Need during-HS gap year ideas for bright, failing son - Page 5

gosmom · 10-30-2009, 05:16 PM

Compmom.....I believe book you mentioned is called
The Film Club: A True Story of a Father and a Son
by David Gilmour

2boysima · 10-30-2009, 05:41 PM

Along with the neuro-psych testing, try to find a professional who will focus on the discrepancies on the WISC subscores.

After a number of frustrating years in elementary school, one of our children finally got a sympathetic, and knowledgeable, GC in middle school. Child had testing...and did not qualify for an IEP classification. However, due to wide discrepancies in sub-tests (along with other testing results) has 504 accommodations that have made a world of difference in attitude about school as well as performance.

Shrinkrap · 10-30-2009, 05:51 PM

I am curious about how folks feel the neuropsych eval will change things. By just "knowing why", or is there an expectation that there will be specific things son can try? I would clarify that before spending a lot of $$$.

Since posting, I've read a few posts suggesting the saw specific changes after testing. I'm glad to hear that and and think it would be great if you could share some specifics, and how long they have persisted.

arabrab · 10-30-2009, 06:28 PM

In some ways your son sounds well suited for a college environment: learns from lectures, excellent at tests, independent. I'm already hearing about college freshmen who are having issues because they're not used to every test being a high stakes test, and homework counting little or not at all. Maybe he isn't meant to live in a dorm -- are there college options that he could commute to?

compmom · 10-30-2009, 06:56 PM

On second thought, take a look at Goddard and Union Institute websites. Might be interesting for a kid who does not want to do the dorm thing (students only spend a little time on campus) and their curricula allow some intense focus on those things that students themselves find interesting. Worth a glance. They accept GED's, homeschooling, no problem at all.

Thanks for the book title gosmom!

Longhaul · 10-30-2009, 06:57 PM

OP

I sit hear with tears in my eyes because I foresaw my S1 "failing" school due to high IQ. It is an issue we continually deal with.

PLEASE continue to update us. Your findings may help those of us still struggling.

I do wish your family luck.

SimpleRules · 10-30-2009, 06:58 PM

A combination of homeschooling and community college/ local u/ or on-line school AND volunteering locally might do the trick.

Mom2M · 10-30-2009, 07:04 PM

Check the HoagiesGifted website for specific neuropsych recommendations--it would be best to get someone who is accustomed to working with gifted students. The Hoagies website has recommendations for most states.

madbean · 10-30-2009, 07:07 PM

I second, third, fourth! the suggestion for a new neuropsych eval. For one thing, a child (and parent) can gain renewed optimism and self-esteem when a respected professional explains how their brain functions. The high IQ has been known, but dysfunction diagnosis will give context to the disappointing performance which is now vaguely described as lack-of-motivation. That, in itself, can give the family and child a baffling mixture of sense of failure and blame that is so unnecessary and wrong!

More important for OP's gifted son, a diagnosis (of ADD, or...?) will go a long way to explaining to colleges why S had disastrous grades previously. If S needs a fresh start, his new grades post-diagnosis will actually matter much more to colleges. With new insight, accommodations and/or meds if necessary, and some extra understanding at school and at home, his future opportunities may look much brighter to all.

Both my sons have extremely high IQ along with processing speed disorders. Not the same trouble as OP's s, I know, but their diagnoses during high school shed amazing light on past school struggles. S1 explained the improvement in his grades in the additional essay comments section, and was accepted to some pretty amazing colleges. With his out-there other accomplishments (he's the creative whiz type), he also got merit scholarships!

Don't lose hope, OP.

Shrinkrap · 10-30-2009, 07:14 PM

"S1 explained the improvement in his grades in the additional essay comments section,"

Do you mind sharing if he or the school did anything specific that contributed to the improved grades? I only ask because a lot of these kids get referreded to me for ADD meds, suggesting little else is actually practical or available in MY community. I'd love to pass it on, if something is working elsewhere.

P.S. I agree about not losing hope, and I can think of a few who tested out or earned fast credits in "continuation school", and seemed fine with their options after that. I did not hear from them though, so I don't know the long term outcome.

2boysima · 10-30-2009, 08:35 PM

No meds for my child.

Due to processing speed and visual-spatial processing significantly lower on WISC, (but above level required for an IEP) received extra time, keyboard access and "redirect and refocus" (teachers had to pay a little extra attention to him.....which they hadn't since he wasn't a behavior problem.)

However, no accommodations received for standardized testing.

SodiumFree · 10-30-2009, 08:59 PM

I was so happy to read that you are planning to have a neuropsych evaluation: I think that is so worthwhile. But I would also like to second the suggestion that your son see a therapist to talk about his feelings of regret and any other emotional issues he is dealing with that are related to his performance in school (or to anything else, for that matter).

I was in a situation very similar to yours this past Spring, when my son was a junior in HS. (I would have loved to have seen this thread then, as we were in pretty much the exact same place.) My son did finally decide to stick with his present school, and at the moment, that seems like a good decision. But I don't think he could have done it without the support of his very kind and competent therapist. His therapist is a psychiatrist, which means he can prescribe medication for my son's ADD. But I think the more important function he serves is to be a sounding board for my son. I try to fulfill that role myself, and am lucky that my son is open and communicative, but I think he really needs and benefits from talking to a professional who is not his mom!

I am so impressed that you reached out for advice and are working hard to come up with the best solution to your son's situation. I kept thinking I would start this kind of thread last Spring, but felt too overwhelmed by it all to sit down and put fingers to keyboard!

One other suggestion: if you have not already, you might want to take a look at some threads on the Learning Differences and Challenges forum here on CC. You might find some very helpful information about neuropsych evals, accommodations, etc.

Best of luck to you and your son.

owlice · 10-30-2009, 09:24 PM

The WISC is the standard instrument for IQ testing; however, it is NOT designed for those of very high IQ. If possible, find a neuropsych familiar with highly-gifted folks. It is very common for highly-gifted kids to have discrepancies in subtests, and it's not always a deficiency -- many highly-gifted kids think differently. Because I'm in a hotel room and not in my office, and I'm ancient and can't remember little things like.... er..... oh! names! That's it!... I can't suggest whose work on the highly-gifted and WISC you might look for. I have that info somewhere on my office computer and hope to remember to post it next week.

Not suggesting he shouldn't take it, but he is likely to run into its limitations, and I don't know how many people out there even recognize its limitations; you want someone who does, if possible.

(Parents Weekend is splendid, and expensive, so far! Kid is stin....er.... "reading" in my hotel bathroom at the moment. We had sushi for dinner -- this made him very happy! -- then hit the grocery store for supplemental food and supplies. He didn't want anyone else, no weekend orphans, to come with us. I'm going to pretend it's because he wanted me all to himself.

)

TearingMyHairOut · 10-30-2009, 10:23 PM

SodiumFree, I am so happy that your son's situation has improved! I do plan to get my son into therapy as soon as possible. Thanks for the pointer to the Learning Differences forum. I hadn't realized that there was such a thing.

owlice, I do know that the WISC is not suitable for very gifted kids. At the time we had the testing done, it was clear that he had "hit the ceiling," but there didn't seem to be any point in having another test done just to pin a number on him. We knew what we needed to know, that he was highly gifted. Of course, I didn't realize until I found out how well he did at CTY just how highly gifted he is. So maybe I should have pursued the other tests. Maybe the low subtests did not indicate a deficiency, or maybe he's outgrown it if he had one? I'm glad you're having a good weekend with your son!

TearingMyHairOut · 10-30-2009, 10:24 PM

mom2collegekids, Didn't see your post until now - I think we posted at the same time. Yes, homeschooling combined with distance-learning and/or college classes is an option I am considering.

bluealien, DS responds very well when someone asks him for help. He is quite mature in those situations, and very responsible. I think that if he were involved in a volunteer situation or job, he would do whatever was necessary.

2boysima, I am thinking that the WISC results are really out of date, and any deficiencies may have been outgrown. Wouldn't the neuropsych battery identify any issues that are in play now?

Shrinkrap, if there is something going on with DS, I think that knowing about it would make a tremendous difference to DS, even if there is not a treatment available. He could certainly learn compensation skills.

arabrab, Yes, there are colleges that he could get to, if they have courses he could take as a non-degree student and non-HS grad. I will look into this. It could be a better option than CC.

Thanks, compmom, I'll take a look over the weekend.

Longhaul, do you have a younger son, and are you anticipating that he will be in my son's shoes in the future? I hope that you can find a solution before you get to our point. I will definitely update the thread. It will be strange, though, if the neuropsych tests are all normal, now that I am expecting that something will be found!