The challenge of letting kids go

[poetgrl]

worknprogress- A friend and I have a deal regarding the unsolicited advice...She or I can call each other and give the unsolicited advice we can't give our kids to each other....It can get hillarious on those phone calls. It also serves to lighten it up, a little.

[Columbia_Student]

Mine always treated me like an orchid, because they did not know what to expect of me, I would be a tough vegetable.

[compass]

I learn so much from these posts. I do not want to let my arrows go; nor do I want the orchids out of sight. It's a major adjustment, and yes, loss.

[whatever4]

The advice to parents to think of their children as orchids is beautiful and appropriate -- as long as the kids don't grow up thinking of themselves as orchids. (And it sounds like OP is making sure his/her kids are not.) My kids are going to have to be a lot sturdier and more self-reliant than orchids; I don't have much of a green thumb.

[doame]

I'm enjoying this thread and also love hyeonlee's philiosophy. Your children are very fortunate to have such parents. (I am hoping to raise sturdy, stunning roses )

One of the most memorable compliments I ever received was when someone said to me: "You have the personality of someone who was well loved." I was ... and I interpreted the compliment as more to my parents. My parents loved me very much and let me make mistakes. The were always there, but living their own life and encouraging me to live mine. When I was young, I made some really dumb decisions, and my parents were accepting of them. I find I have to work at asking questions and helping my children follow their path -- and not telling them what I think the path should be. Letting go is difficult.

I just hope that sometime down the road, my kids have someone tell them "You have the personality of someone who was well loved." I think it was said to me because I was happy and secure. ...everything I want for my children.

[rocket6louise]

Wow. That was a good article
It's just kinda weird for me. My mom and dad both worked full time and were busy. It's like we all live seperate lives, so, while I will miss them, it's not like it's tearing us apart.

I'm just not close with them

[mummom]

Another article milking the woes of the "boomer" generation. As my son pointed out to me (college freshman) most of the parents of his friends are not boomers. They came of age in the eighties, which a "boomer" does not make. As for "letting go," this has been an issue for mothers and fathers everywhere from time immemorial. Just finished reading John P. Marquands "So Little Time." Son at Harvard and about to enter WWII. Father having "letting go" issues. Hmmm.....

[wis75]

I like the roses- they have thorns, just as son does!