crickett2324

At this point, I'm fairly worried about, how jaded put it, "trading the last years of my childhood, my happiness, and - in some sense - my idealistic innocence". It has me tossin' and turinin' all night.

catg

crickett, you can always wait and apply for 10th grade. One more year at home may find you more than ready to go away.

crickett2324

Well, all my applications are ready to be sent and all so I will probably apply and then make my descicion in March when the time comes.

I feel like my parents have been so supportive and just deciding to flake out will make them doubt me when I truly want something (Like I did w/ B.S.)

KarateDad

Crickett,

One of the things young adults forget is that decisions don't always have to be made immediately. As you said, the applications are ready to go, your parents have been supportive etc. When March 10 comes around, you can see where you got in, take the revisits and then get ready to decide. An application is not a commitment to attend. My guess is that, at that time, your folks will have definite feelings as well. For the time being, just be content knowing that you are going through your own process of discovery. Sometimes the process is more important in what we learn about ourselves and our surrondings then the final decision. Chill.... enjoy the winter months.

crickett2324

"Dont spontaneously combust during" would be the more appropriate word choice then "Enjoy", but thank you KarateDad. Your post DID make it better.

I just feel as if this is going to screw up my childhood. Its not natural for people to do this (live away from home at age 14). I risk a close relationship with my parents and my sisters for dorm life and HARD classes. You can never tell what it will be like living away from viewbooks.

If I dont like it and want to come home, think of the blemishes on my college applications!!

MomofWildChild

If you don't like it, you stick out a year and then come home. There will be absolutely NO blemish on your college applications. My son had 4 high schools on his transcript (long story) and was accepted to several highly selective colleges and is at Penn.

KarateDad

Crickett,

The points you make are valid and I can't really speak to them as well as some of the other parents on this board. As you probably know, my 3 kids were or are day students, and in my opinion, got the best of both worlds. I think there are jealousies both ways ( beween boarders and Day Students) in the BS community. Still, my advice remains the same.... don't put anymore undue pressure on yourself at this point in time. Wait and see what happens in March.

Good Luck!!!

lbftw

crickett, what specifically bothers you about the "loss of innocence" thing? what do you think it entails?

Burb Parent

crickett -- Two of my son's friends did not return after one year because they preferred their home life and public school. The majority are happy, or so he tells me. The school year is much shorter than what you are used to, and you will have 2 breaks of around 3 weeks plus a number of long weekends. You will have more than 3 months of summer vacation unless you training for a varsity sport. The school year goes by quickly, and my son was amazed how time flew by from January to the end of May last year. Congratulations on completing all your applications!

keylyme

I think jaded needs to clarify that.

Crickett, I suppose it's different for everyone, but I don't feel as if our relationship with our older son became any less close because he went to bs. He graduated 5 years ago and we are still extremely close. He calls home almost every day and his family is still the most important thing in his life. I don't know about the "loss of innocence" thing; I think our public fit that category. My younger son actually seems to have regained much of his former "idealistic innocence", if you will. Our public school system was giving him a hard edge.

crickett2324

Thanks for the input everyone.
lbftw- Well, I think that as a child, we should always have a sense of childhood and "carefree-ness". When getting into the aspects of boarding school, its as if you are living on your own and leaving behind the cherished years of your life. Even in high school, I feel like I owe myself a stellar childhood. I don't want my dog to act as if I am a stranger or for my 1 yr old sister to think I'm the next door neighbor. Although B.S. is veryy appealing, I'm not so sure that I'm ready to fully let go of the "traditional" experience.

It's all up to debate though, I can still change my mind and switch my views whenever I have a brain blast, but still.

Keylyme- How was his public school giving him a hard edge? I'd expect the opposite. I'd imagine B.S. would really toughen people up.


And B.S. is often stereotyped into places where rich people send their kids when they dont want to deal with them. I think that my parents think that I'm pushing them away and they're beginning to feel as if they weren't adequate enough for me. Its heart-wrenching and blood curdling.

lbftw

those are fair concerns. there is a certain emphasis placed amongst a lot of boarding school students on trying to act very mature and adult (although obviously they aren't). some people like that, others don't.

Burb Parent

I joke to my friends and say that I either did something terrible or something great because my son loves it at boarding school.

I have several friends and acquaintances with children at boarding school. I am not aware of any of them being sent away because their parents didn't want them at home. I have a number of friends and acquaintances who went to boarding school. Only 2 felt that they were sent away. And both of them sent their children to boarding school -- not to send them away, but because they thought it was a great experience. Anyway, I hope you sort things out one way or another. You have months & months ahead of you before you go.

Linda S

The other thing Cricket is that if I remember correctly at least one or two of your schools are not THAT far from home right? We plan to see my son between breaks as well - he will most likely be within an hour and a half from home and we thought if he wants to can come home after sports on Saturday once in a while.

I also don't remember what prompted your interested in boarding school, but it might be helpful for you to go back to those thoughts. And also talk with your parents - I think you will all feel better.

In the meantime, try not to "spontaneously combust" and to actually enjoy the winter. When the fat packages come in March, THEN worry about it.

JB1

Of course there are tradeoffs, welcome to life. You have to look at the reasons for going to boarding school. Crickett, you will be giving up living at home through your high school years. That will be a loss, but as keylime pointed out, it doesn't mean you lose your wonderful relationship with your parents. You must be going to boarding school for a reason. You have to weigh all of the factors and decide what is right for you. The important part is that it is your decision. If you go to boarding school you can always come back.

ajadedidealist, to think of your high school years as your childhood is naive. During those four years you are given the responsibility of driving a car, perhaps go abroad for a semester, or a million other things that broaden you as a person. In other words you are asked to be mature and grow up. That is one of the benefits of going to boarding school. Even lbftw counted the ability to mature as a positive boarding school experience. ("you become more disciplined and self-reliant")

For our family having our daughter attending boarding school is all about opportunity. Our schools are average and we live in a rural area. My wife and I love living here. My D on the other hand came to us so she can explore opportunities not available to her, so we are letting her give it a shot. My child is leaving the house four years earlier that I expected, I am devastated by that. But I also am really excited about the opportunities that will open up for her. It's all about tradeoffs.