Question from a college frosh

SingDanceRunLife · 11-05-2009, 05:22 PM

I'm a nursing major, currently taking anatomy&physiology I. My professor is awful and doesn't teach, plus, she's a fairly nasty person and an overall jerk. Next semester there's A&P II, and I was told today that I'm required to take that class with my current professor because all of the freshmen nursing majors have to be in the same section of the course. I refuse to take a class with said professor again, and my mom thinks that's perfectly reasonable. I looked into taking the equivalent at a college in my area over the summer, but none are offering it. My mom said that she's willing to call the school and use her law skills to try and convince them to let me take A&P II with a different professor. Is it reasonable for a parent to do something like that? I realize that I'm an adult and that I'm in college and things should be dealt with by me, but I've already talked to my adviser who happens to be the dean of nursing, and she won't let me, and A&P II is required before progressing into the second year courses.

Thanks!

Pizzagirl · 11-05-2009, 05:31 PM

See the thread on "helicopter parenting." No, it is entirely inappropriate for your mother to call the school and try to convince them that her daughter should have a different professor. Part of being an adult is learning how to deal with situations and people that are unpleasant. What will you do when you are forced to provide nursing care to someone you don't care for, or work with a doctor you don't care for?

ucsd_ucla_dad · 11-05-2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Is it reasonable for a parent to do something like that?

No - I don't think so. You're at the point where you need to take care of things like this yourself. You might not get anywhere with your request but your parent likely wouldn't get any further and would likely only irk those she contacts.

If you can't get switched to another prof you think you'd like better and can't come up with another reasonable alternative like taking it at another college then you probably just need to suck it up and take it from this prof again unless the prof's doing something unlawful. You need to just deal with 'nasty' and 'jerk' people - usually by ignoring those aspects. If the prof doesn't do an adequate job of teaching you'll just have to figure out how to make up for that by teaching yourself the material from the books and lecture notes, by consulting with TAs more, by studying with and consulting classmates, etc. Remember that unless the prof is new, she's probably had many classes of students who have managed to make it through her class and move on even if they had to accommodate the bad prof. You may as well get used to some of this because there's a chance this won't be the last bad prof you'll have.

Good luck with it - I can understand why you're frustrated with it.

calmom · 11-05-2009, 05:46 PM

As a lawyer-parent myself, I would never do that for a college kid. This is one of those issues you need to resolve on your own.

My d. had a similar situation when she started college -- all students at her school were assigned to a section for a mandatory first-year writing course, and no changes were allowed. My d. knew from day one that she could not deal with the prof for her section, and was determined to change to a different section. This was one of those "never done" situations. My d. was persistent and she got her section move -- she literally spent hours talking to her advisor, and she also came up with a plan to force the move. (She made a different change to her schedule that created a conflict -- so instead of asking for a change based on a personality conflict with the prof, she was asking for the change so that she could take the other class scheduled at the same time).

I realize that you have already tried to make a change and been unsuccessful -- and without your mom's help you may not achieve your desired goal. You MIGHT get the change that you are determined to get, or you MIGHT have to suck it up and deal with the inept, nasty & jerky teacher (just like all of the other freshmen nursing majors in your section). [Keep in mind that one reason the Dean might be so intransigent is that she gets this complaint from others as well - so you might just be the 9th kid asking for a change this semester, and she isn't going to say yes to you after she's said no to the others.]

That's life -- sometimes you have to make it through a bad situation, and in college there will always be some bad teachers -- later on, you will find that you have to sometimes work under the auspices of an equally unbearable supervisor. So part of your education is learning how to cope with difficult people and difficult circumstances.

Do ask your mom for her advice -- it is inappropriate for your mom to intervene directly, but perfectly acceptable for her to help you strategize. Ask her to share those "law skills" -- what would she say? How would she frame the issue? I would note that "law skills" like threatening a lawsuit invariably backfire -- but I'm assuming your mom is referring to her settlement and mediation skills.

And yes, my daughter did ask for my input back when she had the experience I reported, and I gave her pretty much the same advice I'm giving you. The bottom line is that you have to be persistent, and you need to give the adviser some other, different reason to accede to your request than the one you have presented so far -- and you have to recognize that you are in the position of asking for a favor, not making a demand.

ADad · 11-05-2009, 06:06 PM

What will you do when you have a patient who is

Quote:

a fairly nasty person and an overall jerk?

SingDanceRunLife · 11-05-2009, 06:32 PM

^ I can deal with that. I've worked in childcare and retail, so I'm completely used to dealing with awful people on a regular basis.

thumper1 · 11-05-2009, 06:37 PM

I do not think it appropriate for the mom to intervene here. Sorry...just not right.

BUT I do advise this student to advocate for herself. Don't state opinions...just state the FACTS. If it's an issue of not being taught the material or something of that sort, someone in the school may listen to you. If it's just your opinion about the professor's personality...likely they won't.

Anecdote...when I was in high school, my plan was to be a premed major. I was a very strong math and science student...until I had my 10th grade geometry teacher. She was, simply put...AWFUL. Her method of teaching was to assign homework and then have the kids put it on the board every day. She didn't teach at all. I did fine in Geometry, but I couldn't stand the lack of instruction...and I really didn't think this teacher was giving me decent instruction. I went to the GC (a former PE teacher...I think all of the GCs back in the day were former PE teachers) when I was assigned to the SAME teacher for algebra 2. She gave me that line about "you're going to have to deal with people you don't agree with all your life...may as well start now". So...I bucked up and dealt with it for a semester. Again...NO...and I mean that...NO teaching took place. I had tutors who were helping me outside of school, but this teacher's tests were also random and not necessarily on the material taught. At the end of the first semester, I BEGGED the GC to change my teacher. She flatly refused (I want to add, that I went to a HUGE high school...1200 students in each grade. There were PLENTY of other sections of Algebra 2). I dropped the class. The reality was that I wasn't going to pass it if I continued.

To this day...It annoys me no end that the GC couldn't have been a better advocate for me.

I would hate to see the OP in a situation where the info she needs isn't given to her and it jeopardizes her future coursework. So...go and advocate for yourself, OP. You can ask your mom what approach to use, but do it yourself.

kitty56 · 11-05-2009, 07:15 PM

I agree with others - not the parent's place to intervene. You have to handle this one on your own. My S has had a couple of very difficult professors and he will tell me about it and I give him some options on how to deal with it, but he is the one who has to do it.

If you are having trouble with the material, then probably others in your class are in the same boat. You can form study groups which can be very helpful or visit your school's tutoring center. If you are not having trouble then this is just something you have to deal with. Perhaps this professor behaves this way on purpose?

beth's mom · 11-05-2009, 07:36 PM

I agree with those who've said your mom shouldn't intervene. It would be totally appropriate, though, for her to coach you on the best way to advocate for yourself. I know where you're coming from - I had a couple lousy profs when I was in college, too. If you can't get out of the class, I'd suggest study groups, tutoring (to the extent it's necessary) and extra hard work. It's a shame that there are bad teachers out there, especially for the price students are paying for college these days, but sometimes you just have to get through it.

nysmile · 11-05-2009, 07:47 PM

Do not have your mother call.

"Next semester there's A&P II, and I was told today that I'm required to take that class with my current professor because all of the freshmen nursing majors have to be in the same section of the course."

"I've already talked to my adviser who happens to be the dean of nursing, and she won't let me, and A&P II is required before progressing into the second year courses."

Based on your previous posts, it's obvious that the school's nursing program has a set curriculum sequence and policy regarding classes. If you want to continue with nursing at this school, you must abide by the rules. Often times, the earlier courses in nursing are set up as to weed out students. To allow you to not take the course with your nursing class peers is not fair to the rest of the students. Either suck it up and deal with it or switch your major.

Again, do not have your mother call. Your situation is not one that should be handled by your mother. You're not in high school anymore. Sorry, but that's the reality of it.

ADad · 11-05-2009, 11:17 PM

Quote:

I'm completely used to dealing with awful people on a regular basis.

Then it would seem that you have the resources to deal with this teacher as well.

SingDanceRunLife · 11-05-2009, 11:25 PM

^ It's different when trying to learn. It's not even that she's a bad teacher. It's that she doesn't teach. Honestly, we're freshmen taking a 200 level course, so to say on the first day of class that we were on our own for learning the material isn't right. I have tried to talk with her on a couple occasions as have many of my classmates, and she honestly doesn't care. My solution is to not deal with her again in a classroom setting unless absolutely necessary...and it's not therefore I won't.

SmithieandProud · 11-05-2009, 11:33 PM

^Well actually, it would seem that is absolutely neccessary. If you've already spoken to the dean and she says it's not okay for you to switch, then guess what? It's not okay for you to switch. You have to take it. Why should you be exempt if all the other freshmen have to suffer? What puts you above the rest of your cohort? Your mom shouldn't call. It isn't going to change the dean's mind, if anything it will probably **** the dean off and make her/him more resistant to letting you change.

It's just one class, hardly the end of the world. Either lawyer your own way out of it, or suck it up and deal with it for one semester. Give the teacher a bad evaluation if you get a chance, complain about her to the dean in writing if you want, but fight your own battles.

SingDanceRunLife · 11-05-2009, 11:37 PM

^ It's not because I can (and will if I really can't take it with the other professor at my school), take it elsewhere over the summer.

And the thing is, I've already done what I can. There's probably not a single person in my class who likes the professor, and at least half of us have talked to her AND our adviser who happens to be the dean of nursing. There isn't much more to do. I'm going to talk with my adviser on Tuesday for pre-registration stuff, and once again try to see if there's anything I can do. If there isn't, I'm going to go ahead and have my mom call. Everyone always tells me to use all of my resources, so I will.

fauve · 11-06-2009, 12:05 AM

It is not the job of the professor to be likeable. She has told your class "you are on your own for learning the material". You may judge 'that is not right', but it is the reality, and it's time for you to accept that reality, and cope (i.e. plan how you will learn the material independently.)

Have you thought a few steps ahead to consider what will happen when mommy calls? She will use up the Dean's time, get the same response as you have, your file will have a note about your unwillingness to follow departmental procedure, etc. Will you ever want a recommendation from the dean of nursing for your first job applications? How will she rank you in terms of maturity, cooperation, and ability to adapt to challenging situations?

Perhaps you should work on developing your inner resources rather than depending on your mother's bark?