Sitekey

First, let me say first that I have been a faithful follower of CC since our family started investigating different boarding schools 1 1/2 years ago, and now that we are an ‘official’ boarding school family, we have decided to join CC. I have always appreciated and welcomed the insight from the frequent posters that comes, no doubt, from spending countless hours on CC and investigating various schools whether you have a child attending or not.

The original poster’s question about advocacy made me think about how we disseminated CC information and viewed its posters. While we sifted through much pertinent information, not once did we ever consider posters advice or opinions the final word as we made our decisions for our son. I hope to become a advocate for my son’s school. We think it is a great school and a good fit for him but not for everybody. We spent a lot of time researching and traveling back and forth to ensure that we were making the right decision based on the needs of our son. But it was our decision, and we definitely took advantage of some of the excellent recommendations on CC. Again, CC advice and thoughts were disseminated and investigated before it became usable for us.

While well-meaning, I think that sometimes the advocate posters are sometimes a bit too opinionated about potential BS family situations simply based on tidbits and snippets of information with absolutely no clue what else lies between those lines or what’s in the family background. I have read responses that are condescending, and I have read frequent posters admonish families because their reasoning for wanting BS didn’t quite stack up to the general consensus of why boarding school. I have read advocates argue with children(!) who may be pompous but require direction. I could go on with other examples but I think the point is made.

Let me say that I think many of the frequent poster advocates do a wonderful job and provide an incredible, unpaid service out of their dedication to the boarding school way of life. There is nothing wrong with strong advocacy but not at the expense of offering sometimes unsolicited advice that comes off as pretentious based on basic information in a written line or two as parents seek schools and advice for their child. You are sought out not only because of your ‘expertise’ but also because the valuable information that is provided saves a lot of time and provides a path to follow. I speak from experience. But I think a line is crossed when you seek to tell families how they should conduct their affairs no matter how well-meaning. It’s a very fine line.

People like me scoured CC looking for pertinent information that assisted in my research. We join CC because we want to be part of the community and lend an advocate voice for our schools. But readers who seek out advice want to be respected and for you to know that while you might not agree with decisions about choices, finances, schools, etc., they are still the parents and the biggest advocates.

Again, thank you for all the wonderful work you do.

SevenDad

Great advice Sitekey...thanks for chiming in.

HarvestMoon1

Sitekey, very well said. We also found CC to be an extremely valuable tool during our search process. But when making decisions relating to our own child, we always relied on our own instincts and research. I think most parents value this forum but understand that what works for one family might not work for another.

I have also been a long time follower, but until recently never posted (have a child well into his/her boarding school career). I especially agree with your comment about admonishing those whose "reasons for wanting BS didn't quite stack up to the general consensus". My reluctance to post was precisely because my views usually differed so dramatically from those of the usual posters.



My child's BS experience has turned out really well, and recently I have ventured onto this Board and the College Forum.

2kidsnoanswers

Reviving a valuable thread. For us, the opinions on CC have been priceless, whether we agree on specific assessments or not. We know very well that it is caveat emptor, YMMV, each kid is different, families have different priorities and values, etc etc. However, the initial suggestion on CC to look into a certain BS led to our son in fact now attending, and hearing the experiences and heartfelt opinions of those on this board is why my son is thriving where he is today.

We were very fortunate that he was already at a superb JBS with an excellent placement office. Yet those on CC turned out to be even more helpful in suggesting viable schools for the next step, because our particular requirements were somewhat different from those of many parents at the JBS. For example, most of the JBS parents preferred a BS within a 2 hour drive of the parents' home, whereas that was irrelevant for us. After hearing from the placement officer on his recommendations, based on schools he knew best after years of working with these parents, I put a couple of schools on the list suggested by those here on CC. Our son chose which school he wanted to attend in the end, but it wouldn't even have been on the radar if CC hadn't existed.

What helped most, in our case, was knowing our child and what our priorities and values were, and then listening carefully to how CC posters described their schools. When many kept using the words we were looking for in describing a school, it certainly was worth my time to look into it. What I found after all the visiting, independent verification, etc was that the chosen school really did match the descriptions on CC. It has been a pleasant surprise to me that people of all sorts of backgrounds and circumstances can post and come to a consensus which I have found to be spot-on accurate. If the decision turned out to be the wrong one, of course, it would have been because we ourselves had been remiss in evaluating the match of school to student based on our own observations. CC is just a starting point, but an invaluable one.