single room. My daughter's been assigned to one. Although she's in a hall where she'll share the bathroom with alot of other people, we're both a little worried about her feeling isolated. If it's not changed, does anyone have any advice?

stacy · 07-15-2005, 12:03 AM

get a whiteboard and write "come say hi!" on it. Hang outside your door.

make cookies or microwave popcorn. Let the smell waft into the hall. Write "I have extra snacks--come in and share!" on the whiteboard.

leave your door open. play your favorite music (not too loud). the people who also love that music can stop in.

study in the hallway or common areas

eat meals with different groups of people. at first, NO ONE knows anyone. make plans with friends from class or clubs to eat in different places on campus or to hang out at set places. encourage everyone to bring other friends, to broaden the circle.

be a joiner! do stuff even if it's not exactly your thing (kung fu movies, bowling, whatever) since so much of college friendship at first is just being around when funny stuff happens.

bond with the other people in your dorm who got singles...they'll be in the same boat.

also, there will almost definitely be a roommate pair who HATE each other from day one. If you like one of them, offer to switch into the double with her, and put the horrible one in the single. That's basically what I did my first year.

momof2inca · 07-15-2005, 12:04 AM

I had a single room for my year abroad in France, as a senior. It can feel a bit isolating. But at least she would avoid potential roommate problems, which sometimes can be even worse. If it's not changed, tell her to keep her door open when she's in the mood to be social and to make microwave popcorn a lot. People coming down the hall will poke their heads in to say hi.

arizonamom · 07-15-2005, 12:35 AM

Depends on the college. At Pomona noone felt isolated as they had sponsor groups and the students in singles always had tons of folks in their room. As long as the door is open noone gets lonely. Everyone we knew with singles loved it although initially they were disappointed. It may be different at different colleges, check with other students

gsp_silicon_valley · 07-15-2005, 01:58 AM

If there is a community bathroom and/or tv lounge all she needs to do is say hello to people. Ask if they want to walk over to the dining hall together. She will be the envy of most people who have to share a room anyway.

Back in the stone ages, when I was a freshman, I placed my name and state (California) on my door. I went to school in Detroit and people were intrigued that I came all the way from Cali.

It is so easy to meet people and make friends in a dorm. Everyone is just waiting for someone to make the first move. I never understand why people stress over dorm life so much, with the exception of "roommate from hell" issues.

beachy · 07-15-2005, 06:21 AM

If her school offers a several-day orientation just before classes begin, she will meet and be with her floormates for a large portion of the time....it won't be hard to continue that group togetherness once classes start, if she makes an effort to bond and be available to do things with the others. Friendly and ready to do things without a lot of planning ahead are key. Keeping her door open most of the time and welcoming people in works well, as others have said. She shouldn't have any trouble fitting in.

Little Mother · 07-15-2005, 08:15 AM

For some reason, I was assigned a double as a single my freshman year. Because there was so much room, other students ended up gathering there. Although this was a long time ago, because there were hall-based activities (informal) we got to know one another. I agree with keeping her door open when she's in the room as a welcoming gesture.

emeraldkity4 · 07-15-2005, 08:29 AM

my daughter had a single as a freshman- ( in fact for the last three years)- she has always been quiet but friendly- but we also decided that a single would be great to allow her control over being social.
She had a whiteboard on her door as well as an indicator of what she was doing and if she could be disturbed. She has a hard time focusing at times- so the single room was great and the sign that warned people not even to knock if she was busy ( although she does occasionally forget to change it & friends wait outside patiently for her without knocking)
Her school has required classes for freshmen that gave them a common bond but other schools have freshman interest groups and the like that may do the same thing.
Also even if you think the orientation week things will be lame, go! There is information there that may be hard to find else where- and you will never have another freshman week orientation.
She kept her door open if she wasn't busy and it was full of people. I haven't noticed that her friends who had roommates were actually any better socially acclimated. The single room was also nice to have when she had friends visiting from other schools ( or her younger sister).
all in all a plus

dmd77 · 07-15-2005, 08:32 AM

My son has had a single since he started, by his choice. He's never been much of a sleeper when he has a project, so he wanted to be able to stay up all night without bothering a roommate. He chose a dorm that is mostly singles. Everyone spends time in the common areas and the kitchen areas, so everyone knows each other very well.

My D, who has had roommates from the beginning, found it difficult initially to expand her social life past her roommate. She took to making chocolate chip cookies in the late evening in the hall kitchen, then inviting people to join her for a study break. Popcorn also works.

bandit_TX · 07-15-2005, 09:03 AM

I had a single as a freshman many years ago. I would not recommend it. I even recommended to my D that she request a large suite.

zantedeschia · 07-15-2005, 09:10 AM

But why does having a roommate necessarily make you more social? I mean, that's just one extra person you know, but it's still up to you to befriend the rest of the dorm and make other friends.

I think a single has more benefits than drawbacks. You avoid a lot of roommate problems, can host visitors, have alone time if you need it, won't get sexiled, etc. Personally I requested a single, but I don't know my assignment yet.

emeraldkity4 · 07-15-2005, 09:30 AM

I like traveling by myself- I meet more people- even just out and about than I do with my husband or my kids. And I am not a gregarious person.
While I do know people who are still good friends with college roommates- my daughter has benefited from a single and had more control over her social/study life than she would have had if she shared- even though Reeds doubles are still two rooms.
I think if you really want one- then go for it- but if you don't, don't worry that it will inhibit meeting people.
There are lots of opportunities on campus to meet people- I advised my youngest who was changing schools from one with 700 students k-12 to one with 1700 students 9-12- to join sports or a club. She did both and I think especially the sport team introduced her to lots of people she wouldn't ordinarily meet.
I would advise the same for someone starting college- join a club or start your own-roommate are not a panacea fora social life, and especially for people who need to be alone to recharge- singles are the way to go if you can.
Usually this seems to be a fairly unusual choice however- I hear more stories about doubles which now house 3 students and students who don't even have a room and have to sleep in the student lounge while they wait for a room to open up

morningtheft · 07-15-2005, 09:33 AM

In the UK, where I'm going to college, almost everyone has a single room. I'm so glad.

yulsie · 07-15-2005, 09:40 AM

My son has a single, possibly with a private bath. His college provides maid service for the rooms twice a week, empties wastebaskets every day. Laundry is the only nest-minding chore that he will have to do. Everybody living in college has a single, so the social situation is even for all.

I don't think having a single will be a problem - the Freshers Week at his college is action-packed. By the end of the first week, he should get to know all 100 freshers, be signed up for play auditions, and be in the college choir. I think someone would have to try very hard to be a loner in the residential college setting.

nytheatermom · 07-15-2005, 10:54 AM

My son started with a roomate... turned out to be a heavy drinker, throwing up all over the place in the middle of the night. The roomate complained of the "noise" my son made when his computer mouse clicked.

This relationship lasted until mid October. I pressed the school to move my son into a single.. and he has never regretted it. He now lives in apartment by himself as well.

He is very happy... has friends in the building.