mmz

...without sounding like you're bragging?

JoeTrumpet

I think people just need to accept the fact that some people are fortunate enough to attend a school like Princeton. If someone asks me what school I'm going to or I'm friendly enough with them that I would actually tell them where I'm going, I let them know (and mention how excited I am, usually), and it really should be no different than if I told them I were going to a community college. Of course they will be more excited or amazed by it, but if there are any sort of negative feelings, that person really needs to learn how to let go of envy. Just as I was very excited for my friends who went to Carnegie Mellon, Notre Dame, and various state universities last year, I expect people to react positively (or at the worst, neutrally, though nobody has been anything less than ecstatic for me) to my going to Princeton. Going to college is an exciting, positive moment, regardless of where you go.

Of course, it's probably in bad taste to bring it up to someone that you don't know unless the topic arises, or to mention it in a sort of, "Well, I'm going to Princeton" sort of fashion. It should sound like you feel excited or very pleased, not privileged.

On a related note, I've heard of a few people (though I've never personally witnessed this) who have been criticized for wearing shirts of schools like Princeton after they get accepted. I think that's entirely unfair, and it should be just as acceptable for me to wear a Princeton shirt as it is for my friends to wear shirts of their state universities. Nobody I've met actually cares about that, though.

SpacedOutSax

mmz, this is about the third different school I have seen you ask about. Are you trying to decide which would make you look like a "somebody"? I truely cannot believe this.

mmz

SpacedOutSax -- No, not at all. Just trying to see how different people share the news about going to an Ivy.

StitchInTime

ceebee63

StitchInTime, you are absolutely right. It is shockingly rude when people try to work it into the conversation that they went/are going/go to Princeton. Or, when people are falsely modest. I know SO many Harvard students who, when asked where they go, say "a school outside of Boston." DUH, the follow up question will be, "which one?" Those people just want to appear modest. They're not. If asked where you'll be going, just SAY IT (don't say "a college in New Jersey," please).

dumplingpanda

It depends what kind of environment you're in. Almost everyone I know got into an Ivy League or Stanford or MIT (you get the idea) so no one really considers it bragging if you say you got into Princeton.

I've noticed that the people who bother to ask (most don't, since we all know we're at the same level) are those who want to look down on you if you're from a "lower" school (e.g. he's in Harvard but you're in Dartmouth). I really think the best thing to do is wait until someone asks you. ^_^

1of42

People like you are part of the problem. The issue is, of people that are shallow and touchy enough to get annoyed over the way someone responds to the question, there is a split into 2 groups:

The people who think the people who answer "<Prestigious Ivy League Here>" are arrogant.

AND

The people who think that it is false modesty when Ivy league attendees try to step around the question.

What, exactly, do you want us to do? Somebody's going to get ****ed either way. Personally, if I'm asked which college I'm going to I'll answer Princeton, but if asked where I go to college I'll answer New Jersey. Normally that's good enough for most people. If asked further, I'll answer honestly.

If people find my responses arrogant or falsely modest, they can go screw themselves. I answer as diplomatically as I can, and other than that I really don't care what people think.

piccolojunior

^great post. I don't want to fall into a catch-22 just because a few oversensitive people get offended.

ceebee63

I'm not oversensitive.... just clearly anyone who answers New Jersey or Boston or where ever is evading the question, meaning that they think other people will care if they just say Princeton or Harvard. JUST SAY WHERE YOU GO. It's no big deal. By not saying you are making it a big deal.

ceebee63

"What, exactly, do you want us to do? Somebody's going to get ****ed either way." 1of42

Just say where you go and stop worrying about the "oversensitive" people. Don't make it a big deal by worrying about people who aren't your problem.

ceebee63

Also, I am shocked to have been personally attacked, called "part of the problem" and "shallow and touchy." I don't think I have ever purposely been rude or combative while on CC...I really am surprised to see a Princetonian act like this. I think JoeTrumpet and StitchInTime had great posts, and I completely agree with them. I really don't find anything ridiculous or problematic in what I said or what they said. Sure, not ALL people who evade the question "where do you go" are being falsely modest, and I certainly wasn't trying to attack people who do say that with genuine modesty...but I really don't find that to be any cause for being told to screw myself.

ivanadoeslimbo

I think it just depends on how you interpret the question, "Where are you going to school next year?"

"Where" can be interpreted as the location of the school you are going to
AND
"where" can be interpreted as 'which' school you are going to

It's not necessarily evading the question if you answer "New Jersey"

However, I think it is best to just answer "Princeton, in New Jersey" since it answers both interpretations of 'where'

Answering questions about college has been problematic for me.

Somebody I know called me pretentious yesterday because I said I liked reading books. Their exact words were, "You think because you're going to Princeton that you're better than everybody and that normal hobbies aren't good enough for you?"

They were serious. I've enjoyed reading books since I learned to read, and it angered me that they would try to spin something good that's happened to me (getting into Princeton) into something bad.

gbesq

I honestly don't see anything wrong with answering "I'm going to Princeton." If someone asks you a question, you answer it honestly. The fact that you're attending an Ivy doesn't make answering the question bragging any more than it would be bragging if your honest answer was "I'm going to [insert school here]." You need not be condescending or smug while still feeling good about what you've achieved.

ivanadoeslimbo

^Yeah, that's what I think but I hate when that information is used against me.

I just wanted to say that I understand why somebody might be hesitant about talking about it.