Child getting cold feet

[CountingDown]

ihs, S1 was also 16 when he hit the "send" button on his EA apps. It is a real time of reckoning for these kids -- no matter how one looks at the admissions process, they are about to be judged, and that is a scary thing. It's tough to pour heart and soul into an application and then have to wait to see "if you're good enough" -- and no matter how tough the odds and how qualified your kid is, it STILL feels like judgment on a certain level.

We made sure he felt be happy with the flagship (which was the financial, admittance and close-to-home option) and then let him loose wherever else he wanted to apply. A gap year would not have worked for him -- he likes structure. By April, he was done with HS and ready to move on to better things and had matured tremendously. When he sat down with us the third weekend in April to tell us what his thoughts were, it was clear he had committed himself to an intense, mature analysis. It has become clear since that it was an excellent, if not perfect decision -- but he has made it work for him in ways that his other choices could not have done.

I suspect S2's reluctance to get on with essays reflects some ambivalence about leaving -- not that he wants to stay home, but the people and things that are most important in his life are also changing over the next year, and it takes time to grapple with that.

It is TOTALLY normal to have doubts, and I'd let your S know that. He is not alone.

[ihs76]

In retrospect, I suppose it's completely predictable. I was just taken back initially by the tone of wistfulness in DS's voice. This kid has always been a very mater of fact, lets get to the next thing kid.

As other parents have said, the moment of pushing 'send' really did distill many years of work and hopes into a single definable moment. More emotional for me than I would have expected. And for him, too.

[NewEnglandMother]

My DD was young also - started college this year at 16 and turned 17 shortly thereafter. The cold feet were present up (off & on) to the time I dropped her off at school (on the other side of the country!). She is now happily ensconced at college and wouldn't have it any other way. Already has plans for Thanksgiving on the west coast too. Looking for overseas programs for next summer. Good luck - it worked out fine in our case with lots of second guessing.