Welcome to College Confidential!

The leading college-bound community on the web

Sign Up For Free

Join for FREE, and start talking with other members, weighing in on community discussions, and more.

Also, by registering and logging in you'll see fewer ads and pesky welcome messages (like this one!)

As a CC member, you can:

  • Reply to threads, and start your own.
  • Post reviews of your campus visits.
  • Find hundreds of pages of informative articles.
  • Search from over 3 million scholarships.
College Confidential’s “Dean,” Sally Rubenstone, put together 25 of her best tips. So far, the "25 Tips from the Dean" eBook has helped more than 10K students choose a college, get in, and pay for it. Get your free copy: http://goo.gl/9zDJTM

raclut Senior Member

2,749 Points 5,339 Visits 2,760 Posts
Last Active:
Registered User
  • Re: Are my daughter and her friends all destined to be librarians with cats?

    I don't like this statement. "Destined to be librarian with cats." It sounds like gloom and doom if a woman doesn't find a suitable person to settle down with within a certain time frame. What's wrong with being a career woman, enjoying life, and traveling the world?

    To me the aggressive dating posted above (367) comes off as pushy and desperate.
    The whole vibe of the thread appears to me as if a person can't be happy if they don't find the right person within a certain time frame and settle down. Is the consensus that a woman can't be a happy single person or that they are a failure if they don't find a mate within a certain time frame? Marriage is not for everybody and gone will be the days where a woman needs to get married so that she can have kids and be a SAHM and financially be supported by her husband. Very few families can do that these days. Woman have invested in their education and careers and have a right to fulfill their own goals in life. Why this fear of being alone?

    I am not worried about my daughter getting married. That is not a guarantee of happiness as I have seen plenty of women stuck in unhappy marriages because they don't have the confidence that they can make it out on their own.
    I see a lot of self sacrifice made by women to keep their marriages intact. Frankly I get tired of meeting my friends and all they do is complain about their spouses.

    There is another thread called, "I am not destined for grandchildren." Is that really the end of the world? Seriously is that what life is about get married, have kids, and then grandkids. I have friends that are well educated and have nice careers but don't want a man in their life. They are very happy and very financially secure. Some of them wanted to be mothers so they adopted kids. I have a lot of regard and respect for them.

    If you feel bad that you will never have grandkids go volunteer in a neonatal unit or be a foster parent.
    I have told my daughter don't get married just for the sake of getting married. Marry only when you find that person who you feel respects you and is worthy of you. If it is meant to be it will happen if not so be it.

    For me my peace of mind will take place when she is financially independent, taking good care of herself, and exploring all life has to offer and being the best version of herself.

  • Re: Access Codes! The cost driver of books in college...

    My kid has had to buy clickers and access codes but for the most part her book costs have been minimal.
    For junior year in engineering/premed I don't think she spend more than $200 and that was over two semesters.
    Freshman year she mostly rented the books . As she became a sophomore, and then a junior the expense decreased because the teachers provided all the materials for the class or she was able to get a copy of the book needed from the college library. Senior year she expects book costs to not be very significant either. Knock on wood we got lucky in saving some money in that area.
  • Re: When someone you don't like passes away

    Honestly this is my feeling on this and this would be my wish.

    If you didn't care for me and respect me when I was alive please don't come to my funeral and fake sorrow and compassion for my family.
    It is better to not do or say anything and let the family mourn in peace instead of trying to keep up appearances.

    Life is too short to hold on to anger and bitterness. What goes around comes around. Let that be positivity.
  • Re: Are my daughter and her friends all destined to be librarians with cats?

    My daughter has had to block some linkedin users for sending inappropriate messages.
    She is looking for a job connection and they are looking for something else.
    I helped her adjust her privacy settings on her account but she still sometimes gets these kinds of messages.
  • Re: Are my daughter and her friends all destined to be librarians with cats?

    It's better to wait long than to marry wrong.