Freshmen budgets/spending money?

3bysmom · 11-01-2009, 09:07 AM

I am curious how most folks handle $$ for their kids? I guess I'm primarily speaking to those folks that have the tuition/ board/books covered but recognize that everyone needs a an allowance for things like the occasional burrito, fraternity party, date, new outfit. I know we should have had this conversation with our S in August before he left for college but we didn't, and just handed him a credit card and said "use it wisely". Don't even tell me - ridiculous, I know. So we are thinking of sitting down with him over Thanksgiving and coming up with a realistic budget and giving him a check and letting him manage it on his own. We'd probably start with half a semester and then switch to the full year in his Junior year. What have you all done? Thanks!

mom2collegekids · 11-01-2009, 09:23 AM

^^^

We made the same mistake with DS1. We knew that he wouldn't have a part-time job his first semester (our choice), so we knew that we'd be footing his expenses during that time.

We gave him a credit card. The first 2 months were fine - text book purchases, toiletries, and reasonable extra charges - Five Guys here, Coldstone there, a couple of movies, etc. Then, he and his friends started to more explore the town and the off-campus hangouts. Soon, his monthly bill was NOT acceptable. The first high month, we talked to him, the second month we were annoyed. At that point, the semester was over.

He got an on-campus tutoring job for the second semester (he needed a minimum of 53 credits to do this - which is why we had to wait til second semester (AP credits + first semester).
Well, that did the trick. By working 8-10 hours a week, not only does he not have a lot of time to spend money, but now he's earning his own. He doesn't spend as much as he earns, so he's actually saving money!

DS2 will start tutoring next semester.

I should add that at their school, they have what is commonly known as "flex dollars" or "dining dollars" that are in addition to their meal plans. This pays for the on-campus "3rd party food venues," like Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Panda Express, etc, plus a few off-campus places.

I know that the OP is asking about an allowance. If I had to give my kid an allowance (and he didn't have flex dollars), I'd probably give him $50-75 a week - or about $250/month. However, with a flex dollars plan (in addition to meal plan), he might "need" less. But, that's just a guess. A kid would need more money if he/she had to buy clothes with the allowance.

To me, a small part-time job is the best answer... LOL

college_query · 11-01-2009, 09:26 AM

I'm sure there are as many answers to this question as there are parents - we don't have a lot of money and live paycheck to paycheck. My daughter is at a school that meets full need, thankfully, and her dorm and meal plan are covered. I deposit $60 into her bank account on the 15th and last day of the month ($120 a month). She was supposed to get work study but in spite of interviewing for several jobs never got a position. She goes to school in the Boston area and spends money on transportation on the weekends (they have a free shuttle bus during the week) and an occasional meal out/sundries. She's used to living very frugally at home so it may also depend on what they are used to.

TheAnalyst · 11-01-2009, 09:27 AM

Does your son have savings from summer jobs he had while in high school? We helped our son set up a bank account with a bank that was dominant on his campus, transferred his high school savings to a checking account with that bank, and he is expected to cover all incidentals from that.

oregonianmom · 11-01-2009, 09:30 AM

Our son is a sophomore who goes to college on the other side of the country. Last year we didn't really set any rules with regard to using the credit card or giving him cash, and it was frustrating because he was frequently calling home asking for money, or using his credit card without checking with us first. So when he was home for a break last year, we talked to him about how much he thought he needed in spending money, considering all his meals are paid for. We agreed upon a figure, and now I make a deposit into his bank account twice a month. It's not a lot; actually it's the same amount we gave him as an allowance in high school ($40 twice a month, so $80 a month). We don't set any restrictions on what he does with it, but he has to manage it knowing that he won't get any more money until "payday." If he needs to buy bigger ticket items like clothing or school supplies, he uses our credit card.

This semester he has a part-time job but is trying to save money, so for now we are continuing with the "allowance."

ellemenope · 11-01-2009, 09:31 AM

$200 a month that we transfer into her checking account. The money covers laundry, sundries, school supplies, clothing, whatever non-dining hall eating and entertainment she wants. If she wants to take a big trip or buy an expensive item later, she can save her money now.

Whatever money she saves is hers to keep and use as she feels--we haven't talked about her getting a tattoo, though.

Another way that is very popular is to have your kid work a summer/campus job to pay for their "extras" during college. We realize that we are pretty generous with our kids. But if you really want to teach them the value of a buck, make them earn it themselves.

oldfort · 11-01-2009, 09:40 AM

We give our daughter an allowance, which is deposited monthly into her account. On top of that she also works part time on campus, 8-10 hrs/week. She has a credit card from us for emergency or for big ticket items (books). I think this way she has control of how she wants to spend her money. She is very good about asking us to use the card first.

On the other hand, her best friend's parents deposits money into her acct whenever they see the acct is low. The friend never really has a budget and never knows how how much she can/cannot spend. So she she just buys things until her parents say no.

The difference between my daughter and her friend is (even though her friend probably spends more money), my daughter could commit to go on a trip or a big ticket item herself because it's her money, whereas her friend would always need to ask her parents first.

It's been discussed on this forum many times about spending money. I don't think it's the amount it matters (you could figure out after a few months on your kid's spending habit), it's how it's given and who has control over it. I don't think parents should be obligated to give in order for their kid to keep up with the Jones, because they'll always be people that have more to spend. It's better to be an amount everyone is comfortable with - may it be summer job, work study or family allowance.

3bysmom · 11-01-2009, 09:50 AM

Hahaha - actually that is the situation that pushed us over the edge! $360 for a hideous tatoo! and on OUR credit card (talk about adding insult to injury!)

dbwes · 11-01-2009, 09:55 AM

We deposit $500 a semester into a college flex money kind of thing, for use around campus for things over and above the meal plan.
Last spring, she had almost half left over in it so we just put in enough to bring it up to $500 this semester.
She also uses money from her own summer earnings.
H slips her a $20 now and then

.

oldfort · 11-01-2009, 09:55 AM

What is it with the tattoo? Someone else also posted the daughter spent $1000 for a tattoo.

Modadunn · 11-01-2009, 09:57 AM

We have done essentially exactly what Analyst has done. Fortunately, one of S's best friends is on the same plan so together they are fairly frugal. We gave him a little "pocket" money over PW and I have recently admitted to sending him an email with 10 questions that I agreed to pay him $5 an answer (given they were more than one word and offered some further insight). While intended as a semi-joke, if was worth the $50 to me. And although we've never done it, my sister has agreed to "pay" him for good grades (and I think she sent him some money as well already). So given all that and that nothing has been set in stone, I think he's living fairly well while still being a "poor" college student."

We pay his tuition, R&B and books. There are no flex-dollars.

3bysmom · 11-01-2009, 10:04 AM

"On the other hand, her best friend's parents deposits money into her acct whenever they see the acct is low. The friend never really has a budget and never knows how how much she can/cannot spend. So she she just buys things until her parents say no. "

Unfortunately this has been a pattern transferred down from both my H and I and our experiences with money (even though we come from different backgrounds re wealth) We are very fortunate to have the means to provide for all expenses and our children have trust funds set up by their grandparents. But this is a double edged sword in that they will have to manage wealth earlier than some others (I know, tough situation). There is so much other emotional stuff tied up in all of this. I will say that S found a job on his own (w/o us knowing) and loves it! It pays well and is in his field of interest. I guess I just need someone to tell me to employ strong parenting and draw the line, at 18 they do not need nor should they expect to live the same lifestyle that their parents do - this is plenty of time later for that!

On a funny side note - my S attends Penn and he told us that there is a frat that for a pledge task sees who can spend the most $ on one thing without their parents getting mad! Guess there are a fair number of kids out there whose parents may have the same issues!

3bysmom · 11-01-2009, 10:06 AM

I didn't speak to him for almost a week I was so mad. Guess that's why the lord invented lasers! Looking around campus at parents weekend I did see lots though.

China · 11-01-2009, 10:06 AM

"Does your son have savings from summer jobs he had while in high school? We helped our son set up a bank account with a bank that was dominant on his campus, transferred his high school savings to a checking account with that bank, and he is expected to cover all incidentals from that."

This is exactly what I would say. The only thing we also did was help him get a secured credit card (in his name so he could start to build credit) and he uses that for some purchases then makes the payments. It's all his responsibility though.

oldfort · 11-01-2009, 10:10 AM

D1 just called from Melbourne this morning. I asked her about the hotel she's staying at with her friend. She told me it was a dump, 4 white walls with no decoration, but very centrally located. I told her that I hate staying at dumpy hotels and asked her why she was there. She said, "I do dislike dumpy hotels too, but I am at a different point of my life than you are." The trip is paid by us and I am glad she had enough sense not to stay at a five star.