3.2 GPA, late bloomer, HIGH SAT score, top university? - Page 10

Av8r · 11-01-2009, 11:03 AM

Jym626, I do agree it is a waste of time to answer questions for someone when they are obviously just "messing around" and either trying to get a reaction or being obnoxious. The time that I made that statement, it was obvious the student was doing so. But in this case, it seems apparent to me that protag is sincere. And it certainly is valid to take the time to read old posts if you think it will assist you to give a better answer to the other person. On the other hand, it is positively creepy to go through someone's old posts just so you can identify them, embarrass them, or show to the world all their inconsistencies. Why would you pull up my old posts merely because I suggested to protag that he should not reveal personal information so he is not identified, it was rather bland, non-confrontational, safety related advice.

When it comes to this thread, what are you trying to do for protag? Are you really trying to help him or are you trying to identify or embarrass him?

jym626 · 11-01-2009, 11:16 AM

If a poster claims one thing in one thread and another thing in another thread, then it goes to reason that the veracity of their posts and posting history would come into question. Don't know that I agree with you that either this or the other poster was "obviously messing around" or "obviously sincere". Guess its in the eye of the beholder. If a person is posting all over the forum in a short period of time with inconsistent information, then it is helpful to know if they are legitimately looking for help or wasting people's time. Some of the posts imply that the OP is from some rural community in the deep south. In actuality, the city in question is the second largest city in GA. That is a far cry form the image of some rural community in the deep south that was implied in some posts. Granted it is certainly different from cities in the NE, but it is a city of almost 200,000 people.

If a poster doesn't give an accurate or consistent description of their education, their community, or how much they can afford to pay (or their parents are willing to pay) its virtually impossible to help them in any meaningful fashion.

Marite posted, quite some time back, a wonderfully eloquent post on the helpfuless of reading a poster's past posts/posting history. Marite, if you could find that post, could you share it again? It was exceptionally well written and explains it far better than I can.

oldfort · 11-01-2009, 11:17 AM

I wish I've had taken the time to read some of OP's posts before I posted here. Getting into a college should be the least of his problem.

Av8r - you are new to this forum, it's not surprising people would read up on you, even just to make sure you are a parent. I don't think anyone is trying to be creepy here.

Too often parents have given sincere opinion only to find out OP has given contradictory information. I don't think we are in the business of finding out people's identity. We already know some parents on FB.

I have decided not to help, and some others may have decided the same. Maybe this thread should die.

Av8r · 11-01-2009, 11:35 AM

I definitely don't have an issue reading people's old posts if it is for the purpose of helping. There are times that I have noticed that people are doing so just to pick out the one possible inconsistency or negative thing they can find to say about another. The problem is, unless you are going to read an entire thread that someone is posting in, you may not completely understand the context of their words. And sometimes people do generalize or leave things out. And I agree, it is in the eye of the beholder if the poster is sincere or not. Now since many of you parents have been on cc for a long time, you have gotten to know each other well. But for those of us parents and children who do not know you, it can be difficult to tell what your motives are. If we were all sitting around talking in the same room, it would be far more pleasant, I'm sure.

I do stand by my statement that protag should not give out more personal information, or specify his school. Concerned parents would not want their own children specifically identified on this site. I'm surprised that other parents haven't said that also. I agree with you that maybe this thread should die, particularly if it should continue to be negative.

CountingDown · 11-01-2009, 11:41 AM

jym, Augusta is not exactly a bastion of open-mindedness and sophistication. There's a reason I left as soon as possible!

Back to the OP -- with a 3.2, I assume you would qualify for a HOPE scholarship. Are your parents going to put their foot down about taking advantage of that funding vs. OOS?

I had mentioned several state flagships earlier -- in large part because one of the young men in our neighborhood was accepted to several of those schools for Chem Engineering (Clemson, Ohio State, Pitt, Penn State University Park) with an UW 3.16 and a 26 ACT -- but did not get into UMCP.

jym626 · 11-01-2009, 11:44 AM

Welcome to cc, av8tr.
Yes, many oldtimers here have become familiar with the posts of other old timers, so it was, to say the least, a shock to see the OP accuse some of the oldtimers, who have kindly shared their/their kid's history, of making up stories. It doesn't so much matter what school a kid attends, but it DOES matter if they tell different things in different places. It is kind of you to rally to this kid's defense, but many of the oldtimers (front and backchannel) had their antennae up. Oldfort's post is spot on.

jym626 · 11-01-2009, 11:48 AM

Hi CD,
Yes, I am familiar with Augusta. I didn't live there, but my DH did, and I visited many times. There is a reason he moved here rather than vice versa. That said, it isn't a two horse, one stoplight town.

CountingDown · 11-01-2009, 11:54 AM

Evans certainly was when I lived there...

marite · 11-01-2009, 11:55 AM

av8r:

I don't think I've ever seen a parent try to sabotage a student's chance. Mistaken advice? yes. We all make errors. Advice offered in too blunt away. That, too. But lying or being motivated by malice toward students? No, never.

jym: I can't recall which one of my many (!!!) posts you are referring to. Sometimes, it is very useful to recall old information as posters don't always update. In fact, I should do it more often

Av8r · 11-01-2009, 12:00 PM

Thank you for the welcome. From reading this, it does sound like you're sincerely trying to help. Really, many of you are like a group of old friends. Sharing things with each other that you might never share with even your best friends or family. So you truly know the intentions of the other posters and feel the draw to stand by them because you feel their motives are good. Yet a brand new cc kid has no idea of this. He just hears things that he feels are put downs from people he has no idea of their intentions, and feels badly. Even as a unsuspecting parent, with no antennae out, it's hard to tell sometimes. And Marite, I agree, I don't think any parents are trying to sabotage students or lying to them. I am just concerned that thousands of people could read these posts and the child could be identified by revealing too much.

marite · 11-01-2009, 12:11 PM

Indeed, I agree that people should not reveal too much about themselves on a board that is anonymous and that, moreover, is often read by GCs and admission officers.
But anyone who comes to the Parents Forum of CC has got to think that people WILL try to be helpful. Otherwise, why come at all? And if one wants to disregard advice, by all means, s/he is totally free to do so. Thank you, but not thanks. That's enough. No need to accuse parents of being e-thugs or lying about their own children's experiences or questioning their motivations (sabotaging others so their own kids' chances of admission are enhanced). Some of the people who have been accused of one or the other in this thread have been some of the most helpful posters on CC, too!

jym626 · 11-01-2009, 12:16 PM

I agree with marite- no one is trying to "sabotage" any poster's chances at any school, or to try to keep them from applying to minimize the competition (as was suggested by the OP).

And thank you-- I was (and am) truly trying to help. And to do so, I looked at a few of the many, many other threads that the OP started to learn a little more so as to be able to help in a meaningful way (He, like you, is relatively new to cc.) OK, he has a 3.2 GPA. No wait. He says its a 3.4. No wait, he says its a 3.5 (all unweighted, IIRC). He wants desperately to get out of GA. He can only apply to 8 schools. But he has already applied (I believe) to 3 instate schools. He went to a Science and Engineering magnet. No wait he went to a Fine Arts magnet. He lives in a small rural town in the deep south. No wait, he lives in the second largest city in the state. His parents will spend $10K per year, no wait, 15K per year. No wait, $25K per year. My head is spinning. With the best of intentions, it is simply hard to provide useful recommendations or suggestions until there is better consistency. Hopefully you can see the dilemna.

Many of us stay here because we have a lot of experience and info and like to help these kids. So, to have one call posters fabricators and fools who don't know anything, etc, especially when that is far from the truth, is tough to take. Just as you have come to the defense of the OP, some of use have come to the defense of the posters under attack. Both are understandable.

Some posters are more direct than others. Some take feedback better than others. Either way, hopefully the OP can hear that posters were trying to help answer his questions. But at times it feels like trying to hold onto sand, and can get frustrating.

CD-
I forget when you were in Evans. DH was in Martinez. Do you remember the Purple Onion??

hyeonjlee · 11-01-2009, 12:48 PM

I heartily agree with Marite and Jym that this board is full of parents who are so well intentioned and so selfless in sharing their thoughts and experience. Already their input is making a HUGE difference in the way I am guiding S2. (Alas, I did not discover Parents Forum early enough for S1, but in the end, he is at a place perfect for him: a dumb, beginer's luck). Without this group's intervention (via their wonderful feedback and insight), S2 will have ended up in a rather unexciting state flagship or a private school with a questionable return on investment ratio. Instead, he has an excellent chance to go to an ideal school for him with the very best ROTC program in the nation.

By now, I believe, collectively, this board is better than any admission officer input or guidance counselor input, since it's most honest and objective with no ulterior motive. Collectively, I have yet to see a group of total strangers who were so willing to help. I try to do my part to bring the cosmic balance of justice in line by contributing when I can as much as I can.

As such, it was a shock to see a teenager hurling attacks, accusations, and abuses to helpful parents whose only crime was to share their honest feedback (ok, some were rather direct or blunt, but still honest and earnest feedback). Yes, I have been served here and there some snide remarks (what can I say, some people love to hurl cheap shots - not my style, but hey, everyone has to have some entertainment, right?), But I have never seen a teenager or adult accusing other posters who were sharing their actual experience of lying and making up stories with sinister ulterior motives.

As much as I applaud some posters here who are still trying to help or try to "understand" the original poster, I don't think in the long run, this is helping him. We are "enabling" his bad behavior by continuing to engage him and even maybe "excusing" his ill manners and "rewarding" his behavior. There are a lot kids who are very deserving who ask for help on this board. I am helping a couple of kids right now with essays and such (through PM). Both of them come from very disadvantaged background, and no adults are helping them. It's been quite rewarding to help them as they are receptive, thoughtful, and appreciative. When they make it to a good school, I will have a vicarious sense of achievement through them.

Yes, there are kids who had tough time. I had my share when I was growing up (not socio economically, mine was a different kind), but it still does not give them a free pass for unabashedly unpleasant and insulting attitudes to perfect strangers who were just trying to help them and had no part in the past wrong done to them by other people.

I would rather not become an enabler for bad behavior.

thumper1 · 11-01-2009, 12:50 PM

Ohio State would be a good school to add to this list. I agree...a match (admission could go either way). Re: aid for OOS students...OSU has some highly competitive scholarships for very high achieving applicants. OOS tuition costs in Ohio are higher than any of the figures the OP has indicated his parents will pay. I seriously doubt that the state of Ohio will offer much in the form of aid...OSU does not meet full need.

OP...if you are interested in getting aid AND going out of state, try looking at some of the schools that are NOT the flagship U's. Ohio has a ton of public universities. OSU and Miami (Oxford) are the two most difficult admits. None of the schools will meet full need and merit aid will be more plentiful at less competitive schools in the state...if you are looking for aid.

jym626 · 11-01-2009, 01:12 PM

BTW, FWIW, here's the "test" to see if a person qualifies for in-state residency at OSU Home Page - Office of the University Registrar - The Ohio State University

If either of OP's parents are in the military (possible, with the family's frequent relocations and Ft. Gordon being in Augusta) there may be a waiver of some of the residency requirements at some point. Dunno for sure-- he'd have to take the "test" linked above or read this: University System of Ohio - Opportunities Here's a general description of some things that help, or are necessary to establish in-state residency FinAid | In-State Tuition and State Residency Requirements