shelley14

My dughter is the one who asked me if she could go to boarding school. The summer before 7th grade she went to a 4 week sailing camp where the kids stayed in the dorm at a boarding school. Turned out that she HATED the program! But she loved dorm life. She researched it for many months and was determined to go. For her it has really worked out well.

Linda S

Kate,
Maybe start a new topic and tell us more about yourself and specifc questions you have. That way it won't get "lost" in another topic like this one.
Linda

Kate13

Oh, I have
Boarding Schools

ajadedidealist

hm - I've got to say, I see where lbftw is coming from here - I don't see the trolling. As a soon-to-be graduate of a school similar, presumably, to lbftw's, I've found my experience and level of happiness there to be equally...not so good. Sure, I'll be coming out with some "tokens" of success - I'm going to First Choice X College, I've got xx.xx GPA and xxxx scores and in x many clubs and what have you - but in retrospect, I'm not sure I would have traded the last years of my childhood, my happiness, and - in some sense - my idealistic innocence so soon. It really can be a miserable place; I'd say 30% of people at my school love it, 30% absolutely hate it, and 40% have a destructive love-hate relationship with it that might be even more unhealthy than the first two options. (Most of the seniors I've seen graduate find it really, really difficult to function outside of the bubble.) I may not agree with the extremity expressed by lbftw, but I don't think his experience at boarding school makes him uncannily "immature" or lacking in self-awareness.

ETA: I'm also concerned by the assumption I've seen that success at boarding school and enjoying boarding school go hand in hand: ie, that "of course boarding school isn't for everybody, but it is for those kids who are EXTRA special/self-motivated/hardworking/smart, etc..." That sort of attitude propagates the idea that boarding school is something that you have to be "good enough" to want to do, as well as get into, and fosters a competitive sense of wanting to be "good enough" for happiness. But, truth is, no matter how smart/driven/mature you are, boarding school MAY (not IS) not be right for you - you can maintain an A-average at Exeter, be head of tons of clubs, have friends and still hate it.

NeLLyRaE

great point adja-whatever (not even going to try to spell your name) what school do you go to?

ajadedidealist

Exeter! ;-). In whose Science Building I am currently typing this post.

Edit: It's easier if you think of it as three seperate words: A Jaded Idealist.

jkjkjkj

I agree with the OP simply because I know a girl who went to boarding school and hated the pressure, loss of friends from home, and competition. This may not happen to everyone, but it happens to some, the girl I saw backs up the OPs point exactly.

jennycraig

Ajadedidealist, I am sorry you have had a less than 100% positive experience at Exeter. In reading your prior posts, I think you made the mistake of not listening to your heart when you toured the schools. There were other schools that made your heart sing, but for whatever reason, you decided to attend Exeter.

I think "fit" is everything--not only for boarding schools, but for colleges, jobs, marriages, etc... You are right, "you can maintain an A-average at Exeter, be head of tons of clubs, have friends and still hate it". If your soul is not at peace, you won't ever feel like you are in the right place.

Hopefully Oxford will be the place where you truly feel happy . Congratulations!

h-o-p-e-f-u-l

I think as far as boarding school goes; everyone is going to have a different experience, mostly depending on the type of person they are, whether it was their decision to attend, and the school itself. Unfortunately I have heard of some schools with generally unhappy student bodies. I won't go as far as to name any in particular but I've heard things from people I know at other schools like, "Don't go to my school, EVERYONE hates it here!!"On the contrary, there re MANY people who go to boarding school an fall in love.
My suggestion is that if things are going well at your current school then don’t apply unless your 100% devoted to the idea of boarding school.
I found a lot of things lbftw said to be true, for sure more at some schools than others. My experience at my current school is that the usual boarding school downs (competition, snobby people, pressure ,etc.) are subdued so that most people who go here love it.(I would guess 75%). still, boarding school is definitely not for everyone.

lbftw

thanks for backing me up. i think if you got more recent graduates on here they'd agree with me also.

it's true that some people love boarding school (honestly, these were usually the really rich preppy types ime), but it really is a certain type of person. i warn you not to get sucked into the trap of "it's just like college", because it isn't like college at all. more like the military except you don't have to fight any wars (obviously).

JB1

lbftw,

What did you like about boarding school?

lbftw

it was a lot of fun at times. being in such close proximity with a bunch of guys (or girls) roughly your age can definetely be cool in some respects (no gay jokes). of course, it can also be really irritating at times.

the quality of the education is probably better than what you might otherwise get (depending greatly on where you live though). more than that, however, the competition is very fierce and it forces you to raise your game, so to speak. this will give you something of an advantage in college (although how much depends on where you go, and the rest catch up pretty quickly).

if you're not from the northeast (like me), or you're from a not-so-affluent area, you do learn something about a type of person/culture that you wouldn't otherwise be exposed to, and it forces you to adapt somewhat. this may actually be the biggest advantage, actually. i see a lot of people at my college now who've lived fairly homogenous lives (grew up in same town, knew all friends since kindergarten, chose the college that would most closely replcate their high school experience etc.) and i kinda wonder what they're going to do when they're forced out of their comfort zone. seems like a lot don't really do much of anything because they're scared or intimidated to go somewhere different than what they're used to.

you become more disciplined and self-reliant. a lot of the stuff i see people doing now i got out of my system long ago.

those are the main ones i'd say.

JB1

I'm glad you were able to take something positive from your bording school experience.

lbftw

i said there were some good aspects. if i remeber just those parts of it, then yeah it doesn't seem so bad. but there was a lot of negative stuff as well, which way overshadows whatever positives there are.

keylyme

Wow, I'm glad that neither of my sons had/are having the negative experience that lbftw describe or the "love/hate" relationship that ajaded... describes. I do hope that if my current son every feels this way, he will let me know. My older son assures me he absolutely loved his experience and five years later still visits his alma mater whenever he is in the area. He plans on sending his own children their one day as well (if that is what they desire).