What Should We Do? - Page 2

mom22girls · 11-06-2009, 05:26 PM

I'd also recommend reading the book What High Schools Don't Tell You... it outlines some nice summer programs. I've done a lot of researching on geeky-type activities outside the classroom. If this fits your son, you could pm me if you'd like.

oldfort · 11-06-2009, 05:28 PM

When D1 was a senior, there was a very bright 9th grader in her AP Physics class. The boy was taking a math course one level above D1. They all treated the 9th grader well, but they did have to watch what they said in front of him. Sometimes when some students got out of line with some teasing, someone always stepped in. I think it was the case because it's a small school where everyone knew each other. The 9th grader stayed with his peers for homeroom, sports and other electives. It was the best of both world for him. D1's school offered enough advance courses for him to be intellectually challenged at least until he was Junior, and he was able to socialize with kids his age. Since D1 graduated I don't know whether the kid graduated early.

limabeans · 11-06-2009, 05:29 PM

As a teacher, I have seen numerous kids score at the "post-HS" level even when they are only in middle school. (My LD son scored at this level too; he was in 5th grade.) Does that mean he should be placed in a post-HS program? Absolutely not. It sounds like your very bright son is doing exactly what he should be doing: growing up. He should be academically challenged, but let him grow up in the environment where he's allowed to be who he is. (Technically, that simply means that he understands material at the post-HS level.)

PS: My nephew, now 41 years old, had been offered to attend JHU when he was 14. My sister wisely declined their offer.

SmithieandProud · 11-06-2009, 05:38 PM

If your son is doing okay in high school (not flunking his classes due to boredom, making some friends, seems pretty happy), then why move him? He may be academically challenged in college, but he probably won't be socially happy. Plus, why deprive him of the chance to share normal experiences with other kids his age? Prom, first date, driving lessons, these are more than just pointless exercises, they help create a collective "teenage experience" sharing in which gives you a common basis for relating to your peers. Not to mention that your life experiences help enrich your college experience. If he goes now, he won't get as much out of it, nor will he have as much to bring.

Consolation · 11-06-2009, 05:51 PM

I suggest that you go to the Hoagie's web page, where you will find lots of links to resources you can use, including subscription lists devoted to gifted children and their families. You will find people there who have faced these issues and found varied ways to address them, depending on the needs of their kids and the resources of their families.

Northernwoods · 11-06-2009, 05:52 PM

I would trust your instincts, but find opportunities to challenge him. You should also be prepared to reevaluate on an annual basis, maturity is a moving target.

Can he take classes at UT-Austin next year or the year after? My S is gifted in math and has the opportunity to take advanced math classes through the university as a 9th and 10th grader.

His older sister took classes through the U for free through a statewide PSEO program and had a number of friends go to the U full-time their senior year for free as well. Most of them chose to attend other colleges and universities after high school and I'm sure it helped their applications to show that they had successfully completed college-level work.

momofthreeboys · 11-06-2009, 06:23 PM

I agree with all the comments. My best friend went through this with her oldest under encouragement from her scool system. In the end she just found "local" challenging classes at a well thought of LAC in her town, programs for gifted students, and summers at a boarding camp in her kiddo's area of interest while her child continued through the public high school. Because of her child's birthday and even without "skipping grades" the kiido was still a "youngish" college freshman. There is much to be said for social and emotional maturity that only time gives. There is zippo regrets with my friend and her child did extremely well in college and is finishing up this year. Think hard about accelerating your son through his young years. There is a huge difference between finding a college class or two locally for your 15 year old to keep him challenged over the next couple years and "sending him off" to college to live with 18 to 21 year olds. Without a level of maturity it could actually be quite a disaster. After watching my friend I know it's a fearful decision and a life changing one for the child...and a 15 year old is still, at best, a child. Her's was sophisticated and precocious on top of being just darn smart, but none the less a child, too, and in the end she and her husband were glad to be able to have a firm parental pressence during the difficult teen years.

gadad · 11-06-2009, 06:38 PM

Quote:

My husband went to college at 15, and he is a strong advocate of not doing what he did. Especially if you're a boy. Throughout college, my husband was known as "Robin" (as in Batman and ...). He had no trouble academically, but looking back, he wished he had been able to have a different kind of social life in college.

Calreader - At first I thought you were my wife, posting about me, but I actually went to college at 16. I was 40 before I stopped walking around, wearing my juniority (well, if seniority is a word, then . . .) like a weight around my neck. It worked out OK, but it was a heavy price to pay for getting out of college two years before my age-mates. I have a 10th grader who's far more talented than I ever was and 10 years ago we agreed to let him start first grade a year before his November birthday would dictate. But that's it - no farther.

meezermom2 · 11-06-2009, 06:39 PM

D2 went to a magnet math/science school and loved it both academically and socially. I would second TAMS as an excellent option.

wis75 · 11-06-2009, 06:44 PM

Definitely check out the gifted and talented websites- Hoagies is a good place to start. My son went early to kindergarten, compressed/skipped an elementary grade and so went off to college while still 16 (fall birthday) and now is doing fine as a senior. He had the full middle and high school experiences, however. The biggest issue is the possible benefits of spending 4 years in HS. I don't worry about the college experience or maturity as this works out. I do worry about missing a good childhood and experiences one can't replace, but gifted kids are often misfits (that's why they're gifted- asynchronous development) and need to move on. Depending on local options he may end up doing college courses through his HS by the time he is a senior (I know a Wis girl who spent her senior year doing that and it was funded through a state program). There is also the Midwest Talent Search through Northwestern for more GT info/courses.

The biggest issue to resolve is the reason to spend an extra year in HS just to be with agemates (notice I didn't say peers). Would it work socially to have class status with the older kids- he would be with them for 2 years, just as if he had transferred from another school. My son ran cross country and in the fall of freshman year he was still 12 and was teased by higher grade football players who were also waiting for rides after their practice- he turned the jokes onto himself and did fine. He had been well accepted by his peers all along. Have a discussion with your son about HIS reasons to accelerate- they may be an eye opener. He may be disssatified with his current school life.

It may be that he could get into a very elite school by spending an extra year asa HS student, but then he may not. You have an excellent flagship school he could attend and there's always grad school for a top school. PM me if you want.

PS- noted the "in Austin". Your son will end up taking college classes to be intellectually stimulated and can do so from home- definitely check on things with the guidance counselor. My 16 year old was NOT the youngest in his honors physics- there were 2 local HS students younger than he was taking it through Youth Options.

Marian · 11-06-2009, 06:49 PM

College isn't just an educational opportunity; it's a lifestyle. Being three years younger than your classmates ruins the lifestyle aspect for most people. It would be like putting a 6th grader in with a bunch of 9th graders; whatever the abilities of the younger student, he or she just wouldn't fit in.

And it's important to remember that in most instances, at least for top students, college is where you are 24 hours a day for about 8 months of the year. It's not like high school, where some students who feel they don't fit in at school can find happiness elsewhere -- with family, friends, extracurricular activities, and/or a job. At college, a student who doesn't fit in can be very isolated.

Planning to graduate one year early might make sense, though, along with taking advantage of enrichment opportunities, such as summer programs, along the way.

dragonmom · 11-06-2009, 07:05 PM

I know several kids who did the TAMS program at UNT. It served them very well - please look at the website. The state of Texas pays all tuition and fees - parents only pay room and board (special dorm, not mixed with the college kids). They graduate from high school with 2 years of college credits.
In the mean-while, can he jump a few levels for next year's academic classes but still be with other sophomores in other classes?

momofthreeboys · 11-06-2009, 07:08 PM

Boys have the added burden of maturing later, so a 15 year old is still a "boy" while an 18 year old is quite manly physically. I'm not a boy but I raised boys and I imagine that the size and physicality differences would also be a hurdle. Boys are very aware of those things even if they don't articulate stuff like the girls do. I'm sure "Doogie" and "Robin" type comments would not be a rarity, so you would need to figure out if your son can handle that attitude.

amyinaustin · 11-09-2009, 01:20 PM

Thanks for all the great advice! We will discuss the various options with him, excluding the "go to college next year" idea and the "skip the 10th and 11th grade" idea, and let him choose what he wants to do. There is a magnet school in our area, and there are some other excellent options for him. So we will let him make the decision, with the more ridiculous options already removed!

mathmom · 11-09-2009, 01:31 PM

You've gotten great advice here. Just want to emphasize that being ready for college level material does not necessarily mean being ready for college. Our oldest who had scores in the 90th percentile for high school seniors on the SAT in 8th grade did pretty well by starting in on AP courses at the high school as a freshman. He did not seem to be in a hurry to graduate early so we didn't push him. (He did make it clear when he wanted out of courses that were too easy!)

He might still want to graduate early, but probably not this early! BTW my husband's college roommate was 15 as a freshman. He was a nice somewhat awkward nerdy kid, but really no more awkward and nerdy than the other math geeks. I had no idea at all that he was a full two years younger than my husband, and only found out about it a few years ago!