SevenDad

@GMTplus7: For our family, I would say that yes...all the work of the past year — as well as the ache of not having my firstborn around 24/7 four years before the usual college window — has all been worth it. While I'm sure SevenDaughter would have been fine staying at home and going to the high school of her middle school, I think she's probably happier and made friends more quickly in the residential setting.

We were just down at SAS for Parents Weekend and SevenDaughter seemed to be very engaged, happy, and challenged. The transition for kids who have never boarded before is not always easy, but my sense (and advisor/teacher reports confirm this) is that she's in the right place and doing well academically as well as socially. We chose SAS partly because we felt it would be a more forgiving/welcoming environment for a kid who is quirky and sometimes downright nerdy. And that gut impression of "fit" appears to be materializing.

I can't overstate how much I think the relatively small size of SAS contributes to our level of comfort with the 'in loco parentis" nature of boarding school.

We many cold (literally) months ahead of us, but so far, so good. That's not to say that SAS or even BS would be right for every family or child...

helloel

I have a few questions about the admissions process. Did all the schools your daughter applied to use the same common recommendation and school report forms? I really don't want to have to ask my teachers and head of school to fill out multiple forms.

SevenDad

@helloel: St. Paul's (Gateway portal) and Choate (GoChoate site) have dedicated applications. St. Andrew's says they accept common apps/forms, but my daughter used the dedicated forms and prompts. For the SAS app, she did include a supplemental recco form (a relatively unbranded form we found on the Hotchkiss - IIRC - site) to allow inclusion of a non-Math/English teacher recco...I think both SPS and Choate provided their own optional form for this use.

So, in our case, she did ask teachers to fill out separate forms for all three schools. Note that the forms are very similar, so there should be some efficiencies after a teacher completes the first form.

Maybe not the answer you were looking for, but there it is. In our case, with just 3 schools to apply to, it wasn't an overwhelming (for teachers, head of school, or our family) amount of paperwork. So you can either keep your list focused or choose schools that accept one of the common apps.

Best of luck. Would not be a bad time to tell your teachers and head of school that you will be giving them recommendation forms soon...

hockeylaxer0830

great job mister, with being on top of everything during your daughters application process, but like most people would say, you did most of her work
i know she was still in middle school, but that doesn't matter. i come from an immigrant family. my dads too busy with work, and my moms that that hot with english... so i had to do the whole application process last year from top to bottom, with me scheduling the interviews, me setting up the test dates, and just me doing everything
i mean u fulfilled your duty as a father way back in the application process, introducing the idea of boarding school, because thats what my mom did. your daughter shouldve taken it from there
i currently attend deerfield academy

ExieMITAlum

@hockeylaxer - you're new here and that was kind of unfair. @SevenDad has been one of the most level-headed people on CC.

I'm usually the person who admonishes parents to step back and let their children have more control - but I only do that when I sense the parents are over-reaching, or when I get the impression that boarding school is their "dream" and not the students. Every family is different and so the level of involvement needed is different.

Sorry that you had to get stuck doing all the work, but frankly, I did when I was that age, and my D initiated both the conversation about attending BS and all the work, scheduling associated with the process. It's a good growth process and will serve you well in the future. However, SevenDad is certainly not a polar opposite. He's been pretty honest on these boards about the approach and strategies his family took. I found his approach balanced and with plenty of room for his daughter to steer the ship.

Not fitting of a Deerfield student to throw criticisms at an adult just because it contrasts with your having done all the work yourself. Why not just be proud of your accomplishments and concede that SevenDad and SevenDaughter seem to be happy and thriving as well?

Deerfield2015

As per hockeylaxer's previous posts, he was waitlisted at Deerfield and NMH for 10th grade last year. So I don't think he is a Deerfield student. He also posted that he is going to reapply this year for 11th grade. Applying for 10th grade last year, obviously he is more mature to drive his own process.

SevenDad

Bumping for 2013 applicants...

Atyraulove

Thank you for this! I was searching for interview advice and stumbled on this thread. We live in the Midwest and will be on a family vacation in NE this summer, but I think we will plan interviews for the fall when the focus will be on school apps and not a distraction from vacation.

SevenDad

@Atyraulove: If you do have time on your NE vacation this summer, I'd still visit the schools on your current short list. That way you can plan your Fall trip with a little more "recon" data (perhaps location will help you cross some off or a stunning campus might push another school higher up the list). Of course, only if you have the time and doing so will not cut into true vacation time too much. Best of luck!

ruiruiMom

Dear all,

I had never thought about sending my kids to private school if my friend didn't talk about with me last year.
My son is in a very good public school with high competation, he has no desire to go to private school because he knows it is hard for our family, plus my husband never think about it. My son took a SSAT test with my suggestion, turned out he got the good scores today:
Verbal Score 734
(Personal Score Range: 713 - 755, SSAT Percentile 86%)

Math Score 800
(Personal Score Range: 779 - 800, SSAT Percentile 99%)

Reading Score 761
(Personal Score Range: 740 - 782, SSAT Percentile 99%)

Total Score 2295
(Personal Score Range: NA, SSAT Percentile 98%)

not sure if he can be accepted by Andsor and L'ville, the thing is both my son and husband are not enthusiastic, I know my son has no idea because of his age, my husband is worry about money, at this stage, should I push them?
From what kind of point of views?
Appreciate your feed back. thanks a lot.

SevenDad

@ruiruiMom: I don't think anyone can really answer that question for you. I will say that I think it is optimal if all parties (both parents as well as the child) share at least similar POVs.

If you have acceptable local/day school options and it's going to be a "hard sell" to your spouse and child, my advice would be to spare yourselves adding the complications (pick up/drop off/travel & break schedules) and expense of BS to your lives.

While we have been very pleased with our family's experience with BS so far, I do know that A) it's not for everyone; and B) there are trade offs.

redbluegoldgreen

Keep in mind high SSAT scores are a given for all the competitive schools. It is not a ticket in. As someone wiser told me, "it opens the door, but it doesn't get you thru it."

This weekend at a graduation party, I was talking to a mom whose kid had similar stats as those cited above on SSAT. Her Asian daughter (I only mention this because Asians are competing with Asians for their 15 - 17% of the class, and Asian girls are the demographic which have to have the best credentials for both prep schools and colleges) ended up on 10 WL's. She was shocked, because based on her GPA, scores and interests, she thought she was a shoe in.

Lessons learned: Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. From our 3 year experience with CHADES BS apps, IMHO, you should put more stock in highlighting hooks, geographic diversity and legacy.

ops

I was about start a whole new thread with ruiruMom's query. I agree whole heartily with 7D & rbgg, especially in respect to having both parents and student really wanting to take the plunge in the BS journey. I'll admit, I'm all pomp and cheer for BS but if my rising 8th grader doesn't have the strong desire to go, then she doesn't go. She has to want it and her Mom has to be all for it too. Maybe we'll wait a year. I'll admit I'm guilty of double standard but I don't need to coax her as she is fully aware of the opportunity with having two brothers already go to BS. She has to want it, then earn it.

ExieMITAlum

It is becoming easier to discern whether a child wants to go to a specific boarding school or college - or whether the student has been pushed to apply by a counselor or parent.

If your student is not keen on the idea, go on a campus tour and talk to an Adcom and student guide. If your son still doesn't want to go - then I'd move on.

stagemum

ruiruimom - I would not have pushed for my firstborn to consider boarding schools had he been thriving socially and academically in our local private school. I differ from many of the parents on this site for that reason; their kids were superachievers, mine was an underachiever whom I believed would not grow unless transplanted. A highly-motivated, disciplined student will excel almost anywhere.My younger son was a much better student, but he decided that he also wanted to go away, having seen how his brother benefited from it. I couldn't say "no" to him after nudging his brother so strongly. If your son is thriving where he is, and your financial resources are finite, I'd say don't fix what isn't broken. At most, see if you could persuade your husband and son to incorporate some school visits into a family road trip. If they like what they see, it might turn them around. My older son's reluctance faded when he saw how different the environments were at some private schools than at his public school. Paradoxically, most boarding schools were much more diverse than our own suburban school system.