calhockeymom

So envious. Sounds like a wonderful weekend. My son's school has a parents' DAY (not weekend) and it is too far away for us to go. I was thinking of emailing his teachers since we won't be able to meet them. I would like to feel some contact with his academic life.

2prepMom

Family weekend is very reassuring for parents - our daughter, who was a new 9th grader last year was very proud to show us her momentarily orderly room, her daily activities, meet her friendly advisor who knew her really well, and take her SHOPPING and out to eat.

For those kids who don't have families there (and we could not make it to other childs weekend the first year), a very nice family adopted her for the weekend - took her out to a movie and dinner. She enjoyed being with her friend, meeting their family, and did not feel alone. So if you are visiting, offer to include your child's friends who may not be able to have families present in your plans. It is fun to meet the friends.

Last Easter weekend I visited and took 7 of her friends out to dinner and it was a very good time. I explained that I was just doing what their parents would have done had they been there.

wcmom1958

As of next week, I will have attended two out of six parent weekends at my kids' schools. They are a lot of fun and very helpful, but we haven't felt the need to go to all of older child's weekends after the first one. We have taken turns going to younger child's. Like most long weekends, if we're not there the kids find things to do. This year, D will spend her parent's weekend mostly alone in her dorm (with supervision) working on college apps. She can't wait

So I recommend going when you can, and not sweating it when you can't. It's hard to remember when you're new, but this is a long term commitment and you can adjust as you go.

Vunicorn

My daughter has been stuggling with social life the last couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to family weekend in just 3 days. I can love-her-up and hopefully that will last her until she comes home for the Holidays. She's very eager to find a "best-friend" or close group of friends.

creative1

Vunicorn - make sure your daughter knows that a lot of these "friendships" formed in the first few weeks and months aren't always the ones that last. Often times, they are formed due to proximity in the dorm, that season's sport, etc. as students are quick to find someone to hang with. Encourage her to join many interests and meet a lot of different folks. As she progresses through boarding school, she'll find she's better served having friends outside the dorm as well in and across campus. Just my 2 cents based on past experience.

Enjoy the time with your daughter and get all those hugs in!

Vunicorn

"Vunicorn - make sure your daughter knows that a lot of these "friendships" formed in the first few weeks and months aren't always the ones that last. Often times, they are formed due to proximity in the dorm, that season's sport, etc. as students are quick to find someone to hang with. Encourage her to join many interests and meet a lot of different folks. As she progresses through boarding school, she'll find she's better served having friends outside the dorm as well in and across campus. Just my 2 cents based on past experience.

Enjoy the time with your daughter and get all those hugs in!"

I will do that. We are all adjusting and learning as we go. Funny how excited I was when she finally called home and now when she's calling too frequently it becomes a cause for concern. Hugs AND kisses!~Thanks.

friendlymom

Vunicorn, as I'm sure you know it can take a while to find your long-term social niche in any new situation, especially one that's as charged as boarding school. It's very much luck of the draw and hugely dependent on ending up with compatible kids somewhere in the combination of your dorm, classes, teams, etc. I say this from experience as I really didn't get comfortable socially until some time in my second year. While it might seem like everyone else has great friends there are really many people struggling the same way as your daughter!

confetti247

Anyone else go through grade troubles? This is my first year as BS parent and they warned me that D15 wouldn't get straight As there -- she didn't here either, being somewhat of an over-scheduled free spirit -- so I thought I was prepared. However, she has only one A in band and two grades that are currently Cs. I want to give her time to adjust, and I know her academic counselor and RC are aware of the situation, but I've started to worry that she's hurting her future chances for a good college, etc., etc. She's well-scheduled this year, but nowhere near as much as last year, and is cutting back... When I ask her about it, she says, "I've got this." (need the smilie for 'blank stare')

Anyone know when I should freak out?

VelveteenR

First, never freak out. Second, understand that this is only mid-term of first semester and your daughter is adjusting to many new things, not just academics. First year mid-term grades are not affecting her future chances for a good college. This is a time to discuss how she feels about her adjustment to boarding school in general and how she feels about classes. Does she feel she’s struggling? Were her grades a total surprise to her? You say the adults in her life are aware of what’s going on. What kind of support are they giving her? Is she seeking extra help? Definitely DO talk to her advisor about the plan that your daughter and her teachers have in place to help her be successful, but be prepared to adjust your definition of success.

I posted on another thread that our child is struggling in a couple of classes for the first time during second year; first year was smooth. The bar continues to rise. Our objective with boarding school is an outstanding education, not outstanding grades. We feel we’re getting our money’s worth. Watching our child figure this out is painful, but this is exactly the stretch kid would not be getting at home.

Let your child work this out with the very experienced adults around her, and let the school do what it does so well. This is not the first time they’ve see a good student get a C, even if it’s a first for her or you. Be aware, be supportive, keep the lines of communication open with her advisors and teachers, but don’t panic. Your daughter is getting a great education and that’s priceless.

confetti247

Thanks Velveteen. I don't think I'm actually on the verge of freaking out, but I don't want to look back and say "why didn't I see xxxxx coming?" - and it's harder without her here. Thanks for the suggested questions and the reminder that it's about a good education, not stats. I had started to forget that she loves it there.

VelveteenR

^^^That she loves it despite what might seem a setback indicates she's not a quitter. That's huge. She's going to be OK. Really.

friendlymom

So here I sit wondering how my California girl will weather her first experience with New England's "wintry mix." She was "saving" her winter jacket for actual snow so hopefully in her mind this will qualify and she'll break out the warm stuff.

In general I see her seeming a little frayed about the edges right now when we Skype. She's working hard and can use a break from living in small room with another person (thankfully one she likes very much). Luckily Thanksgiving is fast approaching. I can see that lots of sleep time is going to be needed.

girlgeekmom

Friendlymom, I think "frayed about the edges" is a good description. Our freshman daughter had her first at-school cold/virus (and laryngitis, which for our chatty girl has got to be tough) this past week. During our Sunday-night phone catch-up she told me she was feeling "a little homesick for the first time since she'd arrived at school." Since TG IS so close (and actually since I'll see her this weekend for a family event), I think the "impending proximity" if you will, is what's causing her to think of home—and being under the weather makes it easy to feel pangs of homesickness.

That said, I am REALLY looking forward to the long TG break.

creative1

I will warn others that winter term can bring some cabin fever type issues - something about the cold weather and being more confined indoors can lead to some cattiness sometimes. I've noticed it more in girls' dorms than boys'. Encourage your kids to get out - go sledding, skating, take a hike in the woods, visit friends in another dorm (maybe a Saturday night sleepover?), walk to town for some hot chocolate... As long as they bundle up, the cold, fresh air is really good for them.

And, yes, lots of sleep on break. My kids could average 13-15 hours in their first 24 hours home.