Need during-HS gap year ideas for bright, failing son

TearingMyHairOut · 10-29-2009, 11:02 PM

There is too much identifying information in the posts under my regular username, so I am using a temporary account for this thread. Please assume that all information I give here is accurate, and that we have not been sitting on our hands as DS' academic career circled the drain.

DS is an 11th grader, almost 17, and failing HS. He did very badly in 9th and 10th grade, and is off to a very bad start in 11th. His GPA is probably between 1.0 and 2.0. He gets near-perfect scores on all tests, but does not do homework or projects. Although DH and I are still working with him on his motivational issues, we believe that he is rapidly approaching the point at which continuing HS does not make sense. Two bad years followed by two years of excellent performance is one thing; three bad years, and there is not much point in doing the fourth, while watching classmates make plans for college. I am working on a Plan B, and hoping that some of you can help me with ideas.

DS is brilliant. He has been to CTY summer programs, where he thrived and excelled. The teachers there told us that he is extraordinarily talented in math and science, even among that group. He was labeled "highly gifted" by the school system early on, based on intelligence testing and their observations, and there has been some acceleration in math and science. He has some significant achievements in a science, and he has taken two AP courses in science, and scored "5" on the exams. He spends a great deal of time learning on his own and pursuing a science-related hobby. He reads widely, and he is an original thinker. He is a good kid, kind, compassionate, respectful to teachers and other adults, well-liked by other kids. His friends are great kids, all doing well in school. There is no question of drug or alcohol use.

This is what I have in mind: unless DS is able to get his act together very soon (and he may when confronted with Plan B as the alternate path), he will drop out of HS when he turns 17 (a few months from now). At 17, he is old enough for Americorps. I had thought that he might do a year of volunteer work with them, but after spending some time on their website, I'm not sure that this will be possible. Most of their programs seem to start in the fall, and there don't seem to be many that do not require at least a HS degree. And I'm not sure that they are looking for HS dropouts who need a maturing experience.

If Americorps does not work, then I would look for another volunteer activity or a research internship. Again, I'm not sure what I will find given DS' situation. (And it will be me looking, not DS. He does not have the necessary motivation or resourcefulness.) Another possibility is a job, but I don't think that he will have many possibilities in this economy.

After one year out of HS, DS would be eligible for entry to our local CC, maybe even in their spring semester. If he does very well at CC, he will have some good transfer opportunities.

I would be very grateful for suggestions on possibilities for this gap year.

speihei · 10-29-2009, 11:16 PM

Sorry to meddle because it looks like you've done your share of work already but has your son had a psychiatric evaluation? Before I sent him away on volunteer activities or internships, I'd want to be satisfied that there isn't some underlying issue that might be addressed. If you've already done that, sorry for bringing it up.

What about looking at the places where he's succeeded? What do the CTY people suggest? Someone with whom he's succeeded might be willing to mentor him.

SmithieandProud · 10-29-2009, 11:31 PM

I second the idea of seeing a counselor or getting an evaluation. A highly gifted kid doesn't just decide one day to turn into a high school drop out without some kind of underlying issue.

And while this may seem a little bit a of a silly question but Why does he have to drop out? It's going to be very, very hard for a high school dropout with bad grades and no job to find any kind of meaningful volunteer opportunity. Research internships are definitely out, for any high school kid research internships are not common and go to the high-performing students. Most volunteer programs that are offered during the school year are for people who have graduated high school (assumption being that otherwise they would be in school during the fall and spring and so not able to volunteer full time).

And jobs, well, the ones he would probably find stimulating he isn't qualified for, and as for the others, if you were an employer would you want to hire a kid who dropped out of high school because he chose not to be motivated? What happens when he decides he doesn't want to go to work that day?

I don't have kids and I'm a young person, so I don't want to criticize. But it seems like you're putting all of this effort into looking for a service program or a job for him, shouldn't you be re-directing that effort towards forcing him to work harder in school and to stay in school? It's only for one more year, and having a high school diploma even with lousy grades will at least get something going for him.

Does your district offer any alternative high school options? Special academies for kids that need self-directed learning (maybe if he had a chance to study what he wants, he would be more motivated?)? It might seem not worth it to transfer for just one year, but anything is frankly a better option than dropping out.

TearingMyHairOut · 10-29-2009, 11:35 PM

There are no psychiatric problems, and no learning disabilities. He is quite demoralized about having ruined his chances to go to a selective college, and neither we nor the HS people have been able to convince him that his academic life is not over at age 16. We've told him that if he can turn his grades around then he will have some good college choices - not the ones he would have had if he'd done well throughout HS, of course. He will have near-perfect SATs and he does have some unusual accomplishments. But if he can't pull this year together soon, then I see no point in having him stay around for the rest of 11th grade and all of 12th. I think that this could lead to depression.

What I think he needs most right now is to get out of his rut, and be in a situation where he can be useful and productive.

Maybe I could get some suggestions from CTY - thanks.

TearingMyHairOut · 10-29-2009, 11:46 PM

Smithie, you bring up some good points, and maybe I am too optimistic about finding a "gap year" activity for him. I have to smile at this: "...shouldn't you be re-directing that effort towards forcing him to work harder in school and to stay in school." There has been a great deal of effort and resources devoted to trying to motivate him to perform in school. Now I am considering other possibilities.

I will look into alternative paths to a HS diploma. Our district is very small, but there might be something in the wider region.

It is not unheard of for a highly gifted student to drop out of HS without an underlying reason. In fact, the dropout rate among the very highest-ability group is as high as in the lowest-ability group. I am not excusing DS, and I am very frustrated that he won't, or can't, do what is necessary to get good grades. But he is not unique.

siliconvalleymom · 10-29-2009, 11:48 PM

I wonder if Stanford's online high school program might be an option. I think you can find it through their EPGY program. He's clearly capable, and he might rise to the occasion if he were studying something more interesting to him.

TearingMyHairOut · 10-29-2009, 11:56 PM

Thank you, siliconvalleymom. I am aware of the EPGY online school, and DS has done several of the EPGY math and physics courses. I had considered this school when it opened, but DS needs to be with other people during the day. He spends much time alone as it is, because he is quite intense about his hobby. But I hadn't thought of this possibility lately, and I will keep it in mind.

GracieBee · 10-30-2009, 12:11 AM

Aren't there colleges for kids like this? I mean colleges that take kids before they finish high school? Simon's Rock comes to mind. I don't know how the failing grades would affect admissions chances but perhaps the strong teacher recs and test scores might compensate. Your son seems like someone who thrives on academic challenge, which makes me think you need to get him into someplace more academically intense, not something like a volunteering gap year. Could he take college classes at the local U and maybe transfer to a more selective school later? That would give him a fresh start of sorts and not make him feel like his chances at a good college are ruined.

pixeljig · 10-30-2009, 12:24 AM

Could he take the GED?

TearingMyHairOut · 10-30-2009, 12:25 AM

Gracie, that is a really intriguing idea. I just spent some time on the Simon's Rock website, and I see that they accept some students in January. Their description of their students fits DS perfectly:

"They tend to be smart, independent-minded, self-directed, creative, and passionate about learning. Some of them are academic stars (in high school they might have been in the National Honor Society, or they might have joined Odyssey of the Mind or the National Science Olympiad or Academic Decathlon), but in general they’re not motivated by grades; they’re motivated by ideas, by the prospect of knowing more, making connections, surprising themselves, applying their brains to thorny problems and complicated issues. They might be deeply involved in civic action or community service (they might have been—and might still be—involved in Amnesty International or Habitat for Humanity or Model United Nations), but not because it’ll look good on their resume; they’re involved because the world matters, and they matter in the world. Maybe the most important thing about them is that they’re all here, and nowhere else."

I wonder whether they would even consider DS? I am going to look into this. Thank you for the suggestion.

Four responses to my post, four great suggestions or good points that I hadn't thought of. CC is amazing!

Calreader · 10-30-2009, 12:32 AM

Are his accomplishments strong enough to be worth talking to Cal Tech? If the main issue is not wanting to take high school classes, maybe going to college early is the solution. If the issue is that he doesn't like the demands of any kind of classes, then college isn't likely to help. (Agreeing with GracieBee.)

Or maybe he could get a part-time job for people time and do EPGY for learning.

nysmile · 10-30-2009, 12:32 AM

Re: Simon's Rock and January admission.

The following is from their website:

"In addition, we enroll a small class every January and some students choose to begin at Simon's Rock in the middle of the junior or senior year. The application deadline for January entry is December 1. The AEP Scholarship is not available for students entering in January, though all other forms of merit- and need-based aid are offered."

TearingMyHairOut · 10-30-2009, 12:32 AM

pixeljig, Yes, at some point he could take the GED. I'm sure he could pass it easily. But I don't know whether a HS-age student could take it - isn't it more for adults?

'rentof2 · 10-30-2009, 12:35 AM

Okay......... from way out here in left field:

Why not leave school now and begin homeschooling. No point in getting 3 bad years of school under his belt when he already has 2.

My kids were homeschooled from the ground up, and in many ways that's easier than making a big change mid-stream, but I think you could very well end doing your kid a world of good.

Get this book: The Teenage Liberation Handbook: how to quit school and get a real life and education by Grace Llewellyn.

This is about an approach to homeschooling that we didn't really do because we had a somewhat more traditional thing going that was working for us, but for a kid like your son, even if you don't follow this path I promise the clouds will clear and sky will brighten and you'll find a path that works for you and him. It takes guts and faith, but oh what an empowering adventure for the whole family.

He could do things with the next 2 or 3 years (nobody says you HAVE to go to college when you're 18 after all) that are remarkable.

nysmile · 10-30-2009, 12:38 AM

Before you get excited about Simon's Rock, look at the cost.

2009-2010

Tuition: $39,380
Student Activity Fee: $150
Campus Residence Fee: $10,960
Health Services Fee: $640
First-Year Orientation Fee: $550

With his low GPA, I don't think he will qualify for any type of scholarship (according to their website).

Maybe a combo of homeschooling and community college classes would be a good option for him. Before considering homeschooling, make sure he is willing and motivated enough to comply with your rules and expectations.