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It won't matter which you put first and which you put second. They will see both. I think education is usually listed as most recent to least recent. You could opt to just leave both GPAs off. I wouldn't include the undergrad GPA and omit the grad GPA, though.
If I were you, I would have the counselor address it in his or her letter, but I would ask him or her to not specify the disorder and just say that you were facing health challenges your freshman and sophomore years that are now being successfully managed. Unfortunately, depression and other mental illnesses are often viewed negatively by college admissions.
When my mother was alive, I loved Mother's Day! I loved picking our the perfect card and the perfect gift and planning something to make her feel special! Every Mother's Day she'd thank my sister and me for making her a mother and we would just laugh. I do not have children of my own yet (unless fur babies count), and although I adore my mother-in-law and am more than happy to celebrate her, Mother's Day is still difficult for me. I usually get a little down on Mother's Day, but am grateful to have had so many wonderful memories with my mom before she passed. She was my best friend and I like to believe she's still with me every day. Looking forward to one day when Mother's Day is a happier day for me.
I am so sorry to hear about your father's cancer diagnosis. I too struggled with having a parent battling cancer while I was in undergrad (my mom), who unfortunately passed away my senior year. Short of talking to the dean, I'm not sure what else you can do in this situation. It may be possible though to talk to each individual professor and see if they would be willing to allow you to make up some of the points you lost in another way.
Please feel free to reach out to me if you need support from someone who has gone through something similar. One last thing - spend as much time with your dad as you can. Get his voice on tape. Wishing you strength and peace.
None of your accomplishments from high school (or lack there of) will have any effect on getting into graduate school. They won't ask for your high school GPA, about APs, ECs, or anything like that.
To get into a good graduate school:
1.) Maintain a high GPA
2.) Do research!! The more research, the better. Specifically it should be research with a professor with the intent to publish, not a research project you take on by yourself.
3.) Make connections with professors who will know you well enough to write you strong enough LORs for graduate school.
4.) Do well on the GRE (grad school equivalent of the SAT/ACT)
A few other things:
1.) I am in the biological sciences, so I can't speak for the social sciences, but make sure you understand what a "very selective" university in your field is. You may be surprised to learn that top schools are not Ivies. (I have no idea what top schools would be for you, when the time comes, research for yourself!)
2.) Think about what you want your future career to be. Don't go to graduate school just to go to graduate school. Go to graduate school because you need an advanced degree to succeed in your field of choice.
3.) Seriously consider if you want a masters or a Ph.D. Social sciences may be different, but in my field, there's usually no need for a masters and Ph.D. as they have different career tracks. You don't want to waste time (or money) on a masters if what you want to achieve will require a Ph.D. You don't want to spend 4-6 years on a Ph.D. is a masters is good enough.
4.) ECs are NOT really part of graduate school admission EXCEPT for research or activities that directly relate to what you want to do. (i.e. interning for a senator if you want to study poli sci, or clinical work if you want to study psychology). No one will care if you were president of ski club in graduate school applications.
5.) Your GPA and GRE will NOT get you into a good graduate school, but they will keep you out. A fairly "safe" GPA is >3.5. GRE scores will vary based on discipline. NOT doing research WILL keep you OUT of graduate school.
6.) It is okay to work between undergrad and grad school! There's nothing wrong with getting some more experience before graduate school.
7.) Did I mention that research is important to getting into graduate school? Research is CRITICAL! If you can get published, even better.