Freshmen budgets/spending money? - Page 2

hayze · 11-01-2009, 10:35 AM

we use both a flex account (thru her school) and a debit account for our D. The flex account pays for nearly everything on campus and some things off campus. She had $250 in there for the semester. Her debit account is used for trips to Walmart to buy meds, snacks and other incidental. She had $250 in there. So far so good. Her meal plan includes additional dining dollars which are separate from her flex card $$.
$500 for the semester - books were bought ahead of time.

The Mom · 11-01-2009, 11:09 AM

We pay the big bills, tuition, room/board, books. S1 (now in grad school) payed for any expenses out of his campus job, but had our credit card for airline tickets home. S2, now a freshman, is learning that his money doesn't go too far. He is using his summer earnings for discretionary spending. He also has our credit card for airline tickets and any other necessary school expenses. Both were told they were on own for spending $$ before heading to college.

IMO, if the parents pay the big bills, it is the student's responsibility to pay for dining out, entertainment, etc. That is what summer jobs are for, and when will they learn financial responsibility if they can always dip into mom and/pr dad's wallet??

geezermom · 11-01-2009, 12:10 PM

We are almost halfway through sophomore year, and it still varies. Last semester, for example, he cut back his meal plan and we sent him lunch money to cover the days he didn't have time for lunch in a dining hall. Recently he moved to a university-run apartment, and we are still sorting out the new budget. I'm sure it will always be a work in progress. We are fortunate that he has in-state tuition at an OOS university, so the cost is reasonable enough that we're able to cover his monthly expenses. He put his summer earnings in a car fund, which is fine with us. He asks before using the credit card for extra books, clothes, etc. He's not a big spender, so it works fine. A lot depends on your relationship with your child around money. Ours doesn't have a blank check, and he doesn't expect one.

msmayor · 11-01-2009, 12:55 PM

We sat down with our daughter before she left and helped her work up a realistic budget for the year using the funds she had in HER savings account.

She knew that we were covering the lion's share of tuition, room and board...and we made it perfectly clear that her earnings/savings would have to cover books, necessities like shampoo, laundry supplies, etc. as well as her "fun" money to go out with friends.

By breaking up her savings into three "pots" (her school is on the quarter-system, so she'll go three quarters this year) and immediately taking out an estimate for books and supplies, she knew what was left for everything else. Divided by 10-weeks and she knew what she could comfortably afford to spend each week.

We told her to keep good track of her spending this first quarter and when she returns home for break we'd help her go over what her actual costs were, and adjust as needed for the rest of the year.

We were adamant about her NOT having a credit card. She herself didn't want one...too much temptation. While there may be some who say that she should have one for emergencies...if anything comes up and she needs significant sums all she needs to do is call us and we can help her take care of it. In addition, in a pinch, I can transfer immediate-access funds to a debit card she has.

This has worked very well for her so far. Knowing that she is spending HER money, she is far more conscious of what things cost and making thoughtful decisions about where and how to spend her money. She knows that Mom and Dad don't have any extra to spend (though her grandparents have already sent her money...her grandfather even set up a regular monthly 'allowance' on her debit card for her "Starbucks" fund!).

Pizzagirl · 11-01-2009, 01:31 PM

I'm contrarian on this. I was fortunate enough to be full pay, and used a modest allowance from parents plus my own summer job savings for my incidents and fun money.

I would have felt like a complete jerk taking a part-time job when I was a student to pay for my fun little incidentals, knowing that any job I would have taken, whether on or off campus, was taking away from someone who NEEDED that job in order to pay tuition. I could not in good faith advise my own to-be-full-pay students to find a job on campus knowing that other kids depended on those jobs. And if there are nearby off-campus jobs (retail, fast-food, etc.) -- again, same thing applies. What a jerk I'd be to tell my full-pay kids go take the nearby Panera Bread job for your fun money when some other kid really needs that money to stay on campus. It would go against my values -- I'd rather give my kids the fun money, knowing that they've "earned" it by their good grades and good performance, and let the opportunity for paying jobs go to kids who really need them.

eggmom · 11-01-2009, 01:43 PM

We deposited $500 in S's account in August. To cover books, gas, entertainment, runs to Target, etc. He also had $75 school bucks for laundry, extra food, etc.

At the time, I figured he would run out pretty quickly with first semester odds and ends. But, he has not asked for a penny more and says he is in good shape whenever I prod.

He lucked out with books, they were less than $150. But also he is a tightwad and is saving $$$ to buy an electric guitar.

oldfort · 11-01-2009, 01:46 PM

A job is not a charity. You don't give a job to someone because he/she needs a job, that's how it is in the real world. My daughter applied for a job on campus that wasn't designated for work study. She was hired because she was the best candidate. They've had many workers in and out of that office for the last 3 years, but they love D1. They are holding the job open while she is studying abroad this semester. She will go back this Spring and next year as a senior. They said she has done more in the office (organize their database, website, budget) than other students. D1 also teaches ballet, which I don't think that many people could do.

Just because we could afford to pay full fare for her and also to pay for all her spending money, it doesn't mean she shouldn't have equal opportunity as other students when it comes to work experience, which is a very important part of overall education. She needs work experience to get meaningful internship, in turn to get permanent employment someday. It's all part of resume building. No different than what she did in HS in order to get into college.

It is a mistake to graduate from college with no work experience.

kantianethicist · 11-01-2009, 01:57 PM

I am always amused when parents don't want their kids to work while they're at school... as if they are spending 24/7 studying and a part-time job will hurt their academic performance. D has had a job since day 1 (4 hours per day/3 days per week) and has top grades at top school and still finds time to volunteer, socialize and do what pleases her extracurricularly.

They want to be treated like adults, so why not expect them to act like it too?

Supposedly, studies show that a job helps a student manage time better and encourages self-discipline.

That said, nothing wrong with sending them off with some funding, paying for transportation home for the holidays, giving them a pile of quarters for laundry, etc. I did that, and send a funny card occasionally with a gift card inside to Starbucks or CVS.

You can show you care without being overly indulgent.

If my kid ever charged something like a tattoo on my credit card--I would go through the roof and make sure every dime was paid back. I actually saw a show on MTV last year where a student did this to his mother. She was working 2 jobs to pay for his schooling and he had the nerve to get a tattoo that cost several thousand dollars and appeared shocked that she was so mad and tried to manipulate her into forgiving him. He didn't even seem that remorseful about what he had done. I was speechless. This poor woman was sacrificing so much for her son's future and he practically spit in her face.

It's tough out there in the real world--especially now--and mom and dad aren't always going to be there to bail them out--the sooner kids learn that lesson the better off they'll be.

I see too many spoiled kids--and not just from wealthy families. Even though it's done out of love, it's counterproductive. Better a job than an allowance, imho.

Modadunn · 11-01-2009, 02:03 PM

If my son could find a job on campus or slightly off (he doesn't have a car), I have no issue with him taking the job regardless if we are full pay. I agree that life doesn't work like that and while I believe in certain social programs that assist others less fortunate, a job (that is not work study) is not a social program. You would never presume to say my husband shouldnt have a job because there are others who may depend on it more. Life isn't going to be handed to my kid on a silver platter and it's best he accepts that now.

sabaray · 11-01-2009, 02:38 PM

Well, our pattern differs depending on which child we are talking about. We are paying $0 for our D to attend college and she received a stipend in the form of a scholarship which is covering her books and some expenses for entertainment and the like. She is going to rush in the spring and if she decides to pledge, we will pay the expenses associated for the sorority. Son is a money pit! Is on work-study, thank goodness, but I usually send him $50 a week with a "motivational letter". Works for us.

And regarding working- D didn't work in high school and I don't want her to work now. I'm a firm believer that education is her job right now. Son worked in high school and didn't work at the academics. He enjoys working but I know D would be completely overwhelmed if she had one more thing on her plate right now.

3bysmom · 11-01-2009, 02:54 PM

As far as the job goes, frankly I was surprised that he was hired - figuring all of those on-campus jobs would be reserved for work-study kids. BUT my son has a great personality, is very good at what he does and I have to assume that they would rather have the set of qualifications from a student who doesn't necessarily "need" the job than a less qualified student who does. Old Fort is right, everyone needs work experience. I want him to work was just a little concerned about the first semester part of it (learning how to manage the academic expectations of an Ivy).

psych_ · 11-01-2009, 03:06 PM

Oh, I hate these threads--they inevitably turn into a bragfest about giving your kid the least amount of money (i.e., "your kid is soo much more spoiled than mine"). And I don't think most college kids need an allowance, either (maybe in some special circumstances).

Modadunn · 11-01-2009, 03:52 PM

Money doesn't spoil kids. It's the attitude. I know plenty of rich kids who aren't spoiled in the least and plenty of not rich kids who think the world owes them a kite on a string. Money is not the defining difference. Some kids can work and do the academics required and some can't. I feel badly for those who really need to be hitting the books trying to make a job work as well because they are on work study. But this much I know: My definition of emergency spending is usually not the same as what my son would consider emergency spending. Give credit cards with caution.

SDMomof3 · 11-01-2009, 04:12 PM

There really is no reason to give your child your credit card if you want them to have money. My son's debit card (linked to his checking account) has the Visa symbol and is accepted pretty much anywhere the Visa is accepted. His checking account is linked to my account, and I can transfer money online to him instantly. So, if he has a big purchase he thinks I should be paying for (books, trip home), he can call me to ask for the money to be transferred to his account, and then he uses his debit card. He knows better than to ask me to pay for a tattoo! Believe me, he would be paying every cent of that back to me before he saw another dime!

3bysmom · 11-01-2009, 04:43 PM

Oh yes, he has already paid us back for the tattoo - and at the rate of $8/hour it represented many hours fixing people's computers, I hope he enjoys it (not!)