KitKatBar

I was speaking with my sister, who is a junior at boarding school. She said that alot of her friends, who are currently freshmen at college, say they feel the other freshmen kids are so immature, compared to them (the ones who came from boarding schools.) Especially at the beginning of the year, when the freshmen were getting drunk, doing really stupid stuff, or just being so excited to be "on their own." My sister said her friends were a little disillusioned with their fellow students, and seemed to congregate with other boarding school students, and excluded many of the immature freshmen. She said it is a little better now, as some of the newness of living on their own has worn off, plus the reality of grades has appeared, so some of the immature freshmen have grown up.

Is this a typical phenomenon? Does anyone else have first hand or anecdotal information about this? Have the boarding school kids matured faster? Or is this just a stereotype?

dntw8up

It's typical but in my opinion, it's not so much a matter of maturing faster as learning how to be responsible for one's freedom without parental oversight. I think balancing competing desires (to have fun, to earn good grades, to appear confident, etc.) is more of a skill than a matter of maturity, and students and their parents tend to underestimate the role parental oversight plays in students' high-school success. When parents are out of the day-to-day picture, peer influence tends to bloat to fill the gap. Boarders have an opportunity to learn certain time management/use skills that most college students don't learn until they are likewise separated from their parents.

keylyme

My son really did love his time at bs, but when college came, he was anxious to be out of a dorm and in his own apartment. He lived on campus his freshman year and that was it. He is an excellent cook, and although the food at his bs was excellent, he wanted homemade meals. He still calls me for recipes!

ahhhcollege

I'm currently a senior at a boarding school, and I definately feel the pain of boarding school when looking at college options - I DO NOT want to opt for the typical college experience. I'm done with living in a dorm, eating school food...

As far as drinking, it's so strict at boarding school that I feel like I'll go crazy... Just not to the same extent that other kids may.

Keylyme - That sums it up very nicely

cecils15

i am a senior at a boarding school.

i love my school and all, and i will miss it a ton, but i can not wait until college. i am sick of all the stupid rules!

but yeah, i think feeling more mature than your peers is pretty common, i hear it alot too. i don't think of it as ruining your college experience though, i see it as a pro. i won't do stupid freshman stuff.

KitKatBar

Yeah, I bet the one thing that doesn't happen with boarding school students when they go away to college: the Freshman 15!

keylyme

As far as maturity....well, I don't know if I would call it that, exactly, but my son was definitly more equipped to manage his own life and live in an apartment than my non-bs daughter would be (she is currently a college freshman and the difference is blatant. She has made so many mistakes and is pretty overwhelmed just trying to manage schoolwork and her sport).

mercruz

While I am sure that KitKatBar's sister's friends are very close to her, it is evident to me that she could very well have much broader social life if she "did as the Romans do." Now I am not advocating binge drinking or other inappropriate behavior, but that is part of what the college experience is about. On a secondary note, stereotypes have the effect of being just that-biased and unfounded assumptions.

SeniorSlacker

Obviously the "college experience" is whatever you want it to be. So if you're dream was to live in the dorms with other people your age then the answer would probably be yes. On the other hand, if your goal was to meet people other students who may or may not have gone to boarding school and grow intellectually and personally, then perhaps not.

Also, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I'm definitely getting a slightly snooty, "thank god I didn't go to PUBLIC school vibe" from this thread, but I'm sure that's not what people are going for.

KitKatBar

No, that isn't what my sister was saying at all (about the thank God I didn't go to public school sentiment). She is thinking alot about college right now and is talking to her friends who are at college. Her friends are enjoying college, but all of them did bring up the fact that some of the freshmen girls seemed really immature, especially first semester. I do think after you have been living "on your own" for 4 years, albeit with many rules and regulations, you are more equipped to "manage your own life" as keylyme suggests. I know my sister seems more responsible to me, compared to other juniors at my high school. She just seems to manage her time pretty well, and her success is one of the reasons why I also would like to attend boarding school. (If she can do it, so can I )

lbftw

i feel like that some times, but it's a pretty elitist view imo and really turns people off. i don't really think it's all that true either; there are plenty of boarding school kids who come in, have no idea how to control themselves and end up ****ing up royally. conversely, there are many kids from average or below-average high schools who are highly motivated and hit the ground running. i've written this before, but i do think boarding school gives you an advantage in college...for about 1 semester. people catch up. and as much **** as your typical boarding school kid talks about how easy college is, they're usually not at the top of the class after awhile.

there's only about 1 other kid where i go that went to boarding school, so surrounding myself with that type isn't an option, not that i'd even want to. and a word of advice: if you should find yourself outside that super-prestigious, super-expensive group of colleges at which rich kids (from boarding or day schools) congregate, do yourself a biiiiiig favor and chill out with the ultra-cynical, everything/everybody sucks, like omigod you're soo immature attitude. you're not gonna impress anybody.

KitKatBar

so Ibftw, if there is only one other kid from boarding school at your college, how can you say You know, one major reason why I think people discount your posts is cuz you end up making these grandiose generalizations.

I don't think anyone was taking an elitist attitude here. Not really sure what you were trying to say in your last sentence...seems like a contradiction.

lbftw

it's pretty simple really; see, i've kept up with the happenings of a lot of my former bs classmates, and that was my observation. i also have a couple non-bs friends who go to colleges with a lot of prep school kids, and they confirm it.

and it's a very elitist attitude, acting as though you're too mature and sophisticated for the rest of the kids wherever you go to college (especially ironic because not only are they the same age as you, but most of them have had jobs that pay before, unlike a lot of prep schoolers). your sister's friends need to get over themselves and act their age. when in rome.

icy9ff8

Boarding school experience does not ruin one's college experience, but it does make it different--especially in the first year. Less thrill of living on your own, more accustomed to managing personal affairs such as laundry and checking accounts, more tolerance for a variety of living styles, more disciplined to resist temptations in favor of school obligations. The difficulty that I have noticed, as most Ivies have as well, is the need during the first year of college to challenge students from the most academically intense and demanding boarding schools. As one boarding school professor & dept. chair said to me, it is hard to appreciate what these kids go through academically. I am most familiar with boarding school students from Andover, Exeter, Groton, Hotchkiss, St. Paul's, Roxbury Latin, Milton Choate Rosemary Hall, Lawrenceville, St. Andrew's and similiarly demanding schools. Many of these students compensate by quickly getting involved with on campus activities such as student government, music, singing, theatre & writing for campus publications. Rigorous academics and a demanding & challenging environment is almost a necessity for these kids as they have been living it for the past three or four years. I am constantly and repeatedly astonished at the depth, maturity & skill evidenced in their writings. And these are not all 1400/1600 SAT I scorers. Many of these students score in the 1300s out of 1600, but eat up the first year at top 20 colleges & universities without fear or hesitation. Things do, however, even out after the first year or two of college.

brillar

I can see what you mean- it has nothing to do with you seeing boarding schools as 'better,' like lbftw says. Boarding school students have had the experience of living on their 'own' before, so it makes sense that college would be less of a shock to them. Maybe not more mature, but definitely less prone to make some of the mistakes that go hand in hand with no longer having mom and dad around.